


Wrap your arms around my weakness

by CherryPie0



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Living Together, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki is 19, M/M, Praise Kink, Prostitute Farbauti, Silver Fox Thor, Thor is 50, eventual daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryPie0/pseuds/CherryPie0
Summary: Thor wasn't like the rest of his mom's clients; he was always kind and sweet and seemed to actually care about Loki.So, when Farbauti dies and Loki finds himself alone and with nowhere to go, he decides to ask help from Thor, despite not having seen him in years and knowing that the man has no reason to help him.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 715
Kudos: 1398





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【授翻】Wrap your arms around my weakness /拥你入怀](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365332) by [qingci2333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qingci2333/pseuds/qingci2333)



> Hellooooo! It's me, again✌️
> 
> A few things first:
> 
> 1\. The number of the chapters might change, but not by much.  
> 2\. Other tags will probably be added eventually.  
> 3\. There's an off-screen minor character death (Farbauti, like the summary says).  
> 4\. This is a prologue where Loki is 8-9 years, which makes Thor 39. The next chapter will start with their ages as stated in the tags. (19 for Loki, and 49-50 for Thor)  
> 5\. Title inspired by Selena Gomez's 'Vulnerable'. 
> 
> That's all, I think! I hope you enjoy 💖

Loki frowns as he rereads the math problem he's been trying to solve for the last ten minutes, sighing in frustration when he still struggles to understand what it’s asking. He's sure he knows the answer but his mind doesn't seem to be able to focus right now.

He pulls his legs up against his chest, placing his feet on the seat of the chair, and presses his hands to his ears in a futile attempt to block out the noises coming from the next room. He would be doing his homework in his room instead of studying here at the kitchen table, but he doesn't have a desk yet; thankfully, his mom promised him to buy him one for his next birthday!

But it's not only that.

He kind of hopes to see Thor before he leaves. He didn't even get to greet him when he came earlier today, because his mom immediately dragged him inside her bedroom and Loki doesn't want to lock himself in his room and not hear Thor leaving.

Normally, Loki does his best to avoid the guys his mom brings home. They're all assholes - his mom told him to not call them that and that he shouldn't be so ungrateful because they're paying for his food and clothes, but Loki still hates them - and they make stupid jokes and reek of cigarette smoke, ruffling his hair and pinching his cheeks, telling his mom that she should let him help with her work in a few years. Loki isn't exactly sure what they mean, but he knows he doesn't want that, especially if it involves them.

Thor, however, is different.

Thor is kind and smiles at him and asks him how he's doing at school.

Thor is the only person that sounds genuinely interested in what Loki has to say - even if they only talk for a few minutes every time Thor comes to their house - and tells him he's proud of him when Loki does well on a test.

Thor brings him toys and books and even helps him with his homework when Loki's struggling.

Sometimes, Loki wishes his mom and Thor would get married, so Thor could be his dad. But he knows this won't happen. He asked his mom about it, hoping that he might be able to convince her but she of course didn't seem to agree that it was a good idea- or even possible; _"Yeah, Thor might seem like a nice guy and all, but no one comes here looking for marriage, Lolo. Or you really think any of them would want to raise another man's brat?"_

Loki didn't insist. His mom was probably right, anyway.

Still, he always looks forward to seeing Thor.

He slowly pulls his hands away from his ears when he realizes the noises have stopped, biting his lower lip nervously, knowing that Thor will probably emerge out from the room in a bit.

He turns his gaze at his book and pretends to be studying, as he impatiently waits for Thor. He doesn't want it to look like he's been waiting for him all this time- even though that's exactly what Loki has been doing.

He perks up when he hears the door open, his heart jumping in excitement and anticipation. He can see from the corner of his eyes his mother heading to the bathroom, while Thor makes his way across the hall, approaching the kitchen where Loki is.

"Is the little genius studying again?" Thor says as he enters in the kitchen and Loki can't help giggling even though he knows what Thor said is a lie. He's definitely not a genius; he only gets good grades because he's _always_ studying since it takes him a long time to focus and understand things. Still, he likes it when Thor calls him that.

Loki smiles at him and nods, tries not to look too eager or expectant, but he's sure he's failing. It's just that no one else gives him any gifts and Loki absolutely loves everything Thor has bought him so far.

"How're you doing, kid?" Thor asks as he takes a seat at the table across Loki, his presence filling the room, making it seem even smaller than it is. "How's school going?"

Loki shrugs, his cheeks heating up like they always do when he talks to Thor. "Good. It's boring sometimes, but most subjects are fine."

Thor nods his head to show him that he's listening and the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles at him. Loki likes having Thor's attention, he basks in it; he wishes Thor would stay longer. 

"I still don't like math but Ms. Pepper said I'm getting better! Oh, and a new girl came to my school last week and she talked to me- well, she talks a lot, _all_ the time. But I don't mind. She's fun. Her name is Darcy. She, also, said that she can help me with math, because her dad is a math teacher and he helps her study, so maybe I'll get an A on the next test! Do you think I could do that?" He asks, blushing even more when he realizes he's been rambling for so long.

But Thor doesn't complain or tell him to shut up, so Loki relaxes, mirroring the smile Thor offers him.

"Baby, of course, you can. I'm sure the next time I'm here you'll be telling me how well you did on your test," Thor tells him and Loki's grin widens. That's how Thor usually calls him. The first time Loki had protested that he's not a baby anymore, but he likes it now. It makes him feel all warm and funny inside. 

"Oh! I almost forgot," Thor says and gets up, going to grab his jacket and a paper bag that makes Loki's heart flip with hope and excitement.

He bites his lower lip and tries not to grin too much when Thor hands him the bag. Loki immediately opens it, his eyes widening when he sees what it is. "Thor!" He squeaks happily, seeing another new book and a drawing block with colored pencils. 

"You told me you like drawing, right?" Thor asks, sitting on the chair again, and Loki nods his head, his heart hurting from feeling so happy!

Thor actually remembered!

He doesn't stop himself from climbing off his chair and throwing himself at Thor, stumbling on his toes so he can wrap his arms around Thor's neck.

"Thank you, Thor. They're perfect! I love them!"

Thor returns the hug, rubbing gently his back with a large hand. "You're w-"

"For God's sake, Loki, leave the man alone," comes his mom's voice and Loki instantly pulls away, looking sheepishly at Thor and then at his mom.

"I'm sorry, mom."

"It's okay, Fab, I don't mind," Thor tells her and all Loki wants to say is _'please, stay, please please please'_ but he knows he can't, so he doesn't.

His mom, however, completely ignores Thor's words and glares at Loki who quickly gathers his things from the table and shoves everything in his backpack, before heading to his room. "Goodnight, Thor."

"Goodnight, baby," Thor tells him kindly and Loki almost wants to ask his mom why can't Thor stay just for a bit longer; perhaps just to put Loki to sleep, tuck him in bed and kiss his forehead goodnight.

Loki closes the door of his room and grabs his new drawing block from the bag, hugs it to his chest, smiling even though his heart aches, knowing that Thor will be gone in a bit.

He sighs and puts the block back in the paper bag, before hiding it underneath his bed along with everything else Thor has given him. He's not sure why he does it; he just knows that he doesn't want to share this with anyone else, not even with his mom. He wants this to be just a thing between him and Thor. Their little secret.

He slips into his bed and under the covers, smiling as he thinks about it; about Thor and the gifts, about Thor remembering what he likes and actually listening to him, _caring_ about him.

He curls in on himself under the blanket and lets his eyes close, the smile staying on his face as he drifts off to sleep.

He already can't wait to see Thor again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is 19yo here, like the tags say, and the chapter takes place a month after Farbauti's death.

Loki folds another pair of jeans and puts them in the suitcase, reaching for his t-shirts next, suddenly thankful that he doesn't have many clothes; they'll all fit in the suitcase just fine.

It doesn't take him long to pack them. Soon his closet is almost completely empty and he feels his heart clench painfully at the sight, reality hitting him.

He knew this day would come. He thought he had prepared himself for it but apparently not enough.

He had wanted to leave this house, to leave his mom, for so long, but he never thought that it would happen in this way. Now that he's completely alone, that he has no one to go to and nowhere to stay, he regrets all the times he wished he could leave this place.

He realizes he's crying only when he licks his dry lips and tastes salt on his tongue. He wipes his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, but doesn't try to stop the tears that follow.

He sits on the bed and hugs his pillow close to his chest, lets the tears spill.

It's been almost a month since his mom died and even though he's glad she's not suffering anymore, he still misses her, and he'll miss this house, too.

He might not have the best childhood memories, but it wasn't all that bad. He remembers moments of happiness, too. Like when his mom would take the day off, deciding to stay home with him, and she would make him pie, smelling like apples, instead of alcohol and smoke and sex. Then they'd eat and play something or perhaps watch a movie. Loki treasured every second of the time they spent together.

He sniffles and resists lying on the bed and crying himself to sleep, knowing that he'll have to be gone by three this afternoon.

At first, Loki thought he could have saved enough money to pay at least some of the rents they owe and he convinced the landlord to give him two more weeks, but it was quite impossible, especially when the bill for his mom's meds came. No matter how many extra shifts he took at the diner, he barely managed to cover those expenses and soon he realized there was no way he could pay even half the rent this month.

He can't really blame the landlord for throwing him out; they haven't managed to pay rent for months. With his mother being sick and only him working and having to taking care of her, it was really hard to.

And now, he has no idea what he'll do. All he knows is he needs to keep packing.

He takes a deep breath and gets up, his vision still blurry from the tears. He grabs the soft, fluffy hoodie that belonged to his mom and puts it in his suitcase, his fingers brushing over it, his lips curling into a sad smile. He donated the rest of her stuff - it wasn't much anyway - but he kept this. She used to wear it when they stayed in together. Loki loved to snuggle up to her and nuzzle his face into the soft material, his mom wrapping her arms around him.

He puts in the suitcase whatever else fits inside and then closes it, grabbing his backpack to pack the rest of his things. Headphones, his favorite books, phone charger, drawing pencils-

He pauses when he sees his first drawing block, still in great condition despite it being years old. He flips through it, his old drawings bringing a smile on his lips. With everything happening, he hasn't had the time to draw anything in so long, he really missed it.

There's a cut page in the end of it, between the last page and the cover of the block; it's crumpled but not too much, like someone crumpled it into a ball and then regretted it and tried to save it, a portrait of a familiar face drawn on the page.

Loki remembers this all too clear.

He hasn't thought about it, about... _Thor_ in a long while, but he definitely hasn't forgotten him.

Loki brushes a finger over the sketch, the tip of his index following the lines of Thor's face; it's a sloppy drawing - especially compared to his drawings now - but he can still clearly see Thor in it.

Loki smiles fondly at the thought of him even as his chest tightens, making it a bit harder for him to breathe.

Thor... Thor has been the best part of his childhood for many years. Seeing him was the highlight of Loki's life back then, always looking forward to talking to him and showing him his drawings. Thor used to come at least twice a month and Loki would always count down the days until his next visit even if he didn't know when exactly it would be.

Loki had been so excited to draw this; he was still so insecure of his drawing skills back then - well, not that he isn't now, if he’s honest - but Thor always praised him when Loki showed him what he had drawn, so Loki had decided to do this and give it to him. He was rather proud of how it had turned out, but it still took him weeks to find the courage to actually give it to Thor.

During one of Thor's visits actually, Loki had come really close to giving it but then his mom had showed up, and it didn't happen.

Loki promised himself that he would give it the next time Thor would come.

But well... unfortunately, there was not a next time after that.

Loki had kept the drawing intact for weeks, months, refusing to believe that Thor wouldn't return. There was no way Thor disappeared like that, without saying anything, that's what Loki kept telling himself; Thor was nice and kind and cared about him, he wouldn't do that to him.

Loki remembers asking his mom about it after a month of Thor not showing up, worried that something might have happened to him. His mom reassured him that Thor was fine, that these things happen. Thor wouldn't have stayed forever, anyway.

And perhaps that's why it hurt so much; because deep down inside him Loki really hoped that Thor would have. That Thor cared about him and loved him enough to stay.

But then, little him realized how ridiculous that was; hoping that Thor would stay for him, when not even his actual father did.

Loki huffs and shakes his head, snapping the block closed.

It took him a year to accept that Thor wasn't coming back; he threw the drawing in the trash and went to sleep crying, waking up in the middle of the night to take it back from the bin, regretting ruining it.

Loki puts the block inside his backpack, frowning when he sees a small piece of paper on the floor, something written on it.

Oh.

He realizes what it is the moment he picks it up, remembering how he sneaked around his mom's stuff and found Thor's address and phone number, convinced that something had happened to Thor and he had to make sure he's alright. He was too young to have a cell phone or enough money to take the bus to the other side of the town, so he ended up doing nothing.

Loki considers throwing the little piece of paper away but he decides against it and doesn't dwell on it as he puts it inside the back pocket of his jeans.

Thankfully, there's not much left to pack after that, the whole process turning it out be more painful and exhausting than Loki expected.

He gathers his things and slowly heads to the front door, looking around the mostly empty house. He finally has the freedom he was wishing for all these years and he has never felt more lost in his life.

"I'll figure it out," he tries to reassure himself, but the words taste like a lie on his tongue.

**

His shift ended ten minutes ago and now Loki feels the exhaustion finally catching up with him, his stomach growling loud in protest. He forgot to eat all day. Again.

He sighs and slips into a booth, his body immediately melting into it; now that he's finally sitting, his legs feel like fucking jelly. He’s actually surprised he didn't collapse during the shift.

He jumps, startled, when a plate is placed on the table in front of him, his eyes flying open; he didn't even realize he closed them.

"You look like you need to eat something, bud," Bucky tells him with a soft smile and Loki nods, muttering a _thanks_ under his breath.

He realizes how truly hungry he is when he starts eating, finishing his burger and fries in no time, sending a thankful smile towards Bucky.

He feels a bit better now that he's not starving, but now it's time for him to actually think what he's going to do, where the fuck he's going to stay until he can afford renting an apartment, probably with two or three other people, because there's no way he'll save enough money to rent one on his own just by waiting at the diner.

He doesn't really have many options, does he?

_"You know, if you really wanted to help me, Lolo, you would quit that pathetic job of yours at the diner and would follow my advice. Mama only wants the best for you, sweetie, you know that. Most of my clients wouldn't even care that you're not a woman; they just want a wet hole to fuck. And you're definitely pretty enough, so why not? At least think about it, Lolo. The money is much better."_

_"We've talked about it, mom," Loki sighs patiently as he brings the plates on the table, giving his mom a pleading look; he's tired, he doesn't want to talk about this again._

_His mom of course doesn't like his reply, her face turning into an ugly grimace._

_"What, you're too good to get fucked for money? That's the money that brought food on the table and raised you, boy! Don't act like you're better than this," his mom spits and Loki nods tiredly, not wanting to discuss this any longer._

_He doesn't understand how his mom expects something like that from him. It's not about the job, about what his mom did. It's simply that he despises those men; their smell, their smiles, their hungry looks, their lingering unwelcome touches,_ everything. _He feels sick to his stomach just thinking about it._

_"Eat your soup, mom. It's gonna get cold."_

_His mom huffs and mutters something under her breath about ungrateful spoiled brats but does as she's told, the rest of their lunch passing in complete silence._

Loki considers it.

Lets himself think about this just for a moment. Maybe that's his only solution. Or perhaps that's how he has always been destined to end up.

But Loki doesn't want this. He can't- he _won't_.

He shudders just at the thought and squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds, willing this kind of thoughts to disappear.

Anything but this.

He pulls his legs up and folds them against his chest, making himself a small ball as he hugs his knees, like he used to when he was a kid and did his homework, trying to focus on the problem and find the solution.

Only that this time, there doesn't seem to be one.

He's just... _so_ tired.

Even when his mom was alive, all Loki did during this last year was taking care of her and working here at the diner, taking as many shifts as he could so they could pay the bills.

He's tired of being constantly worried, of never feeling relaxed, of every day being worse than the one before.

He just wants someone to take care of him for once; wants a place where he can feel safe and protected and loved.

His mind goes to the little piece of paper in his back pocket and he reaches for it, unfolding it and placing it in front of him on the table.

_Thor._

He's not actually considering it, is he?

Sure, he's desperate, but can he really call a random guy that used to come to their house to fuck his mom - because as much Loki used to love to pretend that Thor visited them to see _him_ , he knows that's not true in the slightest - and ask him for help? After not having heard from him for more than eight years?

Besides, didn't Thor abandon him already once? Why does Loki want to give Thor the opportunity to reject him again?

Loki tells himself this and _more_ \- Thor is a stranger, there's no reason for him to help Loki, and why is Loki worthy of Thor's attention, he's nothing to Thor, otherwise Thor would have at least said goodbye instead of just disappearing - but there's still a small part of him that still believes that Thor truly cared about him. Sometimes, if he thinks about it, he feels like Thor was the only person that genuinely cared about him in his whole life.

So, perhaps asking him for help isn't that silly.

Perhaps life is done fucking with him and will finally give him a break, a chance to just breathe.

And perhaps that break is Thor.

Loki truly hopes so.

His hands are shaking as he types Thor’s number on his phone, his thumb hovering over the call icon on the screen. His heart is pounding in his chest, his stomach twisting into a knot, suddenly the burger he ate not seeming like a very good idea.

He can't do this. He _can't_.

But he has to.

He takes a deep breath and lets the pad of his thumb touch the screen, quickly bringing the phone to his ear with a trembling hand.

Fuck. Here it is.

_"The number you have called is no longer in service. Please check-"_

Nonono, it can't be.

Loki ends the call and types the number again, checks it twice before tapping on the green call icon, praying that the result will be different this time.

_"The number you have called is no l-"_

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

He hadn't even considered this possibility; how could he be so stupid! What did he expect, really? It's been _years_ , almost a fucking decade since he found Thor's number. What were the chances that he still had the same one?

He realizes he's crying - _again_ ; probably for the hundredth fucking time today - and hugs his legs tighter against his chest, resting his forehead on his knees, thankful for the secluded table he chose. Not that there are many customers in the diner this late at night, but even the illusion of privacy is still appreciated.

So, now that Thor is definitely out of the picture, what is he su-

The address!

He still has the fucking address!

He grabs his phone again and googles the address that's scribbled on the little piece of paper, quickly finding the buses he'll have to take in order to get there. It's quite far from the diner but thankfully he'll only have to take two buses.

That... that's good.

That's better than nothing.

It's almost two in the morning so he obviously can't go now. Besides he asked for the morning shift tomorrow - well, today actually - figuring that since he'd stay there the night, he might as well work in the morning. So he can take some rest now, then work, and go to Thor after his shift has ended.

Perfect.

Loki feels proud of himself all for a moment before he realizes how incredibly stupid his plan is.

Is he really going to show up to a stranger's house and ask for a place to stay? Even if Thor still lives there, who's to say that he lives alone? That he doesn't have a wife and kids and the last thing he needs in his house is Loki. How is he even going to introduce Loki to them? _'Here's Loki, the son of the hooker I used to fuck ten years ago'_.

"Hey, Loki-" Loki jumps at the sound of the voice - even though it's gentle - and the hand on his shoulder, tilting his head up to see Bucky standing there. "Whoa, easy there,” Bucky says, raising his hands in surrender. “The boss won't be coming back until morning, you can go lie in the backroom if you want. I'll wake you up when my shift ends, okay?"

Loki blinks and nods his head slowly, getting up and following Bucky to the back of the diner.

"Tell me if you need anything," Bucky says before leaving, and Loki whispers a quiet _thank you_ and settles into the little couch, kicking his shoes off so he can curl up on it. There's even a blanket folded and placed on the back of the couch and Loki grabs it, spreading it over himself as he lies on his side.

He's exhausted, not having slept well for way too long, and he lets out a pleased sigh as he finds a comfortable position on the couch, but still he doubts sleep will come easily, no matter how tired he is.

His chest feels heavy and he needs to put effort in every breath he takes, struggling to get enough air.

He misses his mom and his home, his room, his bed. He wants someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be alright, pet his hair until he falls asleep.

He thought he could handle this - and he should, shouldn't he? he's an adult - but he can't. Not on his own.

Tomorrow, he'll go to Thor's house, he decides.

Thor might not still live there or he might be there but not willing to help Loki. But there's also a small chance of Thor not sending him away and letting him stay there for a few nights.

So, Loki will give it a try.

He has to.

He still remembers how safe he felt when Thor was around, how Thor made him smile and laugh, always so kind and sweet.

He feels ridiculous when he lets himself think about this - about how Thor has been such an important part of his life, while Thor probably doesn't even remember his existence - but he can't help it.

If he's honest just the possibility of him seeing Thor again is enough to make him want to go, no matter the outcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki has been standing outside of the building of Thor's apartment for half an hour now, willing himself to relax just enough so he can do this.

Thor might not even be here; it's not a big deal.

But what if he _is_?

Loki's not ready for this; he'll probably never be.

He checks himself in the reflection on the glass of the building's door, grimacing at the sight. He did his best to freshen up at the diner's restroom when he finished his shift, but after getting barely a couple of hours of sleep, it's no wonder he looks like shit; all the crying and having to work didn’t help either. Unfortunately he can’t do anything about it now.

It wasn’t easy to take the decision to actually come here and he changed his mind about this so many times during these last hours, but in the end he got in the bus and now here he is.

He sees a woman getting out of the elevator, now heading to the front door, and he braces himself, knowing this is his chance.

"Uh, excuse me," he says awkwardly and smiles as politely as he can, hoping he looks friendly enough. The woman raises her eyebrows in question, looking at him expectantly. "Do you happen to know where, uhm… where Mr. Odinson lives?"

The woman looks at him from head to toes, probably trying to figure out what the fuck Loki wants, but in the end she simply shrugs, apparently deciding she doesn't care. "3C."

Loki breathes out a sigh he didn't know he was holding, offering her a genuine, grateful smile now. "Thank you so much, ma'am."

She nods at him, still eyeing him a bit suspiciously, but lets him get in the building before carrying on on her way.

The elevator is already there, so Loki doesn't have to wait for it, and before he knows it he has already reached the third floor. He walks across the hall until he finds the apartment 3C, feeling like his heart will burst out of his chest if it continues beating like this.

He eyes the doorbell and takes a deep breath, moving his hand towards it before he has any time to regret it and leave. The bell sounds too loud in the empty hallway and Loki winces, his hands clenching into fists as he tries to calm himself.

_This is actually happening._

Several seconds pass before Loki hears steps from inside the apartment as someone approaches and then the door is opening and Thor is standing right before him, his broad shoulders filling the door frame, his size being just as impressive as when Loki was a kid, even if now Loki stands at only a few inches shorter than him.

He realizes that he's been silent for too long and that he should speak when Thor clears his throat, his expression patient, kind. "Can I help you with something, kid?"

Fuck.

_kid_

Thor didn't recognize him. Of course he didn't. Why would he remember Loki, after all? He was nothing to Thor. 

And yet here Loki is, expecting this man to help him.

"Uhm," he starts and gulps past the lump in his throat, self-consciously burying his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "No, it's not- I'm... You- you know me. I mean, you used to..." Shit. Shit shit _shit_. This was a bad idea. What was he thinking! "I- I'm sorry, I'll just go."

He immediately reaches for the handle of his suitcase and grips it tightly with a trembling hand, turning to leave when Thor stops him.

"Loki?" The word comes out hesitant from Thor's mouth, uncertain, obviously not quite sure yet whether it's actually Loki or not. Still, it makes Loki smile, hearing Thor saying his name after all these years, knowing that Thor hasn't forgotten him completely.

Loki dares to meet his gaze, not surprised to find a confused frown on Thor's face. He nods and blinks back a few tears, feeling quite pathetic when he realizes he probably looks like a kicked puppy right now.

"Hey," he says quietly, trying not to squirm when Thor just looks at him for a few seconds, probably only now noticing the suitcase beside Loki. His frown deepens but he moves aside in an invitation, making enough free space for Loki to pass.

"Would you like to come in?" Thor asks, sounding quite lost, and Loki nods, wordlessly accepting the invitation and shuffling inside, his shoulders slightly relaxing when he hears the door close behind. This doesn't necessarily mean anything, but he found Thor, he's actually here with him right now, and that's enough for him to feel just a little bit better. For now, at least.

Thor leads him to the living room, gesturing for Loki to sit, and Loki does so, taking a seat on the corner of the couch, placing his suitcase beside it.

"Would you like something to dri-"

"No no, I- I'm fine. Thank you," Loki says immediately and Thor nods his head once, before settling on the armchair.

They're completely silent for a few seconds after that, neither of them knowing how to start a conversation. Thor probably wants to ask what the fuck Loki's doing at his house, or how the hell he found where Thor lives, but he's too kind to say it like this. He must be waiting Loki to explain himself on his own.

A chuckle from Thor startles Loki who snaps his eyes at Thor's face, finding a smile there now. "Fuck. How long has it been, huh-" _more than eight years_ , Loki thinks but doesn't say anything- "You've grown up so much, Jesus, look at you. You must be, what? Eighteen now?"

"Uh, nineteen, actually."

Thor hums and nods, his lips curled into a smile, but he obviously feels the awkwardness, as well. Loki knows he's supposed to be the one that should start explaining himself but he doesn't know how he can even begin to do that.

So, instead, he lets himself look at Thor, knowing that his visit might not last as long as he'd like to.

He has changed and yet, somehow, he still looks just the same; just as handsome and kind as he was when he used to come to their house, ask Loki about his day and listen to him ramble.

His hair that used to be blond and long is short and mostly white now - just like his beard - and the wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles are much more prominent than they used to be, his eyes just as blue and breathtaking as always.

His chest and shoulders are still huge and broad and his biceps are bulging beneath his plain grey t-shirt, the only difference between now and back then being his belly that seems to have softened over the years.

He's definitely the most attractive man Loki's ever seen, even more beautiful than he remembered. If Loki's honest, he was kind of hoping that his mind had been tricking him all these years, that his memories of the man he had idolized as a kid - and never stopped doing so - wouldn't actually match reality. That Thor wouldn't live up to them.

But he was obviously wrong.

"-where?"

"Hm?" Loki asks when he realizes that Thor is talking to him, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"I said what's with the suitcase. You going somewhere?" Thor asks, not unkindly, keeping his voice gentle as if Loki's a trapped animal and Thor is afraid that he'll scare him.

As if Loki isn't the one that appeared at his house completely uninvited.

"Oh, right. My, uh, my mom died," he says, watching how the smile on Thor's face immediately falls.

"Fuck, kid. I'm sorry," he says, the words sounding genuine and Loki offers him a sad, little smile, shrugging his shoulder.

"It's okay," he mumbles without really meaning it, trying to figure out how he should tell Thor the next part; the reason why he's here. He takes a deep breath, refusing to meet Thor's gaze as he speaks. "You're probably wondering what the fuck I’m doing here- and by the way, I'm sorry for appearing at your house in such a way, out of nowhere, but I just... I- I don't really have anyone else, I had no idea where to go. And then, then I found your phone number and your address and- and I remembered how nice you used to be to me - not many people were - so I decided to give it a chance. I have nothing else to lose, after all. I tried calling you first but you've probably changed your number since then and, well, since I had your address I thought I should at least try and see if you still live here. And now here I am," he says in one breath and exhales shakily, continuing before Thor can say anything.

"I thought I would be able to pay the rent but my mom already owed many months and I had to pay for her meds first, so the landlord had to throw me out and now I'm... well, now I'm completely alone and have no idea what the fuck I'm gonna do. And I just... I just thought that maybe you could let me stay here, even for just a couple of days, not longer. I know you don’t owe me anything, I mean, you barely even know me, so I’ll understand if you say no, but I had to try. I- I'm working at a diner so I'll be out of your hair most evenings and I can pay for my own food and everything. And I'll start looking for a second job so I can afford to rent an apartment-"

"Loki-"

"I promise it won't be for long. Just for a few days. I can sleep anywhere, I don't mind. Oh! And I can cook and clean and deal with all the chores in the house; I took care of my mom and the house while she was sick, I can do this, I promise," he finishes at last, only now realizing that his vision is blurry and a few tears slide down his cheeks when he blinks.

"Hey hey, calm down, kid. Shh, come on, just- just breathe," Thor says gently and Loki nods and rubs his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, before finally turning his gaze back to Thor. Thor smiles at him warmly, reassuringly, and reaches to cup Loki's hand that's resting on Loki's thigh, giving it a slight squeeze. "You're not alone, okay? You can stay here for as long as you need."

Loki's eyes widen at the words; that's what he was hoping to hear but he didn't really believe that it would happen. "Really?"

"Yeah, kid, really. This- well, yes, it was definitely unexpected, but you can stay at the guestroom, there's no problem. Take as much time as you need. And don't worry about expenses, it's fine, okay? You're still a kid, you shouldn't be dealing with all this shit alone."

Loki's eyes fill with fresh tears before Thor even stops talking, feeling overwhelmed and relieved and even happy for a moment, knowing that for now at least he won't be completely alone. He throws himself at Thor without thinking, wrapping his arms around his neck, hugging him tight. "Thank you so much. So, so much. _Thank you_ ," Loki says between his sobs and Thor hugs him back, stroking his back soothingly. It's a bit awkward and uncomfortable with him standing and Thor sitting, but it's still the best hug Loki got in years.

His emotions are a complete mess right now and if he's honest he would absolutely love to stay like this with Thor for the next few days, but he tries his best to collect himself, just enough to pull away after a while. "M'sorry," he mumbles, sniffling, tears still falling. He feels like he's been holding them back for the last month - or even before that - and now he can finally let go; yes, he's been crying a lot the past weeks, but this feels different; this feels like relief. 

Even his heart feels lighter, not a heavy weight in his chest anymore. This might not be a permanent solution, but at least it means he won't have to worry about where he's going to sleep and shower in the next few days.

"I work most mornings, you'll probably be still asleep when I leave, but feel free to do whatever you want to when you wake up. The fridge is full, but if you want me to grab you anything else from the grocery store, just make a list-"

"Oh, no no, there's no need to! I eat everything, it's fine," Loki says and smiles despite the tears still silently falling.

"Okay okay. Tell me if you change your mind. You can go take a shower if you want. I'll get the guestroom ready," Thor tells him and gets up, motioning with his head for Loki to follow him, grabbing Loki's suitcase and carrying it to the room.

Loki walks right behind him, curiously looking around the house he'll be living in for the next days.

"So, here's the guestroom. My room is right next to yours in case you need anything, and that door is the bathroom," Thor explains as they step inside the guestroom and Loki nods, trying not to look too disgusting as he sniffles and wipes the tears off his eyes.

Thor's apartment isn't that big but it's definitely bigger and at a better condition than his old house. The guestroom is quite spacious, with a decent-sized bed - obviously bigger than the one Loki used for years since he was a kid - and a closet that Loki wouldn't even dream to fill, a bookcase and a desk that has a window right above it.

Loki already loves his new room- not that it's really his, of course.

"It's not much, but it'll do," Thor says with a shrug, but Loki immediately shakes his head.

"It's perfect. Thank you."

Thor smiles at him; Loki had missed being the receiver of that smile. "Okay, so grab whatever you need and go shower. There's plenty of hot water, take your time if you want to. Oh, and there are clean towels in the bathroom. You can put your clothes in the laundry basket if they need washing," Thor tells him and then leaves the room, giving him some privacy to get ready for his shower.

Loki opens his suitcase and rummages inside as carefully as he can, not wanting to make a mess, grabbing a clean pair of boxers, his black leggings and his mom's purple hoodie, before heading to the bathroom. He finds the towels immediately, smiling to himself as he runs his fingers over the soft material.

He gets undressed and puts everything in the laundry basket as Thor told him to, happy to get rid of the smell of fries and burgers.

His mind is mostly at peace as he showers, feeling calm for the first time in what feels like forever. The hot water feels perfect as it runs down his body, relaxing his tense muscles, but Loki doesn't stay in the shower for long. Thor might have told him to take his time but Loki doesn't want him to think that he's taking advantage of his hospitality.

Still, even if he doesn't linger, he truly enjoys his shower; especially, since the hot water at his old house turned cold after barely ten minutes.

Once he's dressed again, he heads back to the guestroom, wanting to see if Thor needs any help but Thor isn't there and the bed is already covered with clean sheets and fluffy blankets. There are even two pillows in the head of the bed, and some clean towels.

Loki wants to cry. Again.

He knew there was a possibility that Thor would be willing to help him but he definitely wasn't expecting this. This is already much more than most people have done for him in his whole life.

He tries not to think about it too much for now and, instead, he simply makes his way to the living room, taking a seat on the couch like before.

Thor appears a few seconds later and smiles when he sees him. "The sandwiches are almost ready. Make yourself at home. I'll be right back."

"Do you need any help-"

"No no, I'm good. They're almost ready, anyway, " Thor reassures him, before disappearing into the kitchen again.

Loki can't resist lying down on the couch as he waits for Thor, resting his head on one of the soft pillows Thor has there. He grabs another pillow and hugs it against his chest, curling around it even though the couch is big enough to fit him just fine.

Loki sighs, his body silently thanking him for finally lying down after such an exhausting day. The couch is really comfortable and nice and Loki is _so_ tired. He tells himself he'll just close his eyes for a few seconds, just until Thor comes back with the sandwiches, but he honestly shouldn't be surprised when he quickly drifts off to sleep.

Loki hums sleepily as someone - _Thor_ , his sleepy mind reminds him - covers him with a blanket, causing warmth to spread through his whole body. Thor fixes the blanket so that he's covered completely, basically wrapping it around Loki as carefully as he can and Loki smiles as he's being tucked in. It's nice, really nice; the last time his mom tucked him in was when he was a baby.

And yes, he knows it might be completely ridiculous to want this now, at nineteen years old, but sometimes it's just nice to have someone that cares about you enough to want to make sure that you went to bed, that you're alright.

Loki starts a little when a large but gentle hand pets his hair, feeling his heart melt at the gesture. He misses the touch the moment Thor leaves but the smile remains on his face as he falls back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's how I imagine Thor and Loki looking in this fic: [ link](https://twitter.com/LoooveMeSomePie/status/1259127813799641088?s=19) 😁


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly blown away by the wonderful feedback this fic has received so far. Thank you all so much for your encouraging comments and for leaving kudos/bookmarking! It means a lot!  
> I'm really excited to share the rest of the story with you! I hope you keep enjoying this💖💖💖

He doesn't see Thor much during the next couple of days. Thor is already gone when he wakes up and Loki leaves for work before Thor gets home, so they only see each other at night. Thor is usually in the living room, watching a movie, when Loki comes back from work, and Loki sits there just long enough for them to exchange a few words before heading to his room, not wanting to bother Thor any more than necessary.

It's a nice routine they've started building, but Loki knows he'll have to leave soon, so he tells himself to not get used to it. He's already trying to find a second job but so far it's not going very well, which he was expecting but it's still disappointing.

The silver lining is that until he finds a second job, he has time to keep the house clean and cook, which is definitely not much but at least in this way he doesn't feel like he's taking advantage of Thor's kindness.

All in all, his life during these last few days is going better than he ever dared to hope.

Well, except for the nights, but that's not surprising.

He still hasn't gotten used to his new bed and despite it being bigger and much more comfortable than his old one, it takes Loki a long while until he manages to relax. It's also that he keeps himself busy the rest of the day, so all his worries and thoughts come to crush him at night. It's then that he remembers that even though now he has a roof over his head and food to eat and a warm bed to sleep, he's still completely alone.

Thor agreed to let him stay for a while but that doesn't mean he'll keep Loki around for much longer. Loki isn't as stupid as to truly believe that; even if sometimes he lets himself think about it, imagine how it'd be if he kept living here, with Thor, and didn't have to leave.

It's a silly fantasy, Loki is fully aware of that, and he does his best to not indulge in it too much. Last time he was hoping for something like that, he ended up not seeing Thor for years, so he knows better than to truly entertain such dangerous thoughts. 

He sighs quietly and stretches on the bed, deciding that it's time to get up. He grabs a towel and some clothes and shuffles to the bathroom to take a quick shower. He doesn’t linger more than necessary, finishing quickly and then getting dressed, grimacing when he sees himself in the mirror, the lack of sleep rather obvious in the black circles under his eyes.

He'll try to get some actual sleep tonight, he promises himself, before tying his hair up in a messy bun and heading to the kitchen.

The smell of pancakes hits his nostrils before he even steps in, making his mouth water. Did Thor make breakfast? Loki hopes he left some for him, too. It's been really long since the last time he ate some good pancakes and these smell really fucking delicio-

Oh.

Loki doesn't expect to find Thor still here, sitting at the table and eating breakfast, but there he is. He wonders for a moment if he can go back to his room and pretend to be sleeping or if Thor has already heard him approaching.

He doesn't get the chance to decide because Thor turns his head and looks at him, smiling and beckoning him to come and sit.

"You're up early. I thought teenagers liked to sleep in," Thor says as Loki makes his way to the table, finding already a plate of pancakes waiting for him there.

He shrugs awkwardly in reply, trying to mirror the smile Thor has on his face. "I have a few job interviews later," he explains, chewing on the inside of his cheek a bit nervously even though Thor has given him no reason to feel nervous around him. Loki is at least glad that now Thor knows that he wasn't lying about trying to find a second job.

"Hey, you don't have to worry yourself about that, okay? You can stay here for as long as you need to, I don't mind. It's not the end of the world if you don't find another job," Thor tells him and startles Loki as he reaches to squeeze his hand, giving him a reassuring smile.

Loki wants to believe him so bad.

But he can't. He can't let himself feel too comfortable when he knows that it won't last.

"Oh, I didn't ask you, but I hope you like pancakes-"

"I do."

"Okay okay, good. It's my specialty," Thor says, looking quite proud of himself and Loki can't help smiling. "Sorry I startled you, by the way. I should have told you I usually start work a bit later on Fridays."

"It's okay," Loki replies lamely, even though what he wants to say is that Thor doesn't have to apologize to him for being at his own home; he even made Loki breakfast! No one has done that in years!

Thor nods and smiles at him, looking a bit awkward now. He's like that a lot, like he doesn't know how to act around Loki; Loki can't blame him. Thor didn't ask to deal with all this shit and yet here he is, being kind and doing the best he can.

"Loki?"

Loki's eyes snap at Thor who’s already looking at him, frowning. "Uh sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh. Yes yes, I'm fine," he replies, slightly taken aback by the question.

Thor doesn't look very convinced, but it's obvious that he doesn't want to push Loki, to pressure him. "It's alright if you're not okay, you know that right? And you can talk to me, if you want."

Loki nods and smiles even though he doubts he'll take him up to his offer; he would prefer it if he bothered Thor as less as possible while he's living here.

He thinks Thor has dropped the subject, but Thor continues, his voice even gentler than before as he speaks.

"I don't want to intrude or anything, but the walls are very thin- just... tell me if you need something. A hot bath usually helps me when I can't sleep. Or some tea, maybe. Or I just go to the living room and watch a movie until I fall asleep on the couch," Thor tells him and Loki's eyes widen a little; _fuck_. Did Thor actually hear him crying? He thought he was being quite. Apparently not enough.

"Shit. Did I wake you? I'm so sorry, Thor. I'll be quieter, I promise-"

"Hey hey, no. That's not why I said it, Loki. I'm just worried and want to make sure that you're fine. I hope you know you don't need my permission to, I don't know, watch TV, or use anything in the house, or whatever. You don't have to stay in your room all the time- well, unless that's what you want, which is perfectly fine, of course," Thor says, the words sounding a bit rehearsed, like he was thinking about this, about _Loki_.

It fills Loki with warmth, knowing that Thor cares about him, even a little bit. "Thank you, Thor," he says, a genuine smile making its way to his lips.

"Okay, good... Good. I’m glad we talked about this," Thor mumbles and gets up, taking his plate and cup to the sink. "And it's fine if you don't have time to do the dishes, just leave them here. That's what I usually do, anyway," Thor tells him with a shrug and Loki can't help giggling, imagining Thor forcing himself to do the dishes when he runs out of clean ones.

"Shit, I'm gonna be late. Fuck," Thor curses when he sees the time on his phone, his head snapping at Loki when he realizes what he said, as if _he shouldn't be cursing in front of the kid_ , before probably remembering Loki's a grown ass adult. "Anyway, I gotta go. Have a good day, kid. Good luck with your interviews," he says and ruffles Loki's hair with his hand as he walks past him, the fond gesture having Loki's insides melting.

"Have a good day, Thor," he mumbles back, earning himself a blinding grin that leaves him smiling for hours.

How is he supposed to not let himself get used to this, when he has everything he has ever wanted?

Well, almost everything.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday update 🎉😁🎈 I mean, for _my_ birthday, not Thor's or Loki's 😅 unfortunately there won't be any cake in the chapter. But you can expect thirsty Loki, a lot of awkwardness, and some Bucky😁 
> 
> Also, I realized I really suck at anything plot-related; I haven't even mentioned Thor's job. Well, I don't think it'll change anything, but anyway: he's a handyman. (His job was lowkey inspired by Ola's dad from Sex Education. Only his job, though. I think..)
> 
> Anyway!!!! ENJOY ❤️

Loki woke up in a really good mood, today. He's still in bed - it's Sunday; he's allowed to be a little lazy once in a while, even though he still works later -, listening to the water running in the bathroom as Thor showers. It almost lulls him back to sleep but surprisingly he feels well rested today. 

He has been sleeping better lately, especially since Thor started making him chamomile every night; Loki insisted that Thor didn't have to do that, but Thor is just as stubborn. Sleep still doesn't come easy, but it's definitely getting better.

It's probably, also, that he feels safer now, growing more and more relaxed and comfortable with his new living conditions, feeling less pressured to find a job and leave right away. He has started saving some money of course, since Thor pays for most things - he refuses to let Loki pay for pretty much anything - and even though the money is not much, it's very important to him; _his first savings_!

He feels quite proud of himself, even though he knows he couldn't have done that, were it not for Thor.

He shifts in the bed and nuzzles his pillow, smiling when he inhales the scent of the conditioner Thor uses. It smells nice; not exactly like Thor, but certainly like his freshly washed clothes. Loki takes another deep inhale and closes his eyes, his lips twitching up into a smile of their own accord.

Today, he doesn't want to think about the fact that he still has to get a second job or find an apartment, or that he won't be staying here for much longer.

Today, he simply wants to appreciate what he has now; a warm bed and food, hot water, his own room-

_Thor._

He smiles at the thought and his cheeks immediately heat up even though he's completely alone and no one can see him grinning like a fool.

Things have been going really well between them. At least, that's what Loki thinks. They're still slightly awkward around each other, but it's going fine. The other day Loki even joined Thor in the living room after work, instead of immediately heading to his room, and they watched a movie together.

It was nice. Loki wants them to do that again, but he avoids staying in the living room unless Thor asks him to; he doesn't want to intrude. This is still Thor's place, after all; he deserves some privacy. 

He notices he can't hear the water running anymore, which means Thor has finished and he can go shower now. He gets out of bed and grabs his towel and some clean clothes, before stepping out of the room, smiling to himself just because he feels like it; he hasn’t been in such a good mood in a long time.

He's absolutely not expecting to be greeted by a half naked Thor, just a few feet away from him. Thor is only now getting out of the bathroom, having just a towel on that hangs low on his lips, leaving his entire torso exposed.

Loki hasn't seen him like this before, never without clothes, and it makes his knees go weak now, his stomach instantly tightening with arousal. Thor is glorious; he looks strong and big and absolutely perfect with his huge shoulders and massive arms, his chest dusted with hair, its trail going all the way down Thor's soft belly and disappearing under the towel-

Loki snaps his eyes up to Thor's face when he realizes that he's been staring, his cheeks burning, probably already bright red.

"Oh. Shit," Thor curses when he sees him, looking a bit startled; if Loki's lucky enough, Thor might not even notice that his cheeks are on fire right now, the blush quickly spreading to his ears and down his neck. "Sorry, I forgot to take clothes with me. _Again_. Still not used to having someone else in the house," he says sheepishly and Loki nods, not trusting his voice right now.

Fuck.

He wants to look away but he can't bring himself to do so. He's never wanted to touch someone so bad- or to be touched by them; touched and owned and claimed.

Fuckfuck _fuck_.

Thor smiles at him and then walks to his room, and Loki gulps with difficulty as he watches the thick muscles of Thor's back, looking impressive even now that he's relaxed, his eyes falling lower on the swell of his ass under the towel, before Thor disappears inside his room.

The moment Thor is gone, Loki all but runs back to his room, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it. He tosses his things on the floor carelessly, his hand moving to his cock of its own accord.

He hasn't touched himself in so long, he feels extremely sensitive as his fingers close around the shaft. He's been stressed and sad and a total mess the past couple of months, he hardly had time to think about this.

His libido seemed to be returning since he moved in here, but every time his dick would get awaken by something - by _Thor_ ; always Thor - Loki would just ignore it, feeling like Thor would simply know what he was doing, and dying from embarrassment just at the thought of it. He almost gave in and did it in the shower once, but then he realized Thor uses it, as well, and he immediately stopped.

Now, though, he doesn't think he can muster enough self-control to stop himself.

It's just... it's been _so_ long. He _needs_ this.

He squeezes himself over his sweats, biting hard down at his lower lip to stifle the groan that almost escapes him. He can hear Thor moving in the next room and it only makes his arousal stronger, knowing that Thor is so close - and probably naked - turning him on even more.

He closes his eyes and tilts his head back against the door as he slips his hand inside his pants. He's already fully hard, the tip leaking as Loki palms himself, feeling himself throb at the touch.

It's, of course, not the first time he gets aroused just from thinking about Thor, but this feels different, his arousal too strong to let him think rationally. He could have at least waited for Thor to leave to work, but he's just too fucking desperate. He can't help it.

He starts tugging at his dick, setting a fast hard pace from the beginning, feeling too needy and aroused right now to take it slower. It's a bit dry, even though he hasn't stopped dripping precum since he touched himself, but Loki doesn't care, his mind too preoccupied with thoughts of Thor being there with him, or perhaps catching him like this, barging into Loki's room while Loki is touching himself, moaning Thor's name.

He whimpers softly and speeds up his movements, his knees threatening to give out as another wave of arousal washes over him.

He imagines Thor coming in and then taking over, pushing Loki's hands away so he's the only one touching him. Perhaps he'd even punish Loki, spank him for being a naughty boy, for shamelessly jerking off in Thor’s house while Thor is right there, in the next room.

His free hand flies to his mouth and he bites down at his palm, effectively muffling his moans as he thinks about Thor's large hand landing on his ass, first harshly in a sharp slap, and then more gently as he’d stroke the abused skin.

Perhaps Thor would be also fingering him while spanking him; Thor would have him spread over his lap, two thick long fingers inside his hole, feeling Loki clench around him greedily with every slap.

He grunts helplessly and his body tenses, needing only a few strokes after that to drive him to the edge. He can barely hold himself up as he spills his release, collapsing on the floor the moment he's done, panting heavily.

"Fuck," he breathes out and closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath-

He starts when he hears - and feels - a knock on the door, panicking and trying to hide himself before remembering Thor can't actually see him.

"Hey, I hope you didn't go back to sleep. I'm gonna make pancakes. Do you want something else? Eggs, bacon-"

"Uh, yes yes, whatever's fine," he blurts out, his voice sounding much steadier than he expected.

"Perfect. I'll just make whatever there's in the fridge," Thor says excitedly - Loki has learned during his stay here that Thor really likes cooking but he doesn't get to do so very often since he works most days - before making his way to the kitchen. Loki relaxes only when he can't hear Thor's steps anymore, letting out a relieved sigh; that could have gone much worse.

Unsurprisingly, breakfast is awkward as fuck. Probably not for Thor, but it's definitely pure torture for Loki.

He can't meet Thor's eyes and does his best to avoid them, only to blush furiously when he fails to do so. His mind keeps wandering back to Thor almost naked right before him, and even though he tries to think about literally anything else, he can't get that image out of his head.

At least if Thor sees him drooling now, he can just say it's because of the pancakes.

"Any plans for today?" Thor asks and takes a large bite of his toasted bread; Loki can't help smiling when he notices the crumbs in Thor's beard, only barely resisting reaching to brush them away.

"Uh, nothing really," he says, shrugging, turning his gaze downwards to his plate; he doesn't really have any friends, if he's honest. The few people he used to hang out with back in high school are all away at college, and during this last year he didn't really have many opportunities to make new friends- or even just meet new people. So, not having plans isn't really surprising. "I work later."

Thor nods and hums, swallowing down his bite and taking a gulp of his coffee before speaking. "Well, I'm probably gonna spend most of my day on the couch, watching movies. You're welcome to join me if you want. And I was thinking about making steak for lunch, any other suggestions?"

"I, uh, I actually don't know if I'll eat lunch here. My shift starts earlier today, so I'll probably have to leave before the food is ready. Sorry," he says apologetically, wishing he didn't have to go to work today, so he could just stay home with Thor.

"That's fine, we'll just eat lunch early. I don't mind," Thor tells him, a broad grin on his face. Loki wants to ask how the fuck they're supposed to eat lunch after all the food they've eaten for breakfast but instead he simply smiles back; he likes it when Thor includes him in his plans, even simple ones like them having lunch together. "So, what time does your shift start?"

"Well, my shift doesn't start until four, but I'll have to leave around two because I have to change two buses and I don't want to be late," Loki explains with a slight shrug; his boss is an asshole and the buses aren't very reliable, so he doesn't want to risk it.

"I'll drive you," Thor says casually and Loki's eyes widen before he can stop himself, not really expecting this.

He wants to accept Thor’s offer but Thor has already given him so much, Loki doesn't want to be greedy and ask for more.

"No no, it's fine-"

"Loki. I said I'll drive you," Thor says and this time it's not simply an offer; his voice is firmer, making it clear that he won't take no as an answer. Loki can do nothing but nod in agreement. "Good. It's not like I have anything to do, anyway," Thor tells him - Loki suspects Thor says it in order to make him feel better about it, but Loki still feels guilty, he can't help it - and gets up, starting taking the plates to the sink, and Loki follows, helping him.

"And what time do you get off?"

Loki almost drops the glasses he's holding at the last words, his cheeks heating up when flashes of himself less than an hour ago being all hard and desperate and _getting off_ to thoughts of Thor come to him.

Not what Thor means, of course!

"Uh, at- at ten usually. Unless it's too busy, then probably around eleven or so."

"Good. I'll come pick you up."

"What- Thor, no. You don't have to do that, it's fine. _Really_."

"I'll be there around ten, don't leave. Listen, I just don't like the idea of you waiting all alone for a fucking bus this late at night, okay? Just humor me."

Loki nods his head, feeling overwhelmed with emotions - good ones, mostly; emotions he's not really used to - his chest tightening. "Okay."

Thor smiles at him, satisfied, turning his attention to the dishes in the sink as he starts washing them.

It's scary- not Thor, of course; just... the way he makes Loki feel.

It terrifies Loki. This is new, and even though it reminds him of how he felt years ago every time Thor came to his old house, this is much more intense, more real somehow.

He likes this- wants it, _craves_ it, but he's afraid that when it inevitably ends like it did the last time, it would leave him even worse than it did all those years ago.

Perhaps, Loki thinks, perhaps giving in and letting himself enjoy this for as long as it lasts is worth it, even if it ends up breaking him in the end.

Loki spends every single second at work thinking about his day with Thor. He can't stop smiling, not even the rude customers managing to ruin his good mood.

This is definitely the best day he's had in a very long while, even if all they did was stay home, watch movies and eat. But they did these things together and they laughed and made stupid jokes. Loki loved it.

Even the drive to work was nice; Thor turned the radio on, so there was no awkward silence. Just them sitting there peacefully, glancing at each other from time to time and smiling. At some point Thor even started humming to the songs. It was cute.

Now Loki is basically counting down the minutes until Thor comes to pick him up; he knows it's ridiculous but he has kind of missed him.

"Hey, Loki. You there?" Bucky's voice peaks out from behind the door, his eyes searching for Loki around the kitchen.

"Huh?" Loki says, balancing a tray on his palm, as he walks towards Bucky and out of the kitchen.

"Someone's asking for you. Didn't even let me take his order."

"What- who?"

"Big, hot, total daddy, his arms are probably bigger than my head-"

"Oh!"

Bucky's eyebrows shoot up, his lips curling into a grin, looking suddenly much more interested. "So, you _do_ know him," he says and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Loki huffs, pretending to be annoyed, even as he feels his cheeks burning up.

He places the plates on the table number six and mutters an _'enjoy'_ , before turning his attention back to Bucky who's still following him.

"Shut up," he says, no heat behind his words, making Bucky's grin widen even more.

"Didn't know you were into older guys," Bucky continues and Loki's glad he's not actually carrying anything because he's quite sure he would have dropped it.

"I- I'm _not_ ," he says lamely and Bucky nods his head, obviously still completely unconvinced.

"Come on, number fifteen. Go. He's waiting," he says, apparently taking pity on Loki and deciding to not tease him any more. For now, at least.

Loki makes his way to the table, remembering way too late that his hair probably looks like shit; unfortunately there's no time to do much now because Thor's head turns towards him, their eyes meeting.

An immediate smile forms on Loki's lips and he can't help blushing, just a _little_ , when Thor mirrors it.

"My shift's not over yet," Loki says once he's close enough, cringing internally when he realizes he didn't even greet him.

"Thought I could eat something, too, since I'd come here anyway," Thor explains and Loki relaxes again, knowing that Thor won't have to wait because of him. "When are you finishing? I can wait for you so we can eat together."

"Uh, I've already eaten during my break earlier. Sorry," Loki says apologetically, regretting it right away; he could have simply said yes just to keep Thor company, no need to eat much.

Stupid!

Well, it's too late now.

"It's okay, next time," Thor says, still smiling, both his words and his expression being warm and reassuring.

Loki takes Thor's order that isn't really much of an order since all he says is _'you know what's good here, surprise me'_ , to which Loki wanted to raise his hand and tell him that he's good too, so perhaps Thor should eat him, but then he remembered his life isn't a porn film and he gave just a nod and a smile in response.

Now he does his best to avoid Bucky's gaze as he goes to the counter to give the order, not really surprised when Bucky comes to him.

"He didn't take his eyes off you while you were walking away," Bucky says, sounding quite excited. Loki can't blame him; everything seems exciting after six hours of waiting people and cleaning tables.

Loki huffs and rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the way his heart flutters at the words; Bucky is probably teasing him. "Uh huh."

"For real, dude. Pretty sure he was checking out your ass."

"No, he wasn't," Loki protests, his cheeks reddening.

"He was, trust me," Bucky tells him, nodding his head, winking at him before going back to his work, leaving a flustered Loki behind.

It's probably not true, but Loki still enjoys the thought of it. He likes the idea of him not being invisible - or just a _kid_ \- to Thor's eyes.

Not that Thor would ever like him like that, but it’s still nice to daydream about it.

Loki ends up keeping Thor company as Thor eats, after his shift ends. It's quiet and a bit awkward because Loki can feel Bucky staring at them curiously, but he can't bring himself to be mad at him. Bucky gets off work in a couple of hours and there are hardly any customers at this time of the day; he needs something to entertain himself.

"How was work?" Thor asks him after swallowing down his bite, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Not bad. It was okay," Loki says absentmindedly, being rather distracted by the way Thor's tongue peaks out to lick his lips. Loki wants to taste the salt on Thor's lips, too. "How was your day?" He asks when he remembers he actually has manners, his hands fidgeting on his lap. Sometimes it's impossible to not be nervous when Thor's eyes are on him.

"Good, boring," Thor replies, shrugging. "Napped, watched a movie, did laundry."

Loki's eyes widen at the last one even though he tries his best to look unfazed - and obviously fails miserably. His heart starts pounding and he can feel his cheeks burning.

Does that mean that Thor saw his stained boxers from earlier today?!

Loki was planning to do laundry the next morning, he wasn't expecting that Thor would beat him to it. If he had known he wouldn't have put it in the fucking laundry basket!

He's desperately trying to find something to say, to offer an excuse maybe, but he has nothing. It's not like there are many reasons why his boxers were stained with cum.

Damn it!

"Hey hey, kid, relax. Don't even worry about it, okay? It- it's completely normal-"

Loki groans in embarrassment and hides his face in his hands, resting his forehead on the cold surface of the table.

"Please, stop," he begs Thor, wishing he could just disappear before he dies from embarrassment.

"Sorry," Thor says apologetically, sounding like he truly means it. "It didn't even happen! No worries. How about we get home, huh? I'm sure you need some rest. You've gotten off, right? Gotten _off work_ , I mean. Obviously." He clears his throat awkwardly and Loki can't help chuckling now, even if his cheeks are still burning; they both are a fucking mess! "Sorry. Poor choice of words."

"It's okay. We can go," Loki says and slowly gets up, but doesn't dare to meet Thor's gaze as they head outside, even though now that Thor is embarrassed, too, it makes him feel a bit better. Still, just the thought of Thor realizing Loki was jerking off to him after the _half-naked Thor in the hallway_ incident makes Loki shudder in terror.

He tenses when Thor squeezes his shoulder, but slightly relaxes when he looks at Thor and finds a friendly smile on his face.

Well, at least Thor is trying to make this as easy for Loki as possible. Loki is honestly really grateful; perhaps he might even be able to look Thor in the eye some time soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, replying to comments on the last chapter that was all fluff, knowing what comes next:  
> [](https://ibb.co/CtZNkxC)
> 
> No okay, it's not that bad. Just a little bit of angst. That's all!  
> Enjoy!!👀🤞

Loki checks the time possibly for the hundredth time in the last half hour, letting out a deep sigh when he sees that his shift is ending in ten minutes. Hopefully he won't have to stay any longer; he's not sure he'll be able to make it, even if it's just for two more seconds.

He forces a smile on his face when the customers at a table gesture for him to go there, probably so they can pay, and he makes his way to them, hoping that he won't collapse before his fucking shift is over.

He tiredly gathers the stuff from the table after they've paid, carefully placing them on the tray before heading to the kitchen.

Just a few more minutes, he reminds himself. Just a few more minutes and he'll get to finally go home.

To say that today has been a bad day would honestly be an understatement.

Life has been going way too well - everything considered - so Loki should have probably seen this coming.

Despite him having adjusted to his new - _temporary_ , as he constantly reminds himself - life and his sleep schedule being better than usual, for some reason the last couple of days sleep didn't come easily. Quite the opposite, actually.

Especially yesterday.

He woke up twice because he was having nightmares- or more like, he was having good dreams about his mom only to wake up and realize she was gone and he was all alone, and even though he tried to go back to sleep, he gave up after the second time, deciding that it'd be better if he stayed awake.

He spent most of the night drawing until he got tired and simply lied in bed, listening to music, refusing to close his eyes, even though he was tempted to just give in and go back to sleep and enjoy the dreams, but the reality was almost unbearable after waking up, so he decided against it.

By the time he finally felt ready to emerge from his room, Thor was already leaving for work, so Loki spent the next hours completely alone with his thoughts, which was definitely _not_ fun.

He was grateful that he worked today, thinking that it would at least be a distraction and keep his mind busy, but he wasn't expecting that his day would only get worse.

He was already disappointed that he wasn't working with Bucky tonight, but he told himself that perhaps it was for the best because he wasn't in the mood to joke, or even just talk to anyone.

It all went downhill from there.

Unfortunately, the boss happened to be at the diner today and he of course didn't miss the opportunity to yell at him when Loki mixed two orders, making a whole scene about it, because apparently the whole diner had to hear how useless Loki was.

Loki was already in the verge of tears by then, so when some assholes he was trying to wait started teasing him, as if it was the most amusing thing in the world - _aw, look at him, pretty little thing got yelled by his boss, I bet he's gonna cry now, someone should comfort him don't you think, come on dude give him a hug_ \- Loki was sure he couldn't handle four more hours of this.

The only things that kept him going were that he knew if he asked to leave earlier his boss would just fire him - something he of course couldn't afford - and that Thor was picking him up at the end of his shift.

It has become their thing during this past two weeks; every time that Loki gets off late at night, Thor comes to pick him up, sometimes sitting to eat something as he waits for Loki to finish.

Tonight apparently he's not planning to eat, otherwise he would have already been there.

Loki waits the last table for today, letting out a deep breath of relief when he's finally done. He goes to the bathroom to freshen up a little - he would prefer it if Thor didn't see him looking completely like shit -, fixing his hair and splashing some water on his face, before going to grab his backpack and heading outside.

He frowns when he doesn't spot Thor's car right away; it's not like Thor to be late. Then again he might have gotten stuck in traffic or something; it'd make sense, especially on a Friday night.

He leans against the wall as he waits, checking his phone just in case Thor isn't coming today, but there's not any missed calls or texts.

So, Thor is simply late. No big deal. Even though Loki was hoping to get home as soon as possible. But he doesn't want to be ungrateful; Thor doesn't have to come pick him and yet he does. If Loki has to wait a few minutes, then it's totally fine.

Loki pulls the hood of his jacket on and stuffs his hands in his pockets as the cold air slips under his clothes, making him shiver. He could wait inside the diner, but there's no reason to; Thor will probably be here any minute now.

Loki perks up every time black pick-up trucks pass, only to be disappointed when he realizes it's not Thor's.

By the time fifteen minutes have passed, Loki is starting to get worried. He's certain that if Thor hadn't been able to come today, he would have said so, so it's not that.

Loki keeps checking his phone every few seconds, but nothing changes in the next twenty minutes; he only grows colder, shivering, his fingers starting to freeze.

He's tired and wants to go home and see Thor and talk to him. He wants this day to be over already.

When forty minutes have passed, he decides to call Thor. His heartbeat speeds up with every second that passes and Thor doesn't pick up, and by the time the call ends on its own, Loki has finally realized what is happening.

Thor isn't late. And he isn't stuck in traffic.

He simply forgot about him. Or worse, he decided that Loki wasn't worth the trouble, which makes sense, Loki supposes. It honestly took him longer than Loki expected.

Loki feels his eyes burn with tears and he wipes them angrily with his sleeves but fresh ones follow. He knows he has no right to be angry or sad, but it still hurts, even if he was expecting that this would happen sooner or later.

He makes his way to the bus stop, glad that he at least doesn't have to wait too long for it to come. He takes a seat at the back of the bus where it's mostly empty, so he can cry in peace, the few people that are there thankfully not seeming to give a fuck.

He folds his legs up and curls in on himself, wishing he was already in his bed.

Why didn't Thor tell him that he wouldn't be coming today? Loki would understand.

Thor might have had something better to do or he simply got tired of this, or anything really; Loki wouldn't have blamed him. He's not Thor's responsibility and Thor has already done for him more than he had to, but it still stings that Thor would disregard him so easily.

Perhaps it's Thor's way to say that Loki should finally start packing his stuff and leave. He can't be a guest at Thor's house forever.

So, truly, it was only a matter of time before this happened.

Loki just wishes it would have waited until tomorrow. After the day he had he needs Thor - even more than usual; needs to not feel alone, needs to feel wanted and cared for and not like he's unwelcome everywhere he goes.

But perhaps that was too much to ask after having taken so much from Thor already.

He only barely manages to get off the bus at the right stop and get on the second one, the rest of the way home being mostly a blur.

He doesn't know what he expects to happen when he gets home but finding the house empty makes Loki cry again- not that he even stopped since he left the diner.

Thor's never out this late. Did he have a date, maybe? Or went out with friends and didn't think to let Loki know, because why would he? Thor doesn't owe him anything.

Or Thor is just expecting him to be gone by the time he gets back home. Perhaps he simply doesn't like goodbyes- or he simply doesn't care enough. He did leave Loki without saying anything, all those years ago, after all.

Loki decides that it doesn't matter. Even if that's what Thor's hoping - that Loki would start packing the moment he's home from work - Loki doesn't have the energy do so, right now, even if he wanted to. 

So, Loki simply takes a quick shower - only barely managing to convince himself to not go to sleep with the clothes he's wearing - and then goes to bed.

He feels slightly better, the hot water having helped him relax and clear his thoughts a little.

He's probably overreacting; Thor wouldn't just throw him out, would he?

Thor is good.

Thor cares about him.

Still, when he agreed to let Loki stay at his house he didn't sign up for this. It was supposed to be only for a few days and it's been weeks since then.

Loki lets the silent tears fall, doesn't bother wiping them as they land on his pillow, forming a wet spot there.

He just doesn't want to be alone and he's afraid and he really doesn't want to have to leave Thor. It's not simply about not having anywhere else to go anymore; it's more than that. Even if he had other options, Loki knows it would still not be easy for him to leave Thor.

His eyes flutter open - he didn't even realize he closed them - when he hears the front door open and he quickly wipes his eyes and cheeks, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand to blow his nose, wanting to look somewhat normal in case Thor comes in.

Which apparently Thor isn't planning to do.

Loki hears his steps on the hallway and then the bathroom door opens and closes and soon after the sound of the shower water running comes.

So, Thor doesn't even want to know whether or not Loki arrived home safe.

That's great.

Absolutely fucking perfect.

Perhaps he overestimated how much Thor cares about him.

Loki knew it was too good to be true.

He spends the next minutes lost in his thoughts, hoping that exhaustion soon catches up with him so he can fall asleep.

He almost doesn't hear the soft knock on the door, the words following spoken in a voice just as soft and quiet.

"Loki? Are you sleeping? Can I come in?"

Loki considers for a moment staying silent and not replying, pretending to be sleeping, but in the end he decides to answer, even if he ends up regretting it.

"Yeah, come in," he says, grimacing when his voice comes out hoarse. He's at least thankful that he has turned the lights off, leaving only the lamp from the desk on. If he's lucky enough perhaps Thor won't even notice how terrible he looks.

"Hey," Thor greets him, smiling, standing at the frame of the door as if he doesn't want to invade Loki's private space. "You got home alright?

Loki nods hesitantly, trying to understand what the fuck Thor's deal is; first he completely ignores Loki and now he pretends he cares and worries about him. _Why?_

"Good. I'm sorry I didn't come to pick you up. A pipe burst and had to get fixed today; it was a fucking mess, there was water everywhere. The pipe had probably started leaking hours before they called," Thor says, grimacing as he thinks about it.

Loki nods again; he doesn't know what to say and he isn't really in the mood to talk- not even with Thor. He doesn't like that Thor is acting like everything is fine. He's certainly relieved that it was Thor's work that kept him from coming to pick him up and that Thor is alright, but Thor could have at least let him know.

"Anyway. It's all good now," Thor says, sounding a bit awkward, Loki's silence probably not helping much. "I didn't expect that it'd take so fucking long. That's why I texted you so late. Sorry."

Loki's frown deepens now, wondering if Thor's mocking him. "You didn't text me."

"What- yes I did. On that app you showed me," Thor tells him and Loki shakes his head.

It's Thor's turn to frown now and he grabs his phone from the front right pocket of his sweats, opening the app and handing it to Loki. "See? Here."

Loki sits up on his bed and accepts the phone, ready to prove Thor wrong.

There's indeed a message from Thor to him and the time says 8:52 - more than an hour before Loki's shifts ended - but it's not sent or delivered.

A giggle escapes Loki when he realizes what has happened and it's probably the first time he smiles today and he doesn't have to fake it.

" _Thor._ You forgot to turn your data on again," he says, trying to scold Thor, but it's quite hard when he can't stop giggling.

_Thor didn't forget him!_

"Oh," Thor mumbles sheepishly and Loki swears his cheeks turn a bit red. "Well, fuck. I'm sorry, kid. I hope you didn't wait for too long," he says and comes to sit on the edge of Loki's bed on Loki's feet, guilt written all over his features.

"No no, it's fine," he says and it truly is fine. Because Thor didn't just stop giving a shit about him. He actually wanted to come and he even tried to text him- even if he failed in the end.

"You okay? You don't look very well. How was your day at work?" Thor asks him and his hand comes to rest on Loki's ankle, stroking it with his thumb over the blanket.

"Fucking awful," he says earnestly and Thor gives him a sympathetic smile, gently squeezing his ankle.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, not really," he says apologetically; it's not that he doesn't trust Thor or doesn't want to talk to him, but he's feeling better now and he would rather not talk about his shitty day.

Thor nods, doesn't pressure him. Loki expects him to leave but Thor stays there, his large hand loosely wrapped around Loki's ankle, like he's trying to decide what to do now.

He opens his mouth as if to say something only to close it again and Loki waits patiently, not sure if he should be afraid of what will follow or not.

"Want me to stroke your hair until you fall asleep?"

Oh.

Loki just stares at Thor for a few moments and blinks slowly, definitely not prepared to hear that. He's not sure if he should say yes or no, or if Thor simply offered out of politeness, but he knows that he definitely wants this and he decides that there's no reason to not indulge himself. He deserves something nice after the day he had, doesn't he?

"Yes, please," he says and Thor smiles at him, shifting on the bed so he's sitting with his back against the headboard. He pats his thigh and Loki obeys, lying down with his head on Thor's lap, smiling when Thor pulls the blanket up to cover him.

"My mom used to do this when I was a kid and I had a bad day. It always made me feel better and helped me sleep," Thor tells him and Loki hums, shivering when Thor starts brushing his fingers through his hair.

He tugs at the blanket and spreads it over Thor's legs as well, snuggling closer to him.

Thor chuckles, the sound so fond that makes Loki's heart flutter happily in his chest. "Thank you."

Thor is warm next to him and smells really nice, making Loki want to wrap himself around him, or maybe to have Thor envelope him in his huge arms. He also wants to keep his eyes open, perhaps to talk a bit more with Thor, but this feels very good and relaxing and his eyes drop closed before long, so he settles for simply enjoying this.

It feels really nice to be touched, especially so gently and with care, Thor’s fingers brushing softly over his ear and his neck as Thor caresses his hair. Loki feels himself melting under Thor's hand and for a moment he allows himself to think about how it would be if he had Thor's hands on the rest of his body as well, making him feel loved and desired and cherished.

It's almost like the shitty day he had was weeks ago; like he wasn’t crying less than half an hour earlier. He feels slightly bad for thinking that Thor could be so cruel, when Thor has been nothing but nice to him.

"I'm sorry I made you wait, today. I was hoping I would've finished by that time, but... "

"It's okay," Loki whispers, already half asleep. "You're always so nice to me. I really like it," he mumbles, the words coming out a bit slurred as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

"You deserve this, baby; this and so much more," Thor says and Loki's heart skips a beat at the pet name; Thor used to call him that years ago; it always made Loki smile and blush.

Just like it did now, too.

Perhaps he's already asleep and dreaming, Loki thinks, not that it really matters right now. Because he's home, in his bed, warm and comfortable, and _Thor_ is here, being nice and sweet and caring.

It's already more than Loki could have ever imagined having.


	7. Chapter 7

A low voice manages to wake Loki, but his mind is still foggy with sleep, not able to focus on the words just yet.

He should probably open his eyes and answer - or is the person not talking to him? He's not sure - but he feels warm and comfortable and safe. It's really nice.

He clings harder to the body next to him, arm and leg thrown over it, relishing how its heat seeps through his clothes, spreading over his skin.

It feels so good to be held.

"Loki," the voice tries again, this time the words reaching Loki's ears, sounding clearer. "Loki, sweetheart, can you let me get up, please," Thor says softly and Loki mumbles something incoherent, tightening his hold around Thor.

Why doesn't Thor want to just stay?

"I have to go to work, baby. And I can't do that if you don't let me get up," he says patiently, running his fingers through Loki's hair, caressing it.

Loki melts against him, slightly shifting, all but sprawling himself over Thor.

Thor smells so good and his voice is low and raspy - even more than usual - and Loki just wants to stay there forever.

He wishes Thor would slip his hands beneath his pajamas and stroke his back; he bets Thor's rough hands would feel so good against his skin.

A jolt of arousal caused by that thought is what truly wakes him at last, suddenly the proximity of their bodies becoming dangerous instead of comforting; because this shouldn't be happening, because he and Thor don't share a bed, they don't sleep together and they definitely don't cuddle like this.

Loki moves quickly before he thinks much about it, not managing to go far away with the blanket covering them restricting his movements. He only manages to basically climb off Thor, who hurriedly reaches to grab Loki, probably afraid that Loki will throw himself out of the bed; it's not impossible, if Loki's honest.

"Hey, easy," Thor says calmly and smiles at him when Loki meets his eyes.

"Sorry," he murmurs sheepishly, his cheeks turning bright red when he thinks how he was clinging to Thor only seconds ago.

"It's okay. I'm the one that fell asleep in your bed," Thor tells him and reaches to smooth a black strand of hair back, away from Loki's face, brushing his thumb over Loki's heated cheek, the gesture so obviously fond that Loki feels like his heart has almost stopped beating for a moment. This is too much and yet Loki can’t help but long for more. "You should go back to sleep. It's still early."

Loki nods and watches as Thor starts to get up, not expecting him to lean in and place a tender kiss on his forehead, before climbing off the bed. Loki's lips part in surprise and his heart gives a happy flutter in his chest, even if he wishes Thor would have just stayed in bed with him.

Still, he feels all warm and fuzzy inside and he doesn't fight the stupid wide grin that makes its way to his face.

He already misses Thor's warmth beside him and the moment Thor is out of his room and the door clicks close, Loki grabs the pillow and buries his face into it, breathing Thor's scent in. He lets out a happy squeal - that's thankfully muffled by the pillow - and sighs, feeling too giddy to go back to sleep.

Loki can't help but wonder why Thor did that - the kiss was so sweet, so full with affection - and he brushes his fingertips over his forehead, right where Thor's lips were a minute ago.

He hugs the pillow tight against himself, his face still pressed into it.

He feels so happy right now that he can't even bring himself to be embarrassed about wrapping himself around Thor and not letting him go.

He has never fallen asleep like this, cuddling with someone - not until now, that is - and even though it's been only a couple of minutes since Thor got up, Loki's already missing this. Especially because he knows it probably won't happen again.

He tries not to think about that right now. It might be the truth but Loki allows himself to ignore it for now.

With going back to sleep out of the question, Loki considers joining Thor for breakfast but he decides against it. He would like to continue living in his happy little bubble for a bit longer.

So, he grabs his sketching book instead and lies on the bed on his stomach, drawing whatever he feels like, as his mind wanders to the night before and earlier this morning.

There were a couple of hours yesterday that Loki was truly convinced Thor got tired of him, that he would soon be thrown out, but he knows now that Thor would never do that; there's no doubt about it.

Not after Thor offered to help him sleep, stroking his hair instead of going to his own bed to rest after a long day at work. He put Loki first - even before himself - as if Loki having a bad day is truly that important to him. And then this morning...

Thor was so sweet, brushing Loki's hair away gently and touching his cheek, kissing his forehead.

Loki only wishes he had woken up before Thor so he could enjoy being held and embraced in his arms. It makes him sad thinking that he might never get to know how it felt and his heart aches for it, but it's not exactly a bad kind of aching. Because, despite everything else, Loki is glad he got to have this, even just once.

Now, he only hopes he's not too awkward around Thor; it'll definitely help if Thor continues to be as sweet as he was earlier this morning; Loki will probably end up blushing and terribly flustered, but it'll all be worth it.

**

Unfortunately, there are no more cuddles during the next few days.

But all in all, things are going extremely well.

Thor is nice and makes him breakfast, he smiles at him and makes silly jokes that still manage to make Loki laugh, he picks him up from work most nights, he ruffles Loki's hair playfully, wishing him a good day every morning before leaving for work.

Loki loves all of this even if he, deep inside him, craves for something different. 

Still, it's perfect.

That's why he's not exactly happy when he finds an apartment he can afford. He hasn’t stopped searching all this time, but if he's honest he wasn't expecting to find something so soon. He'll have to share it with three other guys but from what he's told by the guy he talked with on the phone the apartment is quite big, so it won't be uncomfortable. Loki doesn't really care about its size, anyway; he only needs a small room with a bed in it and he's satisfied.

Still, he knows there's no way he'll ever feel as safe as he does now that he lives with Thor.

Just the thought of having to share an apartment with three other guys makes him anxious. It reminds him of the days back at his old home, when four, maybe five, - some days even more than that - men would come one after the other every day, the house feeling safe only when it was only he and his mom- and sometimes not even then.

But since he has failed to find a second job so far and he can't afford anything else, he can't just pass on this opportunity. It might not be perfect but Loki is sure he'll get used to it eventually.

He's pulled out of his thoughts when he hears someone speaking to him, turning his head to see no other than Bucky.

"Didn't you eat like an hour ago or so?" He asks curiously and motions to the paper bag Loki's carrying; Loki is sure Bucky already knows this isn't for him and he simply enjoys being a little shit.

"Are you stalking me now?"

Bucky rolls his eyes, letting out an unimpressed huff. "You literally asked me to bring you the ketchup while you were stuffing your mouth with fries and then almost stabbed me when I reached to take one of them!"

Loki chuckles at that and offers him a sheepish smile; he just was really hungry! "It's not for me. It's for Thor."

"Ahh. _Thor_ ," Bucky says, now smirking, his eyebrows rising suggestively. "So, are you two boning yet or-"

"Goodnight, Bucky!" Loki interrupts him immediately, sending him a glare that only makes Bucky chuckle.

"Hope he enjoys the _meal_ ," he says and winks at him, making Loki walk faster, desperate to leave the diner before Bucky says anything else. His cheeks are red enough as they are.

Even though, he would be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy Bucky's teasing. Bucky is the closest thing he has to a friend, after all.

He's still smiling as he heads to the bus stop, even though he knows the night that'll follow unfortunately won't be as fun as Bucky so obviously suggested. He has to tell Thor about the apartment he found, which will probably be good news for him, but it still makes Loki sad, knowing that he'll have to leave soon.

He can only hope Thor doesn't look too happy about it. He'd like to think that Thor has grown to enjoy his company even just a little bit after all this time.

The bus ride home passes fast enough, the road mostly empty like it usually is on Wednesday nights.

Loki told Thor to not come to pick him up tonight, since he would get off work earlier. Thor protested at first, saying that it was no trouble, but Loki insisted. Thor has been coming home quite late this past week, looking absolutely exhausted; he deserves some rest.

Loki can hear the sound of the TV coming from the living room as he steps inside the apartment and a sad smile makes its way to his face; it truly feels like home.

Loki will miss it.

He kicks off his shoes and heads to the living room, Thor's head already turned towards the door, apparently having heard him getting in.

"Hey," he greets Thor, his smile growing broader when Thor grins at him, looking genuinely happy to see him.

"Hey, you're home early. How was work? You didn't have to wait long for the bus to come, did you? Otherwise you could have called-"

Loki giggles - he likes it when Thor seems to be worried about him -, interrupting Thor as he speaks. "Work was fine and no, I didn't have to wait long," he reassures Thor, who nods, now satisfied. "I brought you dinner by the way," Loki says, now a bit shyly, hoping that Thor will appreciate the gesture.

"Oh, I've actually already eaten dinner-" Thor starts and Loki's smile falls before he can stop it. He just wanted to do something nice for Thor for once - not that a burger and some fries are nearly enough of a thank you for all Thor has done for him - but he can't even fucking do that! "Hey, it's okay. I can eat it tomorrow."

"I brought that huge burger you like," Loki mumbles and pouts; he doesn't know why he was so excited for this. It felt nice to be the one that takes care of Thor for a change, even if that was simply bringing him dinner from the diner.

"I'll just eat it tomorrow, sweetheart. You know me, I don't mind, it's fine. Thank you," Thor says earnestly and it's enough to bring Loki's smile back to his face- because how could it not!

_Sweetheart_

"How about you go take a shower, change in something more comfortable, and then we watch a movie? I'll make pop corn," Thor says and Loki nods eagerly, happy to spend as much time with Thor as he can, especially now that he knows he won't be staying here for much longer.

Loki showers quickly and puts on something comfortable, before heading to the living room. Thor is sitting on the couch, a large bowl of pop corn placed on the small table in front of him. He smiles when he sees Loki and pats the empty space beside him on the couch in an invitation.

"Come on," he says, already reaching for the pop corn. "What do you feel like watching? Comedy, action, horror?"

"Whatever is fine. I don't mind," he says and takes a seat on the couch, resisting sitting closer to Thor even though he'd love to just snuggle up to him.

"You always let me choose," Thor says but doesn't insist on Loki picking something, which Loki is grateful for. He really doesn't mind; he just likes spending time with Thor.

Thor is about to start the movie he decided they'll watch - drama, mystery he said - when Loki remembers he was supposed to talk to him first. He tries to find a way to start the conversation, contemplating on how he should say it, whether he should be looking excited or not; he definitely isn't.

The movie starts and Thor relaxes back into the couch, offering pop corn to Loki who shakes his head. Thor nods and places the bowl on his lap, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, his cheeks bulging as he chews.

It's adorable; Loki will miss this - will miss _Thor_ \- so fucking much.

"I found an apartment," he blurts out and watches as Thor's head turns toward him, an unreadable expression on his face as he processes Loki's words.

"What?" Thor asks and reaches for the remote control to pause the movie, placing the popcorn bowl back onto the table, his attention now fully focused on Loki.

"I found an apartment- well, kinda. I still have to meet with them, but... yeah. I'll be sharing the apartment with three other guys, but they said the apartment is rather big and it's not like I can afford something else with my job and it's definitely better than nothing," Loki says, shrugging, for some reason feeling the need to explain himself; perhaps he's simply trying to convince himself that this is for the best.

Thor nods his head slowly, his eyebrows drawn together in a deep frown. "Is that what you want?"

_No._

"Yeah. I mean... yes, it is," he says, trying to sound determined but he's certain it doesn't come out very convincing.

"Loki," Thor says, as if gently scolding him for lying.

Loki sighs, his gaze shifting downwards, on the fidgeting hands on his lap, not able to bear Thor's intense gaze.

"I can't live here forever, Thor. When I came here to ask you for help it was supposed to be only for a few days and now it's been more than a month. I feel like I'm taking advantage of your kindness," he says quietly, trying not to sound too sad; he knew this would happen. He should just be grateful it even lasted so long.

"Loki, baby, look at me," Thor says, voice firm but gentle, and Loki starts when he feels a large palm cupping his face, encouraging him to tilt his head up and meet his gaze. Thor speaks again only when their eyes meet. "You're not taking advantage of anything, sweetheart, okay? You asked for my help and I offered it to you, and I'd be glad to let you stay here for as long as you need to. And, to be honest, I don't really like the thought of you living with three strangers," Thor tells him and strokes his cheek affectionately before his hand drifts lower, holding the side of Loki's neck in a comforting gesture.

"Listen, I'll understand if you decide that this is what you want and I’ll respect your decision of course, but if you're only doing this because you think I want you to leave, then don't. You don't have to."

Loki stays quiet for several moments, feeling overwhelmed, trying to process everything Thor has said. He wasn't expecting this reaction; he thought Thor would be relieved that Loki is finally leaving, but he was obviously wrong. 

"I don't wanna leave," he whispers and Thor smiles at him and easily gathers him in his arms, kissing the top of his head.

"Then you won't leave. I don't want you to worry about this, okay, kid? You can stay here for as long as you want," Thor tells him and Loki nods, relaxing in Thor's embrace, allowing himself to be held.

"Why are you so nice to me? You don't have to," he says after a while, but doesn't pull away and Thor doesn't remove his arms around him either.

"Yes, but I want to. I've told you before, Loki, you deserve this and so much more," Thor says and slightly tightens his hold around him. Loki wants to protest but he decides it doesn't matter whether it's true or not; it's enough that Thor seems to think so.

They stay like for a bit longer until Loki reluctantly pulls away, sure that this can't be very comfortable for Thor.

"Do you still wanna watch the movie?" He asks hopefully and Thor nods, offering him a smile.

"Yeah, come on. We still have to finish the popcorn!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably the least fun chapter to write. It has too much talking 🙄 but we're getting somewhere 👀👀 
> 
> ALSO, TO ANYONE COMMENTING/BOOKMARKING/LEAVING KUDOS THANK YOU SO MUCH, IT MEANS A LOT TO KNOW PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING THIS FIC💖💖💖💖💖

The movie is definitely not the best Loki has watched, but he doesn't think he has ever enjoyed a movie this much before. They've stayed like this, pressed together, during it, their hands brushing against each other every time they both reach for the popcorn on Thor's lap.

After they finish eating, Loki dares to rest his head against Thor's shoulder, and Thor looks at him, smiles fondly and wraps an arm around him, gently squeezing his shoulder.

Loki really likes this and he would love for it to last forever if possible, but Thor is working tomorrow morning so he knows that he'll probably have to head to bed soon, which means they'll go on their separate ways. It reminds him a little of all those times years ago when Thor would visit and spend some time with him after he and his mom were done, always leaving way too soon for Loki's liking.

"Thor. Can I ask you something?" He says, before he can stop himself, just as the movie ends and the credits start.

"Mhm. What is it?" Thor asks, his voice relaxed, maybe a bit sleepy too.

"It's just... I was wondering," Loki starts, swallowing nervously and trying his best to muster the courage to ask his question, before he chickens out. "Why... why didn't you come back?"

"What- when?"

"Eight years ago, when you stopped coming... You never said goodbye," he explains quietly, grateful that Thor doesn't pull away or withdraw his arm; it feels easier to talk about this without having to look Thor in the eyes and while tucked under his arm.

Thor hums, staying silent for several seconds, his fingers idly stroking Loki's arm. Loki is starting to think that he won't get an answer when Thor speaks at last.

"I, uh, I had met someone," he says and Loki nods his head once; he was suspecting as much. For several years Loki had been worried that something had happened to Thor, but he grew up eventually and it wasn't hard to guess why someone would suddenly stop visiting a hooker. Still, he had expected that Thor would have at least let him know. Which might be a bit ridiculous, considering that Loki was just a kid back then; he probably wouldn’t have understood, anyway.

"I didn't mean to disappear like that. I met Jane and the next weeks just passed before I noticed- it was that enthusiasm and excitement when you first meet someone and really like them and only want to be with them, no time for anything else, you know-" _no, not really_ , Loki wants to say but keeps his mouth shut and lets Thor talk. "For weeks it was just work and Jane. By the time I thought that perhaps I should've called, or visited one last time, more than two months had passed. And well, I kinda figured that it didn't matter by then, it was already too late."

"I was still hoping that you'd show up, even months later," Loki whispers. It's not that he wants to make Thor feel bad, but it's the truth; more than a year had to pass for Loki to start accepting that Thor isn't coming back.

"Oh, aw baby, I'm so sorry," Thor says immediately and squeezes him in his hold, pressing his lips on the top of Loki's head.

"It's okay now," Loki says and he means; how can it be anything but okay when Thor is with him now, holding him like this, so tenderly! "What happened with Jane?" He asks curiously, wanting to know more about her - she took Thor away from him, after all -, about Thor's life.

"Well... it was going really well, I had even started thinking about finally settling down, so after almost a year of dating we decided it was time to try and live together. We didn't even last a month," Thor says, his voice casual, even a bit amused; it's obviously not something that pains him still. Loki can't help smiling to himself, feeling selfishly happy; he has been living with Thor for a little more than five weeks and everything is going quite well! Not that it's the same thing, but still!

"So, that was it. The enthusiasm was gone and even the excitement that we would be living together was short-lived. But at least we broke up amicably. I still speak with her from time to time," Thor says and Loki nods, not sure what he should reply.

He still believes he deserved at least a goodbye, a chance to give Thor the drawing maybe-

Oh.

Well, he has that chance now, doesn't he?

"I'd made you a drawing," he blurts out and pulls away so he can look at Thor.

"Hm?"

"Back then, eight years ago. I wanted to give it to you but I didn't know if you'd like it and well, when I finally decided to do it, you never came back...» he says, trailing off a bit awkwardly.

"Oh. Any chance you still have it?"

"I do," he replies, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"Can I see it? If you don't mind, of course," Thor asks in a gentle voice, probably wanting to make sure that Loki knows he can refuse.

But Loki lets himself nod his assent before he can think about it, already getting up.

"Just a second," he says and heads to his room before Thor even gets to say anything.

He grabs the sketch from inside his old drawing book, taking a moment to look at it, and he can't help grimacing a little; he remembered it being much better. And then there's also the _Love, Loki♡_ on the bottom of the page that makes his cheeks heat up; perhaps Thor won't notice. In his defense, he was eleven at the time.

He takes a deep sigh and makes his way back to the living room, not wanting to make Thor wait.

Loki feels both nervous and giddy as he finally, years later, hands the drawing to Thor. He wants to look away, slightly afraid of Thor's reaction but he finds that he can't take his eyes away.

And he's very glad he doesn't.

Thor's face splits into a grin and his expression turns into one of awe and wonder.

It makes Loki bite down at his lower lip, trying to fight the huge, silly smile that makes its way to his face.

"Loki! This is amazing! Look at this!" Thor says, his enthusiasm and compliments sounding genuine, making Loki blush.

"It's not that good..." he mumbles, shrugging; he wants to tell Thor that he's gotten much better since then and perhaps he could draw him again, but Thor seems to already love this, so Loki doesn't say anything else.

"It _is_ good, sweetheart. It's perfect. Can I keep it? It's okay if you say no, of course. I should have come to get this years ago."

Loki thinks about it for a few seconds, because even if this was made for Thor, it has been with Loki for years. He'll miss it but he decides he wants Thor to have this; that's what his eleven-year-old self would want.

"No no, you can keep it," he says, smiling softly at Thor; this isn't how he was expecting this night to go, but he's very glad to be proven wrong.

"Thank you. Do you still like to draw? I'd love to see some of your drawings if that's okay with you," Thor tells him, taking him by surprise.

His drawings always felt as something very personal to him and he usually avoids showing them to anyone but, strangely enough, Loki feels comfortable with Thor, wants to show him everything.

He agrees and heads to his room to retreat his sketch book, handing it only a bit hesitantly to Thor when he goes back to the living room.

His drawings consist mostly of abstract sketches, some landscapes maybe, but not much more and it makes him quite nervous; he doubts Thor will find them that interesting.

He sits next to Thor as Thor flips through the pages, pausing at each one to take a better look of it. It's strange how Loki can tell how he was feeling at the time of the sketches just by looking at them. He wonders if Thor can tell, as well.

"These are beautiful, Loki," Thor tells him, his eyes still glued to the drawings, and Loki basks in the praise, so relieved and happy that Thor likes them. He scoots a bit closer, pressing himself to Thor's side, looking at the drawings too.

"Oh! Is this the building right across the street?" Thor asks enthusiastically and Loki chuckles, nodding.

"Mhm. I can see it from the window in my- in the guest room," he says, hoping that Thor didn't notice his slip up. He's still a guest here, he reminds himself, even if Thor keeps telling him to stay for as long as he wants.

"It's amazing, Loki- _you_ 're amazing," he says, generously offering more praise, completely causally, as if it doesn't make Loki weak at the knees and his heart pound excitedly in his chest, and Loki is grateful that Thor is still looking at the drawings and can't see him blushing bright red from all his compliments.

They're looking at the last of his sketches now, the ones he drew during the last few weeks, and Thor pauses at one of them, observing it for a bit longer than the rest of them.

He gently brushes the tip of his finger over the page, humming quietly. "This looks happier," he comments and Loki's heart skips a beat at the words; he wasn't expecting Thor to notice.

"It's from last week." _After that night we fell asleep together_. He doesn't say that, of course. He wonders if Thor suspects it. Loki's not sure whether he wants him to or not.

Thor turns to look at him, offering him a warm smile, before returning his gaze to the book, looking at the last - mostly unfinished - drawings.

"I had no idea that you were so good, Loki. These are incredible! You're really talented," Thor tells him once he's finished and Loki is tempted to tell him to shut up, not sure he can handle any more compliments tonight, but he just beams at him, smiling shyly.

"Thank you," he says, a bit awkwardly, not exactly used to receiving praise. It makes him feel slightly uncomfortable, but he craves for more of it.

"And thank you for sharing this with me," Thor says, making Loki's poor little heart flutter for the tenth time in the last hours. Thor understands him, knows this is important to him; he even thanked him!

Loki feels happy, his heart too full in his chest, almost giddy with emotions after having Thor all to himself for the whole evening.

So, he doesn't really think much about it, before speaking his next words. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

It makes Thor freeze completely and he looks startled, a strange expression on his face as if he'd rather be anywhere but there right now. Loki doesn't understand; he didn't seem to mind it when he fell asleep in Loki's bed-

"Oh, _nonono_ , I meant, just- just _sleep_! Like the other day. I didn't mean... never mind," he sighs and refuses to meet Thor's eyes again, reaching to take his sketching book and disappear in his room. Preferably, forever.

He quickly gets up and is ready to leave, when a hand wraps around his wrist, stopping him.

"But how about we sleep in my room this time? My bed is bigger, we'll be more comfortable," Thor says and Loki parts his lips in surprise.

He thought he had ruined everything but he was, thankfully, wrong! _Again_. He really loves being wrong, lately.

He lets out a small, relieved sigh, resisting arguing that they don't need a bigger bed. Loki wants to be snuggled up close to Thor!

But he's not ungrateful. Just the fact that Thor agreed to this is already too much and more than he was expecting.

He nods eagerly at Thor, smiling widely.

"Okay, go grab your pillow, then," Thor tells him with a smile of his own and Loki is more than happy to do as he's told.

He quickly brushes his teeth and then grabs his pillow from his room, before going to Thor's. He eyes the bed - it is indeed big -, hugging his pillow against his chest, as he waits for Thor to join him.

He glances around the room curiously, taking in any details he hasn't noticed before. He's only been in there to leave Thor's clean clothes on the bed after doing laundry, never staying longer than necessary, not wanting to invade Thor's privacy.

He turns his attention towards the door when he hears Thor approach, trying not to look too awkward as he simply stands there in the middle of the room.

"Everything okay? Did you change your mind?" Thor asks when he sees him, as if that's even a possibility!

"No no, just wanted to ask you which side you usually sleep on."

"Oh. I kinda sleep all over it. Haven't really shared a bed with anyone in a long while," Thor says and shrugs, making warmth flood Loki's chest; this feels even more special now. "You can pick whichever side you want."

Loki nods and climbs onto the left side of the bed, just like they lay when they slept in his room. He slips under the blanket and gets comfortable, the bed dipping as Thor joins him right after.

Even though he's perfectly warm under the blanket, Loki realizes he's shivering, not able to soothe his excitement and nervousness. It might not be the first time he's sharing a bed with Thor, but last time it was an accident. It feels much more important now.

"Hey," Thor says softly and reaches to touch his shoulder, a small frown on his face. "Are you okay? Are you cold?"

"No no, I'm fine."

"Yeah?" Thor asks, squeezing slightly his shoulder.

"Mhm. Let's go to sleep," Loki says even though he feels quite restless, like something is missing; that doesn't mean he has to keep Thor awake, as well.

They fall silent after they bid each other goodnight, but Loki's eyes stay wide open, glancing hesitantly towards Thor.

So much happened tonight; Thor told him he can stay for however long he'd like to, that he doesn't mind having Loki around, he was even worried about Loki living with people he didn't know. Then there was the snuggling on the couch and the talk they finally had about all those years ago, and of course the drawings.

Thor looked so amazed, showering Loki with compliments and offering him soft smiles. It makes Loki's stomach tighten in the best way as he thinks about it.

And now... now he wants to be closer to Thor, wants Thor to hold him and touch him.

"Thor?" He whispers and waits for a reply, hoping that Thor isn't already asleep- or even worse that he was and Loki managed to wake him up.

"Hm?" Comes the answer a moment later, Thor's eyes slowly croaking open.

"I- I know it's supposed to be just for the bad days, but could you maybe pet my hair? Just for a little bit."

Thor chuckles fondly at the request and thankfully doesn't sound upset about Loki bothering him while he's trying to sleep. "Yeah, come here," he says and turns to his side, so they're facing each other.

Loki grins and goes to him, telling himself that he won't lie too close to Thor, but his body moves of its own accord. He presses himself to Thor's body and nestles his head under his chin, humming contently.

"Is this okay?"

"Yeah, baby, it's perfect," Thor murmurs and Loki refrains himself from squealing at the pet name and lets himself relax into Thor's touch instead.

Thor caresses his hair, thick fingers sliding through it, gently massaging Loki's scalp, eliciting a satisfied sigh from him.

“I’m sorry I left like that all those years ago. I shouldn’t have. I really cared about you, Loki - and I care about you now, of course - I just…” Thor trails off and lets out a quiet, defeated sigh. “I guess, I was just a selfish asshole and didn’t think how my actions would affect you.”

“Thor, _no_! You weren’t a selfish asshole! You were always really nice to me,” Loki says immediately, because it’s still the truth, despite Thor leaving like that. 

Thor chuckles, presses an affectionate kiss to his hair. “You don’t have to defend me, Loki. I just want you to know I’m sorry and I’m really glad you’re here now.”

The words make warmth bloom in Loki’s belly and he smiles, feels like a burden has been lifted off his chest. It’s good to hear that his feelings all these years weren’t completely irrational. Many times, he has felt stupid for being mad at Thor, thinking that he didn’t have the right to feel this way. But now, hearing Thor acknowledge this and even apologize makes him believe that his feelings were valid, that he wasn’t imagining things when he thought Thor cared about him.

“I’m glad I’m here, too,” Loki says softly and nuzzles Thor’s chest, humming contently as Thor resumes stroking his hair.

He feels good, lighter in a way, and slowly his body grows pliant in Thor's arms. He feels completely relaxed, happy to be surrounded by Thor's warmth and scent.

He wraps an arm around Thor's waist and slips his feet between Thor's calves, the smile staying on his lips even as his eyelids grow heavy with sleep, eventually dropping closed.

He wants to stay awake for a bit longer, certain that there's no way his dreams will be better than this right now, but he can't fight it for long, soon falling asleep, lulled by Thor's steady heartbeat.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki hums absentmindedly as Thor reads the ingredients they need for the cake, glad that Thor is busy with the recipe to notice him staring. Thor looks so handsome today- well, he always does but sometimes it's honestly still too much for Loki to handle, despite seeing Thor literally every day for the last two months.

Even now, wearing a grey, worn, old t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, Thor looks so unfairly good. Especially because this feels so domestic and nice, and seeing Thor in comfortable clothes makes it even more intimate; Loki's heart can barely take it!

He's glad he suggested they do this; at first he was hesitant, slightly afraid that Thor would say no, but thankfully Thor seemed rather excited when Loki asked him if they could bake a cake together.

After a lot of consideration, they decided to make a red velvet cake, and this morning seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Thor isn't working today and Loki got the day off; spending a whole day with Thor sounded too good for him to miss it and thankfully Bucky was willing to cover in for him- not without teasing him first, of course.

So, now, here they are, gathering all the ingredients before they can start making their cake. They had to go to the grocery store first because they didn't even have half of them, but now they're almost ready.

Loki grins when he notices Thor frown in concentration as he counts the eggs, a triumphant expression appearing on his face when he sees that they have more than enough.

Loki lets his mind wander off as Thor continues with the preparations, and he thinks about the last couple of weeks, about how well everything is going, about how comfortable he has come to feel around Thor.

It's been two months since he came to Thor for help but it feels like he's been living with Thor forever.

Since that night they slept together in Thor's bed for the first time, Loki hasn't slept in his own room. The night after that, Loki went to take his pillow, which was still on Thor's bed, not expecting Thor to tell him to stay. After that, it just happened.

Neither questions it. It's just how it is.

They share a bed, they cook and go to the grocery store together, they watch movies and talk and laugh.

It's perfect.

Loki's favorite thing is to wake up with Thor next to him. He thought sleeping with Thor was nice, but waking up in Thor's arms, enveloped in his warmth, with Thor's hand absently stroking his sides and touching bare skin wherever his pajama top has ridden up, is even better. And then there's also Thor's deep voice that's even rougher after he has just woken up and the sleepy, affectionate smile he always has on his face when he says good morning to him.

It makes the butterflies in Loki's stomach - _yes_ , butterflies; Loki has accepted their existence - flutter excitedly, and it makes him want to kiss Thor. He, of course, ignores the last one, trying to be content with simply sleeping with Thor and spending time with him. It's already more than Loki had ever imagined he could have.

"Okay, I think we're ready," Thor says, pulling him out of his thoughts, and Loki nods and meets his gaze, waiting for instructions; he knows how to cook, but he hasn't made a cake before; there was no time when he had to work, take care of his mom and cook lunch. He's quite excited about this.

"We should probably start with the cake, and leave the frosting for later," Thor says, grabbing a large bowl from the kitchen counter. "And don't worry, if the cake doesn’t turn out good we can just blame it on the recipe."

Loki giggles at that, the smile on his face widening. "I thought you said you knew how to bake a cake."

"Yeah, well.... I guess we'll find out," Thor says and gives him a playful wink; Loki's pretty sure the butterflies are actually dancing right now. "Can you grab the flour? It says here we need three cups."

Loki reaches for the flour that's on his side of the table, his grin growing a bit... mischievous, as an idea comes to him.

Thor isn't looking at him, busy trying to decide which cup they're supposed to use. Loki bites his lower lip to hold back his laugh, and dips his fingers into the flour before flicking it towards Thor, watching as the white powder lands on his grey t-shirt. "Is this enough?" He asks just as Thor's head snaps up at him, gaping as if he doesn't believe that Loki actually did that.

Then he laughs and shakes his head in disbelief, looking quite amused but his voice has a warning tone when he speaks. "Loki...”

"Yes, Thor? What is it?" He asks innocently and throws a slightly bigger amount of flour this time, some of the powder disappearing into Thor's mostly white beard.

"Oh, you're gonna regret this," Thor tells him, a threatening smile forming on his face that makes Loki instinctively take a step back, feeling like a prey under his predator's gaze, excitement rushing through him.

He lets a smirk appear on his lips, his tone taunting when he replies. "Aw, you really think you can catch me, old man?"

Thor gasps, offended, and his mouth falls open in shock, making Loki giggle. "Okay. That's it."

Loki bolts out of the kitchen first, before Thor has even finished talking, and runs across the hall, laughing and feeling stupidly giddy as he hears Thor's steps behind him.

He reaches the living room and is sure there's at least some distance between him and Thor, not expecting a large hand to grab him, turning him around; for a man of his size - and age - Thor is pretty fast.

They look at each other and Thor raises his eyebrows in challenge, knowing that he has the upper hand in the situation, since he has Loki almost trapped against the couch.

Before Loki can attempt to escape, Thor attacks him, his hands finding Loki's ribs, right where Loki's the most ticklish.

"No no no, _Thor_ ," he pleads- or at least tries to, his words mostly incoherent as he starts laughing.

"Apologize," Thor says and slips his hands under Loki's t-shirt, so the tickling is even more effective. Loki laughs and squirms helplessly, falling back onto the couch, with Thor following, unconcerned by the fact that Loki keeps accidentally kicking him as he tries to wiggle out of Thor's hold.

"Just say you're sorry and I'll let you live," Thor says and Loki is about to taunt him a bit more, or perhaps just stick his tongue out in defiance, but a glance at their bodies makes his heartbeat stop for a moment, only then realizing how close they are.

Loki's lying on his back on the couch with Thor hovering over him, Thor's hands touching his bare skin as he tickles him, Loki's legs wrapped around Thor's waist in his attempt to escape.

He tries to appear unaffected, not wanting Thor to think that something is wrong, but he knows he should put an end to this before his body starts reacting into a very inappropriate way.

"Okay okay, I yield! I'm sorry!!" He says urgently, sighing in relief when Thor starts pulling away, even though Loki already misses having Thor's perfect, strong body pressed against his.

Thor flashes a triumphant grin at him and before Loki can even get up, Thor is grabbing him, easily throwing him over his shoulder and heading back to the kitchen. It makes something inside Loki tighten with want, seeing how easily Thor can manhandle him and carrying him around, but he ignores it - that's some jerking off material for later, for sure -, smiling widely as he's being carried across the hall.

"Who's the old man now, huh?"

"Still you," Loki says unapologetically, cheerfully, making Thor huff. Loki’s grinning so much it hurts his cheeks; he really loves their joking and banter.

"Little brat," Thor murmurs fondly and Loki freezes when he suddenly feels a hand land on his ass as Thor gives him a playful slap.

It's obviously supposed to be meaningless and innocent, but it still sends a full body shiver to Loki, his body tensing, suddenly rather interested in what's happening.

It's clear that Thor didn't mean to do this- didn’t really think about it, and his pace falters as they step in the kitchen. Then Thor sets him down on his feet, clearing his throat awkwardly and obviously avoiding making eye contact with Loki. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." he trails off, looking a bit embarrassed.

He probably felt Loki freezing, didn't he?

_Shit._

Loki wants to tell him that it's okay, that it didn't make him uncomfortable - his dick certainly doesn't think so - and that Thor shouldn't feel bad about this but Thor speaks before Loki gets a chance to do so.

"We should probably get back to that, hm?" He says, rubbing his beard; Loki knows by now Thor does that when he feels awkward, nervous. Luckily he finally meets Loki's eyes, even though hesitantly.

"Yeah, okay," Loki says and nods, sending Thor a reassuring smile. He doesn't want them to be awkward now. Especially since nothing really happened- definitely not something that Loki didn't want. But Thor doesn't know that, does he?

"What just happened... I- I didn't mind it, it was okay," he blurts out before he thinks about it, hoping that it doesn't sound like he wants Thor to spank him, because - even though it wouldn't be a lie; it’s certainly something Loki has thought before - it would definitely be inappropriate and make Thor feel uncomfortable.

Thor frowns, just looks at him for a few seconds before slowly nodding his head. "I really didn't mean to-"

"I know, Thor. It's okay," Loki assures him, his grin widening when Thor smiles at him.

They go back to making the cake, the tension between them slowly fading, leaving them to work comfortably with each other, teasing one another and exchanging smiles like they usually do.

A thought occurs to Loki just as they finish the frosting and even though it sounds crazy at first, it makes more and more sense as he thinks about it.

What happened between them - the slap, that is - wasn't anything serious, was definitely not sexual in any way. It was more like a friendly pat, a slap someone might give to their teammate at sports. The only reason Loki's mind interpreted it into something _more_ , it's because he would like it to be.

So, why did Thor react in such a way?

Loki's heartbeat immediately picks up as he thinks about the possibility of Thor acting like this for the same reason as Loki.

Is this truly possible? That Thor thinks about him just like Loki thinks about Thor?

He knows Thor cares about him but does he _like_ him? Does he find Loki pretty? Sexy? Attractive? Does he want to touch him, to kiss him... to _fuck_ him?

Loki thinks about all the things Thor has done for him, about how nice and sweet Thor always is, how caring.

He doesn't want to ruin this just because there's a slight possibility of Thor feeling the same and he tries to disregard this idea completely, but the thought stays with him for the rest of the day, in the back of his head, silently reminding him of what he could have. 

The cake turns out surprisingly good - definitely much better than Loki was expecting - and they both end up eating way too much, before collapsing on the couch to watch a movie, bellies full and lips curled into content smiles. 

Time passes faster than Loki would like and his day with Thor, unfortunately, comes to an end.

The only thing that stops him from sulking and pouting is the fact that he'll be spending his night with Thor, as well; he's hoping for some nice cuddles. Sometimes he can't find the courage to snuggle closer to Thor no matter how much he wants it, but other times - especially when Thor lies on his side, facing him - he can't resist shifting on the mattress, settling closer to Thor who always seems happy to wrap his arms around him.

It doesn't feel weird anymore, slipping into Thor's bed, getting comfortable under the covers. It's familiar; it's nice.

Thor joins him now, letting out a sigh as he finally lies down, settling on his side.

Loki turns onto his side, as well, meeting Thor's eyes, managing to make out his features thanks to the light of the moon slipping into the room through the half open curtain.

"Hey," he says quietly, even though this is usually when they say goodnight and go to sleep; that's why they got to bed, after all. But Loki doesn't feel like going to sleep, yet. He's actually craving something different tonight and he really doesn't want the day to end just yet.

Thor doesn't seem to mind the change in their little routine, smiling at him as he replies. "Hey."

"Today was fun. I really liked it," Loki says, glad that it's dark and Thor - probably; hopefully - can't see the blush that no doubt is spreading on his cheeks.

"Yeah? Me too... Even though you called me an old man!"

Loki laughs, grimacing sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't really mean that. You're fine, you're not old! Really!"

"Hey, it's alright, I'm just teasing you, kid," Thor says with a soft chuckle and Loki nods, feeling his cheeks heating up even further.

"I really didn't mean it, though. You're not old." _You're not too old for me_ , he means, but he can't say that, can he? "And you're still very handsome- I mean, you know-- anyway, I just wanted to say that I had fun today- I always do actually. Thank you."

Thor smiles; not mockingly even if Loki just made a fool of himself. "I like spending time with you, too. It's good, having you around."

Loki smiles back, his heart swelling with affection and hope, feels too big for his chest. He doesn't think as he moves, slightly sitting up, his mind focused on the fact that he simply wants to be closer to Thor, and he leans towards him, placing a lingering kiss on the top of Thor's cheek, that's not covered with beard and is surprisingly very soft.

Thor is still smiling when Loki pulls away and lies back down, still looking at him.

Loki wishes Thor would just reach for him and wrap him in his arms, hold him, caress his hair, kiss his forehead, his cheeks, his mouth. He wishes Thor wanted to be close to him just as much as Loki does.

It's not even mere want anymore- if it ever was. Loki feels like he needs this; like there's an aching, empty space inside him that fills little by little every time Thor touches him, or smiles at him, or calls him baby, sweetheart.

They're still staring at each other, neither looking away or saying goodnight.

Loki starts a little when Thor suddenly cups his cheek, a warm, rough palm cradling the side of his face, a broad thumb stroking his cheekbone gently.

"Beautiful," Thor says quietly, his gaze on Loki feeling heavier than ever. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart. You have no idea."

A silent gasp escapes Loki and he lies there, completely still, feels like he can't breathe, wondering for a moment if he's dreaming.

" _God_ , Loki, you're so good, baby. I don't think you understand how important you are to me," Thor continues, still talking softly, quietly.

Loki feels his cheek burning under Thor's palm, and his heart is beating too fast - he's sure Thor can probably even hear it -, his whole body trembling, aching with need.

He darts his tongue out and licks his lips with the tip, his heart jumping in his chest when he sees Thor tracing the movement with his eyes.

He exhales shakily, shifting closer, until their faces are only a couple of inches apart; Thor doesn't stop him, doesn't protest; he lets him. "Thor… I- I really want you to kiss me," he whispers and Thor doesn't really seem surprised at the request and perhaps... perhaps that's a good sign.

"Baby..."

Loki maintains eye contact, refusing to look away, begging wordlessly to be given what he asked for.

_baby_

That's obviously not exactly a yes but it's definitely not a no, either. Still, Thor only looks at him, several seconds passing that feel to Loki like hours.

For a moment Loki thinks he's made a huge mistake. He has obviously misinterpreted Thor's affection. Thor doesn't want this, of course he doesn't, what the hell was Loki thinking-

But then everything stops.

Loki can see the exact moment Thor's resolve breaks and it's almost like he stops breathing as Thor leans in, closing the few inches of space between them, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss that lasts only for a few seconds, but it still is the best things Loki has felt in his whole life.

Thor's lips are soft and warm, and his beard scratches gently against Loki's skin, all for a few moments before it's gone again. Thor is still close enough for Loki to feel him breathing and he is looking at Loki in a strange way, almost vulnerable, like he's afraid that he shouldn't have done that.

As if Loki wants anything more than this.

"Thor," he whispers, voice shaky. "Kiss me again. _Please._ "

And Thor does.

This time the kiss is firmer, not just a brush of lips, less hesitant. Loki feels himself melt into it and he lets out a pleased little sigh when Thor's hand slides into his hair, slightly urging him to come closer.

One of Loki's hands moves to Thor's chest, fingers curling around the fabric, trying to hold onto something- or perhaps, unconsciously wanting to make sure Thor stays there with him.

Loki fights back a whine of protest when Thor pulls away again, already missing feeling those lips against his own.

Will it happen again? Was this a just one time thing? Did Thor do this as a favor to him? Or perhaps out of pity?

He wants to ask but he would hate himself if he ruined the moment.

Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter, Loki realizes. He wouldn't want this to stop regardless of why Thor is doing it.

He never really expected that he'd find out how amazing Thor's lips feel against his own, how good it feels when Thor's beard rubs against his jaw, and yet here he is. The aching inside him is almost _screaming_ now, begging for more, but Loki wills it to calm down, tries to convince himself that if this is all he'll ever get to have with Thor, then it's enough.

"I've been thinking about doing this for a while now," Thor says quietly and Loki blinks in surprise, pulling farther back so he can look at Thor better.

"You have?" He asks in disbelief, tempted to pinch himself to make sure he's not dreaming.

"Mhm," Thor hums, a kind but skeptical expression on his face. "Was that okay?"

Loki wants to laugh at that - _was that okay?_ \- because of course it fucking was; Loki is sure that it has been quite obvious that he wanted this no matter how hard he tried to be subtle about it. Still, he likes that Thor worries about him, that he wants to make sure this was alright with him; it makes warmth spread in his belly, like it always happens when Thor shows him that he truly cares about him.

"More than okay," he says and just to test where exactly they stand now, he leans in and pecks Thor's lips, his heart making a happy flip when Thor welcomes the kiss.

He would love to stay awake all night, just exchanging sweet little kisses with Thor, but then a yawn escapes him - which makes Thor yawn, as well; it's _cute_ \- and only then does he realize that it's so late, remembering that Thor has to wake up early tomorrow.

He snuggles close to Thor, smiling when Thor immediately engulfs him in his arms, drawing Loki against his chest.

"Will you kiss me again, tomorrow?" He can't help but ask, clinging to Thor a bit tighter. "And the day after?" _And all the ones that will follow_ , he wants to add, but he doesn't.

"If you want me to."

"I do. I want that," Loki says determinedly, keeping his voice as firm as he can, wanting to make sure that Thor understands.

Loki has been wanting this for too long to back out now; and honestly, at this point, _want_ is an understatement.

"Okay, then," Thor breathes out, "okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, baby. Whatever you want."

Loki grins and presses his face to Thor's chest, relishing the way Thor's strong arms slightly tighten around him.

"Goodnight, Thor."

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they kiss, at last!😃  
> Fun times coming soon👀👀


	10. Chapter 10

Thor keeps his promise.

The next day he kisses Loki goodbye before leaving for work; first on the lips, softly, then on the forehead, ruffling his hair and telling him to have a good day.

It almost feels fatherly - or at least how Loki imagines a fatherly touch would feel - but it still makes him all warm inside, leaving him craving for more.

Loki is hesitant to initiate a kiss, not exactly sure what this... _thing_ between them means, but it's all much easier once they're in bed, lights off, snuggled close together under the blankets. Then, Loki can nuzzle Thor's cheeks with his own and kiss them and peck his lips. Thor always lets out pleased low hums, holding him and stroking his back, his sides, murmuring how good Loki is, how beautiful, how amazing.

It always makes Loki hard but Thor hasn't shown any desire, so far, to take this forward, so Loki ignores his boner, focusing instead on the sweet kisses Thor gives him, on the soft touches.

And the next morning, when Thor leaves for work, Loki slides on Thor's side of the bed, still warm and smelling like him, his cock swelling in its full hardness in merely seconds as he starts thinking about their kisses and touches and how close together they always lie when they go to sleep.

Days go by like this and Loki starts to grow restless, no matter how many times he tells himself that he shouldn't be getting greedy.

It's just that... he _wants_ more, he can't help it.

They have grown closer than they used to be and they keep kissing and cuddling, but Thor doesn't push it, as if he's afraid that this isn't something that Loki wants.

It's honestly frustrating.

Loki wonders if Thor is simply expecting _him_ to take the decision and make the first move or if he just doesn't want anything more than what they already have.

Thoughts of Thor doing this only to indulge him have, unfortunately, crossed Loki's mind, but he does his best to push them away, not wanting to believe that this is an actual possibility.

Thor touches him so tenderly, looks at him fondly with a soft smile and tells him all those sweet things; he must want this, just a _little_ at least.

So, Loki has decided to take matters into his own hands.

Well, he actually made this decision a couple of days ago, but he still hasn't managed to actually do anything about it.

Tonight, though, tonight it's his opportunity. He's determined!

They're sitting on the couch, pressed close together, with Loki having nestled himself under Thor's arm, the movie just starting. Not that Loki is paying any attention to it.

Instead, he rehearses in his head what exactly he's going to say, but so far he's not satisfied with anything his mind comes up with.

He's not even sure what he's trying to say, if he's honest.

_Thor, what are we doing?_

_Why don't you want to touch me more?_

Or perhaps something more like...

_I wanna climb into your lap and kiss you and feel your tongue down my throat, but you keep petting my hair and pecking my cheeks._

Or maybe...

_What if we cuddle, like we always do, but this time your cock is buried in my ass?_

He snorts at the last one, snapping his mouth shut when Thor tilts his head to look at him.

"Everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Just- just remembered something," he mumbles, nuzzling his face against Thor's chest, biting his lower lip to hold back his giggles.

He wonders how Thor would react if he said anything like this, even though he would never actually dare to. He'd probably die from blushing too much before managing to utter those words.

In the end, what come out of his mouth is, "Thor, do you like me?"

It's awkward as hell and definitely not the best option but it'll do, Loki supposes. Or so he hopes.

"What?" Thor chuckles, obviously not expecting the question and justifiably so. "Of course I like you."

"No, I mean... _Like me_ like me, you know..." he explains- or at least he tries to, hoping that Thor understands anyway.

Thor pulls slightly away so he can look at him, his hand finding its way to Loki's chin and he gently pinches it between his thumb and index finger, tilting his head upwards so their gazes meet. "I thought this was quite obvious, by now," he says, his expression slightly amused, but serious.

Loki shakes his head _no_ , hoping that the light of the TV screen doesn't give away his blush. "No, not really. I don't think so."

"Perhaps I should have made it clearer then. Because I do like you, Loki. A lot. Maybe even more than I should," Thor tells him, leaning in to press a kiss on his lips.

Loki wants to ask what this means- or why Thor doesn't do anything about it if he actually likes him as much as he says he does, but he just nods, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"Something's still troubling you. What is it?" Thor asks him, now cupping his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb, waiting patiently for an answer.

Loki shrugs, averting his gaze away from Thor, and his voice is a small whisper when he speaks. "You don't touch me..."

Thor is silent for a moment and Loki doesn't dare to meet his eyes now, afraid of what he might find there. "I don't...- _oh_."

Loki is glad that Thor at least understood what he meant because he doesn't think he could repeat that. It was awkward enough the first time. "Do you want that, baby? Do you want me to touch you?"

Loki nods, finally letting himself look at Thor's face, a shiver running through him at the way Thor's eyes seem to have darkened. "Do _you_ want to touch me?"

Thor huffs out a chuckle, a fond smile spreading on his face. "I can barely even keep my hands off you."

Loki's eyes widen at the words, not expecting them, but it soothes some of his nervousness, his lips curling into a cheeky grin. "Well, you seem to be doing just fine, so far," he grumbles half-heartedly, eliciting another chuckle from Thor, his smile widening.

"It wasn't easy-" Thor starts saying, but the words that were to follow die in his throat when Loki, feeling bolder now, climbs into his lap. "Well, hello there."

"Hey," Loki says and before there's any time for him to chicken out, he surges forward and presses their lips together.

Thor makes a startled sound but returns the kiss immediately, bringing his hands to Loki's hips. Loki parts his mouth and darts his tongue out, licking over Thor's bottom lip invitingly, his whole body tensing when their tongues meet, Thor's hold on his hips tightening.

It's already more than anything they've done so far, so it's no surprise that Loki's cock has already taken notice, quickly hardening inside his sweats. He wonders if Thor is aroused too, and he tries to grind forward but Thor's grip on him is still firm, easily keeping him in place. 

He makes a whiny, little sound before he can stop himself and Thor chuckles against his lips, pulling away grinning.

"I guess we're not watching the movie, huh?" He asks teasingly and Loki's cheeks heat up even more, because he honestly forgot they were even watching a movie.

He shrugs and offers Thor a sheepish smile, relieved that Thor doesn't actually seem to mind.

Thor reaches for the remote control and pauses the movie, before turning his attention back to Loki. Loki expects to be kissed again, but Thor just stares at him, in that way he does lately, almost like... like he's in awe. It always makes Loki blush, his heart fluttering, and even though he would very much like it if they continued kissing, he can't help basking in Thor's attention, reveling in it.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?" Thor's voice is low and rough and Loki is certain he's never heard anything hotter in his life. His cock throbs and leaks in response and he fidgets in Thor's lap, seeking some kind of friction against his dick.

"Absolutely breathtaking," Thor adds and Loki shakes his head, averting his gaze, feeling like his cheeks are on fire. He both loves and hates it when Thor praises him, always craving the compliments but never knowing how to response when he gets them.

" _Thor_ ," he whines softly, pouting, begging for some mercy, even though he rather enjoys this sweet torture.

"God, it drives me _crazy_ when you get all shy. You have no idea how pretty you look when you blush, do you?" Thor rasps and an embarrassing gasp escapes Loki's mouth, before he buries his face in the crook of Thor's neck, not sure if he can handle any more compliments in such a short amount of time.

Thor chuckles, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of Loki's head, fingers threading through his hair. "Baby. Come on, you don't have to hide from me," he says, slowly encouraging Loki to pull back until he can see him again.

Thor leans in and playfully nudges his nose against Loki's, a large palm cradling the side of Loki's face. "I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. I just really like telling you how beautiful you are because- well, because it's the truth and I think you should know that, too, in case you don't already."

It does make Loki feel a bit awkward - he's not quite used to receiving compliments - but _God_ , he never wants Thor to stop. It's a little pathetic, the effect Thor's praise has on him - has his cheeks flushing, heartbeat racing, cock twitching, makes him want to moan something that he'll probably immediately regret - but still, Loki can't imagine living without this now, after weeks of Thor offering it to him so generously.

"I don't want you to stop," he says earnestly and the warm smile that spreads on Thor's lip tells him he made the right choice.

"Then I won't," Thor says and pulls him in a kiss that's nothing like the ones they shared before.

It's as if all these times Thor was holding back, and now he has finally let go. Loki is certain he has never been kissed like this before and he whimpers against Thor's mouth, pressing himself closer to him, their bodies flush together.

Loki welcomes Thor's tongue inside his mouth, mewling softly when he feels Thor's hands slip under his t-shirt, calloused palms caressing the small of his back, causing goosebumps to rise all over his skin. Thor's beard rubs against his jaw as they kiss, making Loki want to feel this burn everywhere on his body, to see his skin turn tender and pink from Thor's kisses.

His dick is painfully hard in his sweats by now and he desperately wants to reach and at least readjust it, make himself a bit more comfortable, but he's so fucking close already that he's afraid he'll come the moment he touches himself.

He shifts on Thor's lap, as subtly as possible, just trying to find a better position, gasping when he feels Thor's hard cock against his inner thigh, the sensation being too much even through the thin material of their sweats.

"Oh- oh fuck," he sighs, the low grunt Thor lets out having him trembling a little.

"God, I don't even remember the last time I was so hard," Thor says, laughing, and Loki feels like he could come just like this, just from knowing that Thor is hard and aroused because of _him_.

His hold on Thor's shoulders tightens as he rocks his hips forward, doing it again when Thor doesn't protest. He tenses - in surprise and excitement rather than nervousness - when Thor's hands slide lower on his body, slipping inside his sweats and boxers to fondle his ass.

"Is this okay?" Thor asks, as if Loki isn't already pushing back into the touch, arching his back eagerly, welcoming everything Thor wants to do to him.

"Yes," he says breathlessly, whimpering when Thor kneads his asscheeks in his large hands, drawing him closer, causing their dicks to rub together. Loki feels himself leaking even more in his boxers and he glances down at his lap, his eyes widening both in surprise and embarrassment when he sees the dark spot having formed on his grey sweatpants.

Thor must notice him looking and follow his gaze, because a fond chuckle escapes him, and when Loki looks at him again there's smug grin on his handsome face, which immediately makes Loki's blush deepen. "Fuck, you're so wet, baby," Thor says as he removes one hand out of Loki's pants and slips it between them, making Loki choke out a whine when he cups his cock.

" _Nnghhh_... Thor, d- don't. M'close, too close," he warns but instead of pulling away, Thor tightens his grip and leans in to kiss his cheek, mouthing down at his jaw, teeth grazing Loki's skin as Thor keeps massaging his cock, drawing needy, little sounds from Loki who can't hold his moans back even though he tries.

"That's it, baby," Thor murmurs into his ear, the tip of his tongue teasing Loki's earlobe, and Loki's nails dig into Thor's shoulders, his legs squeezing Thor's thighs as he tries to last just a little longer.

He doesn't want this to end, not so _embarrassingly_ fast.

Thor keeps rubbing him over the sweats, his mouth still busy kissing and sucking on Loki's neck, and as if that wasn't already enough, Loki feels two fingers dip lower and between his asscheeks, the tips brushing over his hole, making him tense and shiver, so fucking close to the edge.

"Let go, sweetheart, come on. Come for me, Loki," Thor tells him, the words soft-spoken but still an order, and Loki can do nothing but obey, biting his lower lip hard enough to silence himself, swallowing down moans of _daddy daddy daddy_ that would probably not be welcome.

Thor holds him as Loki rides out the powerful waves of his climax, embracing him and making soft hushing sounds when Loki collapses against him, still panting.

Loki doesn't pull away even after he has calmed down, trying to figure out how he can make Thor understand that this isn't all that Loki wanted. This was amazing, but Loki doesn't feel sated even in the slightest.

Besides, Thor didn't even get to come and Loki wants him to feel good, too.

He pulls away, managing to look Thor in the eye as he speaks, voice still a little shaky. "Do you want to fuck me?"

Thor blinks once, his expression softening even as his eyes darken in a way that makes excitement rush through Loki's body. "It's okay if we don't-"

"Just answer me, Thor," he pleads, but his voice is firmer this time. "Do- do you want this? Do you wanna fuck me?"

Thor takes a deep breath and nods, squeezing Loki's sides in his hands. "Yeah- fuck yes, I want to fuck you, baby."

Loki exhales shakily and grinds against Thor's hard cock, his own dick already starting to swell with arousal again. "Bed?" he suggests and Thor nods his head, moving his hands lower so he can grip Loki's thighs and get up, easily holding him up.

Loki is quick to wrap himself around Thor, smiling broadly as Thor takes them to the bedroom. No one has carried him around like this since he was a kid and he finds that he rather likes this, clinging to Thor a bit tighter, loving how effortless it seems to be for Thor to hold him up like this.

He reluctantly lets go of him when they reach the bed and Thor sets him carefully on the mattress, joining him right after. Loki spreads his legs and let Thor settle between them, his body thrumming with anticipation as Thor looms over him, looking like he wants to eat him up whole.

He shivers when Thor reaches for the hem of his t-shirt and sits up to help him take it off, Thor's intense gaze upon him feeling almost like a touch on his bare skin. Thor hooks his thumbs at the waistband of his sweats next and Loki raises his hips, thighs twitching excitedly as Thor pulls his pants down, his hands brushing over his legs.

"Look at the mess you made, baby," Thor says in a teasing tone, motioning to Loki's boxers, and Loki wants to apologize - _sorry, daddy_ \- but keeps his mouth shut, offering Thor a sheepish smile.

Thor removes his underwear and wipes said mess with it, Loki's cock jumping every time the damp fabric of the boxers brushes over it.

"You, too," Loki says impatiently, wanting to see Thor, as well, and feeling too exposed now that he's completely naked and Thor is still fully dressed, even though the truth is he kind of likes it.

Thor obliges him anyway, pulling his t-shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor along with Loki's clothes, his sweats and boxers following right after.

Loki gulps when his gaze falls on Thor's lap and he just stares for a few moments, his eyes glued to the glorious sight that is Thor's cock; long and fat and veiny - immediately making Loki wonder how it'd feel to have Thor inside him bare -, the head red and glistening with precum that Loki wants to taste.

Thor lets him take his fill as he reaches to grab lube and a condom from the nightstand and then leans over him, one of his hands caressing Loki's side, his lips finding Loki's in a languid kiss.

Loki moans eagerly into the kiss and hooks his leg around Thor's hip, feeling his hole clenching around nothing when Thor's cock nudges against him. He feels terribly empty and he whines urgently against Thor's lips, hoping that he'll get the hint.

Loki hears the tube of lube click open and a few seconds later there are slick fingers rubbing at his entrance, causing his back to arch off the mattress, desperate to have Thor inside him, even if it's just his fingers for now.

Soon, Thor eases in a digit, moving it inside and out at a languid pace, spreading the lube on Loki's inner walls.

Loki breaks the kiss, gasping, and Thor seems happy to keep kissing his neck now, sucking on the tender flesh across Loki's throat. Loki hopes there are marks left there afterwards and heat curls in his groin at the thought of Thor laying his claim on him in such a way, marking him for anyone to see.

Another finger joins the first one, but Thor doesn't increase the speed of his movements, continuing the slow, sweet torture.

"You're taking me so well, baby," Thor murmurs against his neck, licking a long stripe across it, eliciting another needy sound from Loki who already feels close to his second orgasm; it's quite ridiculous and embarrassing, if he's honest!

"Thor, come on. You can fuck me now," he says, not wanting to come again when Thor hasn't even climaxed once, even though he's quite intimidated by the considerable size of Thor's cock and he's not sure whether he's really ready yet or not. Still, he doesn't want Thor to think that he is selfish and only cares for his own pleasure. Loki can be good for him; Thor only needs to ask- or at least let him.

"Are you not enjoying this?" Thor asks, sounding almost worried, and an incredulous laugh escapes Loki; the problem is that he's enjoying this too much!

"I'm enjoying it. But... I wanna do something for you, too," he mumbles, feeling silly for some reason; doesn't Thor want to enjoy this, too?

"You're already doing plenty for me, sweetheart. Just enjoy this and let me take care of you, okay?" Thor tells him softly, pecking his lips, and Loki nods his head, the words making warmth spread in his chest. He wants this - the two of them together like this, Thor taking care of him - so fucking much it almost hurts.

He has let guys fuck him before, but it never meant anything, it never felt like this. It was usually with him on his hands and knees in the back of a car or pressed against a wall, as the guy, whoever it was, took him from behind, and while the position was definitely not a problem, it always felt too impersonal, like it meant nothing.

Like _he_ meant nothing.

Especially since they certainly never seemed to care about Loki's pleasure.

Loki thought this was how it was supposed to be.

He never quite knew what he needed, didn't believe that sex would feel so different with someone he loves and trusts.

But now here he is, feeling loved and cherished and desired as he falls apart under Thor's experienced, gentle touches only to be put back together by his words, full of affection and praise.

And it feels _good_.

Better than Loki could ever imagine.

Even as nervous as he is, he feels oddly relaxed and comfortable, knows that he's safe in Thor's arms.

No one has ever touched him like this, as if he's something precious, something meant to be cherished, and it makes him feel vulnerable but he doesn't fight it.

He lets Thor take care of him, just as Thor asked him to, and he closes his eyes in pleasure as Thor stretches him with his fingers, Loki's body welcoming him in when Thor slides three fingers inside him.

Loki whines, loud and needy, as he feels Thor rub against his prostate, his cock dripping precum on his lower stomach, his balls tightening as his orgasm approaches. He clutches at Thor's biceps, desperate to hold onto something, and moves his leg higher around Thor's waist, giving Thor more space.

"So good, baby. You're so good for me," Thor rasps, their lips brushing together, and Loki whimpers, his hole clenching around Thor's thick fingers, and it's so fucking good that he almost feels dizzy with arousal, aching with overwhelming need.

"Daddy, please," he whines, feeling wonderfully helpless, completely at Thor's mercy, only realizing what he said when Thor's movements freeze.

_No no no._

Fuck.

_Fuck._

"I- shit, I'm sorry. Thor, I didn't mean-"

"Loki. Say that again," Thor rasps, his blue eyes dark and fixed on Loki, his voice rougher than Loki has ever heard it.

"... please, da- daddy," he whispers hesitantly, still slightly afraid that Thor is angry at him, but then Thor lets out a growl from deep in his throat and crashes their lips together, having Loki mewling into the kiss.

Loki rocks downwards onto Thor's fingers, desperate, and Thor increases his pace, fucking him open with precise strokes, making sure Loki is ready for his cock.

"That's it, baby, come for me. You don’t have to hold back… Come for daddy, sweetheart," Thor says and that's all Loki needs to reach his climax, writhing under Thor as he spills all over his stomach, incoherent cries leaving his mouth. "So good, darling. You're amazing. Fucking amazing."

Loki pulls Thor closer to him, hugging him, nuzzling Thor's cheek and sighing as he slowly calms down, his breathing eventually returning to normal.

"Fuck me. Please, fuck me, daddy," he says, looking up at Thor through his eyelashes, and Thor grunts, nodding his head and finally withdrawing his fingers so he can roll the condom on his cock, giving himself a few strokes to spread some lube over it before guiding himself to Loki's entrance.

"You ready, baby?" Thor asks and Loki nods, wrapping both his legs around Thor's waist. "Breathe," Thor instructs and strokes Loki's hair soothingly as he starts pushing inside, forcing Loki's rim to stretch around the fat cockhead.

Thor slides inside him slowly, carefully, peppering Loki with soft kisses as Loki tries his best to control his breathing, his chest already heaving. Thor remains still once he has bottomed out, letting Loki feel every inch of cock buried inside him and get adjusted to being spread so wide.

"Move," Loki says, not willing to wait any longer. "Please, daddy," he adds, testing the word on his tongue, and it immediately sends heat curling in his stomach; he finds it exhilarating to finally be able to say it out loud after such a long time of imagining it and thinking it impossible.

"Okay, baby... okay," Thor says and then he's rolling his hips, starting with shallow thrusts, grinding into Loki who can only moan, encouraging him to go faster, harder.

Thor builds up a steady pace, keeping his movements slow, but deepening his thrusts, pulling out almost completely before sliding back in, drawing a lustful whine from Loki.

Loki feels his body grow pliant in Thor's hands and he lets himself surrender and submit to him completely, wanting to simply be Thor's, to belong to him and let Thor use him however he wishes to, certain that Thor will take good care of him and will give him everything he wants and needs.

He runs his hands over Thor's back, feeling the muscles tense and relax under his palms, and he grazes his nails over the skin, his lips twitching up when Thor grunts and his hips stutter. He hopes he leaves red lines behind, wanting to leave his marks on Thor just as Thor has probably done on his neck, on his shoulders and collarbone.

"You're so beautiful like this, sweetheart. Even more than usual," Thor says and cups his jaw gently, tracing Loki's kiss-swollen lips with his index finger.

Loki moans and instinctively parts his mouth, darting his tongue out to lick the tip of Thor's finger, looking at Thor invitingly. "Daddy," he breathes out and Thor is obviously happy to accept the invitation because a moment later two thick fingers are being pushed inside Loki's mouth.

Loki welcomes them, wrapping his lips around them and sucking, swiping his tongue around them. It feels strangely good and he moans eagerly around the digits, enjoying the feeling of being so stuffed full of _Thor_.

"Fuck, baby... You're gonna be the death of me, kid, you know that?" Thor says breathlessly and Loki makes an eager, muffled sound, hollowing his cheeks as he suckles harder on the fingers, simultaneously trying to grind onto Thor's cock, feeling too greedy right now to settle for Thor's languid pace.

He whines happily when Thor presses his fingers against his tongue and shoves them deeper inside his mouth, and Loki feels drool drip out of his mouth and down his chin. It feels good, turning him on eve more, and he can’t wait to have Thor’s cock in his mouth, wanting to feel him thick and heavy against his tongue.

"Baby," Thor says, voice sweet but low, dangerous, making heat coil in Loki's stomach at the sound. "You're gagging for it, aren't you?"

Loki nods his head immediately, shamelessly, and Thor lets out a chuckle and slowly withdraws the two digits, brushing them over Loki's lips as he pulls them out, letting them drift lower, leaving a wait trail of saliva behind until he reaches Loki's nipple, giving it a playful tug.

"Daddy," Loki whimpers, gasping when Thor delivers a harder thrust, increasing his pace, ramming his cock inside Loki just like how Loki has wanted him to.

"Does it feel good, baby? Having daddy's cock inside you?" Thor asks, his hand finding Loki's thigh, drawing it farther up around his waist, so he can drive his dick deeper into Loki's body.

It feels like he's being split in half and Loki relishes every second of it, loving the way Thor's thick cock spreads him so wide open, hoping that he'd be able to feel this for hours, _days_ even, after they're done. He wants that sweet soreness to stay with him, to remind him of this right now when he's at work, when he takes a shower, when he simply lies beside Thor.

"Feels so good, _so_ full," he says earnestly, reveling in the way Thor's looking at him, feeling like it's the first time someone actually _sees_ him.

He leans up and kisses Thor, wet and sloppy, whimpering every time Thor pounds into him, cock brushing over his prostate.

"Wanna ride you, daddy," he says, voice pleading and desperate, and Thor lets out a low grunt, easily manhandling him and flipping them around before Loki even knows what's happening. He whines as Thor's cock moves inside him but he can't help grinning excitedly when he suddenly finds himself on Thor's lap.

"Come on, baby," Thor urges and that's all the encouragement Loki needs before he starts moving, raising himself up and sinking down, his movements too enthusiastic to not be erratic even though he tries to set a sort of steady rhythm.

Thor's eyes are on him, traveling all over him, from his face to his chest and down between his legs where Thor's cock disappears inside him. Loki revels in the attention and rides Thor faster, more desperately, wanting to be good for his daddy, to make him feel just as amazing this feels for Loki.

"Shit, baby... You were fucking born to ride cock, you know that?" Thor says, sounding in awe, his hands squeezing Loki's thighs encouragingly.

Loki moans wantonly and keeps bouncing on Thor's cock, ignoring his hair that falls in front of his face, sticking to his sweaty forehead, his dick jumping with every movement, fully hard again, and he's pretty sure he's not far away from a third orgasm.

Which isn’t exactly a surprise.

Loki has always found this extremely hot; he has imagined so many times riding someone while said someone is simply lying back, looking at him and praising him, telling him how well he's taking his cock, while Loki fucks himself onto said cock like a trained whore.

Not even in his wildest fantasies could he have imagined that he would get to do this with Thor.

He takes advantage of their positions and lets his eyes roam over Thor greedily, starting from Thor's soft lower stomach, running his fingers through the trail of hair there and following it with his gaze up to Thor’s broad chest. He can't help leaning in to knead Thor's pecs, steadying himself this way as he keeps riding his cock. Then he admires Thor's wide shoulders and huge arms, imagining for a moment how it'd feel if Thor held him up against wall and fucked him while he could only wrap himself around Thor and take it.

He whines at the thought and another drop of precum leaks out of his slit, the pressure in his groin increasing as he gets closer to his climax.

"Touch yourself, sweetheart. Let me see you," Thor tells him, now breathless, and Loki is quick to obey, sitting up on Thor's lap and wrapping his hand around himself, stroking his dick in sync with the movements of the rest of his body.

"You close, baby? Not gonna last long," Thor pants and his hands move to Loki's ass, gripping his cheeks and spreading them open, before thrusting up, and Loki lets out a loud cry, redoubling his efforts.

"M'close, too, daddy," he moans and keeps fucking himself onto Thor's cock just as Thor pounds into him, their movements sloppy and desperate, but absolutely perfect for what they both need right now.

A loud growl is all the warning Loki gets before Thor slams him down onto his lap and starts coming, a slight frown forming between his eyebrows as he empties his load inside Loki in the condom. Loki feels Thor's cock twitch inside him as he comes and it makes a proud heat bloom deep in his stomach, knowing that this is all for him. He only wishes he could feel Thor's seed, let it fill him up.

Maybe soon he’ll get to have this, too. Thor rarely denies him anything.

He can only roll his hips now as Thor still holds him firmly on his lap, but it's more than enough for Loki to reach his orgasm, as well. His eyes drop close and his head falls back in pleasure, the word _daddy_ slipping out of his mouth like a prayer, as he shoots his release all over his hand and Thor's stomach.

He stays like this for a few seconds once he has finished, just panting, before he lets himself collapse on top of Thor, their bodies sticky with sweat and cum, now pressed together.

"Fuck. I feel twenty years younger," Thor says seriously and Loki giggles, nuzzling Thor's sweaty chest.

Eventually Thor maneuvers him so he can take the condom off, setting Loki to lie beside him, both of them turning on their sides, looking at each other.

"This was amazing," Loki says earnestly, his cheeks slightly blushing, even though he doubts Thor can see it with how flushed he already is. "Is... is this why you kept me?" he asks genuinely, without thinking much about it first; it's not an accusation or anything. He's simply curious to know if Thor had thought about this from the start and that's why he has been so nice to him. Loki never really understood that, but this at least would make sense.

Unfortunately, it seems to be the wrong thing to say because Thor's eyes widen in terror and he immediately sits up, looking horrified and shifting slightly away from him; Loki already regrets asking.

"What, Loki, _no_! Why- why would you think that? Fuck. _Fuck_ , kid. I shouldn't have let this happen, I shouldn't ha-"

"No no no, Thor, I'm sorry. _I'm sorry._ Please, I just- I just wanted to know. I'm really sorry," he says pleadingly, sitting up as well, feeling stupid and in the verge of tears, his lower lip wobbling; _God, why is he so bad at this?_ "I'm just trying to understand how- how this works. Don't be mad at me, please."

Thor's expression softens in an instant and he pulls Loki closer and into his lap, wrapping him in a hug. "Hey, I'm not mad, baby. _Never_ at you, okay?" Loki nods and Thor's kisses the top of his head, rubbing his back. "I care about you, Loki. And I'm happy you're here- I'm actually the happiest I've been in a _very_ long while. _You_ make me happy, you understand? And I wanna take care of you, give you everything you want. Fuck. I love you, baby, okay? I love you," Thor says and Loki pulls away to look at him, his eyes glistening for a different reason now. It’s happy tears; the _happiest_.

"You do?"

"Of course, baby. How can someone not love you, hm? It's impossible," Thor tells him and now Loki giggles, grinning like a fool.

"I love you, too, daddy- oh, uh... is that okay?"

Thor chuckles, leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. "What, that you love me or the daddy thing?"

Loki feels his cheeks heating up, but his smile doesn't falter. "Both."

"Yes, it's okay, baby," Thor tells him gently and connects their lips together in a brief, sweet kiss. "Oh, and something else. Listen, I want you to know that you can stay here no matter what, okay? You'll always be welcome in my house, nothing will change that. If you regret this and change your mind about us, I don't want you to be afraid to tell me. I won't throw you out. Got it?"

Loki's heart gives a happy flutter and he nods, hugging Thor tightly. "You're too good to me," he whispers and a few tears fall at last, sliding down on Thor's chest.

"Nothing will ever be too good for you, baby. You only deserve the best," Thor tells him firmly and Loki makes a soft, mewling sound that elicits a fond chuckle from Thor.

"Oh, and by the way I'll never change my mind about this. Just so you know," Loki tells him and Thor hums, rubbing his cheek against Loki's hair.

"Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you about something else, as well," Thor tells him and Loki would have started panicking at the words, if Thor's expression wasn't so soft and affectionate.

"Hm? What?"

"I noticed you still haven't emptied your suitcase," Thor says, his tone gentle, a bit cautious maybe, and Loki understands it's Thor's way to make sure Loki knows he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to.

"Oh," he mumbles, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Right, sorry. I... It just, you know, it was supposed to be temporary."

"But it doesn't have to be now, does it, darling?"

Loki shakes his head; this definitely does not feel temporary anymore. "Does this mean I should unpack?"

"If you'd like to. You're not a just guest here, anymore, Loki. You're the most important part of my life, I want you here for as long as you like. This can be your home, if you want to," Thor tells him and it's all so earnest and sweet that Loki has to fight to hold back his tears again.

"Thor," he breathes out shakily, hugging him and clinging to him. Thor, of course, holds him securely in his arms, like he always does. "I'd love that," he says and welcomes the loving, desperate kiss Thor presses to his lips.

They stay like this for a while, lying in the bed and cuddling, until Thor convinces him that they need to clean up before going to sleep. They take a quick shower together and Thor has to pretty much hold him up because Loki's legs are still shaky. So, Loki is happy to let Thor wash him and take care of him, purring softly as Thor wraps him in a towel and carries him to the bedroom.

Loki just stands there as Thor changes the sheets and they both slip into a clean pair of boxers before finally going to bed, immediately curling up close together.

"And I thought I was the old man," Thor teases him, looking unfairly rested compared to Loki.

Loki huffs and pinches Thor's side, making him yelp but thankfully Thor doesn't retaliate. "Yeah well, _you_ try taking this monster up your ass," Loki grumbles - as if he didn't love every second of it - and Thor laughs, kissing his temple. "Now let me sleep, I need to restore my energy."

"Little brat," Thor says fondly and Loki grins, rather liking it when he's being an annoying little shit to Thor; Thor seems to like it, too. It's fun. "Sweet dreams, baby."

Loki mumbles a sleepy goodnight and he's pretty sure he hears an _I love you_ just before he drifts off to sleep, smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki takes a deep breath and then exhales, closing his eyes as silent tears slowly roll down his cheeks. He leans against the railing of the balcony, resting his forearms there, and tilts his head up, opening his eyes and looking up at the sky that's still dark and full of stars; it's pretty.

He's not sure how long he's been out here - probably not more than twenty minutes or so - but he still hasn't managed to get himself to calm down. It was almost three in the morning when he woke up from the dream, feeling like he was choking and couldn't breathe and, not wanting to wake Thor up, he decided to come out here.

It wasn't even a bad dream really.

He remembers that Thor was there and his mom was still alive and she wasn't sick. She knew about Thor and him being together and was happy about them. Loki remembers her smiling genuinely at him and telling him that all she wanted was for him to be okay, to be happy.

He can't really remember any other details no matter how hard he tries to, but it was still more than enough to bring tears to his eyes when he woke up and realized his mom wasn't there.

Then, he carefully shifted away from Thor's arms and climbed off the bed, before heading to the balcony, letting his mind wander.

These last two weeks have probably been the happiest of his life.

He feels bad when he thinks about it, wondering if he shouldn't feel like this when his mom died only months ago, but he can't help it.

He doesn't think he has ever felt so safe and cared for, so loved and cherished. Two weeks ago Thor told him that Loki makes him happy - _the happiest he's been in a long while_ \- and Loki really hopes Thor meant it, because that's definitely the case for him.

Thor is too good to be true and many times Loki finds himself wondering if this is a dream, if he'll wake up and he'll be back to his old apartment, packing his things and having nowhere to go.

But this isn't a dream, it's real, and Loki couldn't be more grateful.

During the first days after they had sex for the first time, Loki was slightly afraid that things would change, that perhaps it'd be awkward or that Thor would start pulling away, now having gotten what he wanted.

Logically speaking, Loki knew Thor wouldn't do that, but those thoughts and fears were still there.

Of course, none of these things happen.

Their routine remained as it was, only that now there were a lot more kisses- and fucking, of course. Loki was still getting used to receiving pleasure and to Thor being so selfless and focused on Loki, and Thor always made sure to remind him that even if Loki wanted to, he couldn't make Thor come more than once unless he was willing to wait at least a couple of hours.

So, Loki shut up and admitted Thor had a point. Besides, Thor told him he really likes watching Loki fall apart under his hands - and lips and tongue -, so who is Loki to object to that!

So, yeah, things have been going great.

Oh, and they had their first fight!

Well, if you can really call it that; now that Loki thinks about it, he finds it rather ridiculous, his lips twitching up in a small smile despite himself.

It was about two or three days ago. Loki was working late and Thor had come back from work looking exhausted, so of course Loki told him to rest and not come to pick him up. Loki can manage just fine on his own.

But Thor, obviously, ignored him.

Loki was pouting during the whole ride home, refusing to talk or even look at Thor, glaring at the ground when they got off the car and made their way to the apartment.

It was in the elevator that Loki gave in. Thor wrapped his arms around him, having a stupidly charming smile on his face, and told him _give daddy a kiss_ , winking playfully at him. Loki tried to remain serious but he couldn't resist laughing in the end, half-heartedly punching Thor on the shoulder and saying _I hate you_ , before Thor pulled him into a kiss.

Everything is going great and Loki isn't sure what to make of it. He simply wonders how long it will last; he doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready for this to end.

He also wonders what his mom would think of this.

He doubts it'd be like in the dream.

Perhaps she would be proud of him for making it on his own, without her being here. Or maybe she would be disappointed or ashamed, reminding him that he didn't want to spread his legs for money, and yet here he is fucking the guy that's letting him stay at his home.

Loki shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts, knowing that it's not like this with Thor. He is fully aware of that - Thor cares about him, Thor _loves_ him - but sometimes he can't stop those thoughts from getting in his head without his permission.

He sniffles and lets out a sigh, feeling a bit better now, calmer.

He frowns when he hears steps coming from inside and he turns his head to see Thor's looming figure approaching. He immediately looks away and wipes the remaining tears off his face, not wanting to worry Thor for no reason.

Even though, him being out here in the middle of the night is probably enough to make Thor concerned.

"Hey," Thor murmurs, voice low and raspy from sleep, and Loki can't help but smile, finding it soothing.

"Hey," Loki says and can't help sighing when Thor presses himself on his back, wrapping his arms around him; Loki hadn't even realized he was cold until now that he has Thor's warm body flush against him. He stops leaning forward on the railings and instead he melts back into Thor's embrace, letting out a quiet, pleased hum.

"What are you doing here?" Thor asks him, nuzzling his neck and inhaling his scent, before pressing a tender kiss there.

Loki contemplates not telling him, but he decides there's no harm in doing so. At first, he thought Thor would feel awkward if Loki mentioned his mom, but he's always willing to listen, always encouraging Loki to open up, reassuring him he's there for him.

"I had a dream. It- it wasn't bad. You were there," Loki starts and Thor hums, waiting for him to continue. "My mom was, too. And she was happy for us. I know it's silly but..." Loki shrugs, chewing on the inside of his lips. "I don't know, it felt real."

"It's not silly, baby. You miss her; there's nothing silly about that," Thor tells him and Loki nods; he supposes Thor is right.

"Can I ask you something?" He says after a few seconds of silence and Thor hums, placing a kiss on his cheek. Loki smiles - even though he's a bit nervous now -, liking the way Thor's beard brushes against his skin. "Why did you start coming to my mom? You obviously don't have to answer of course, but I just- I've been wondering. You were nothing like all the other men that used to come to our house."

Thor is quiet for some moments and Loki starts thinking he's not planning to answer when he finally speaks. "I think it was more than one thing that led me there," he starts, taking a deep breath, his voice lower and a bit sadder when he continues.

"I know I was lonely and I kinda was in a bad place back then. I wanted company and to blow off some steam I suppose, but without having to try, no feelings, no strings attached. Everything felt difficult at the moment and I needed something easy, something simple."

Loki nods, thinks he understands. "Had something happened?" he asks hesitantly, not wanting to intrude any further, but also being rather curious.

"You could say so. My father and I never really got along and after my mother's death, we both just got worse. I was supposed to take over the family's business and even though that's not really what I wanted I had accepted it. But, well, after a lot of disagreements and fights, I realized there was no reason for me to tolerate my father any longer now that my mother was gone, so I left. And I kinda pulled away from everyone, barely talking to any of my friends, focusing just on my work, on building a new life. I mean, I was almost forty and I basically had to start over. So I was lonely and bitter, and kinda thought why not, you know. If I'm honest I thought it'd be a one time thing, but I kept coming back," he finishes, shrugging a shoulder a bit awkwardly.

Loki nods in understanding, appreciating that Thor was willing to share all this with him, and turns around, bringing a hand on Thor's cheek to caress his beard.

"Thank you for telling me," he says earnestly and Thor offers him a warm smile that makes Loki's heart flutter, like it always happens when Thor looks at him so affectionately.

"Do you remember the first time you saw me?" Thor asks now, laughing a little, and Loki frowns as he tries to remember.

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh God, you were _terrified_ of me. You ran to your mom and asked her if I was a giant. Apparently you had recently read somewhere that giants were evil and ate little kids."

Loki laughs incredulously, feeling himself flush in embarrassment. "I did _not_ ," he says - he really doesn't remember it at all - and he can't help smiling when the grin on Thor's face widens.

"Oh, you did. You definitely did. The next time, though, I- I'm not sure why I did it, but I brought you a toy- or was it a coloring book? I don't know, but you must have liked it because then you decided I was a good giant."

Loki laughs and shakes his head, biting his lower lip to stifle his chuckles, not wanting to wake up the neighbors.

"You were one of the reasons I kept coming back. It was rather selfish now that I think about it. It's just that every time I was bringing you gifts, I felt like I did something good, something that mattered. You always got so excited over every little thing I'd buy you and well, I guess you made my life brighter- _God_ , Loki, you were the most precious little thing."

Loki laughs and averts his gaze, not being able maintain eye contact while Thor's saying all these things about him. He isn't sure whether or not Thor's doing this because he thinks that's what Loki wants to hear, but he definitely sounds honest.

"And, fuck, I don't know, you were just so sweet and innocent and it pained me to see you not getting all the love you deserve- I mean. Shit, I'm sorry, it- it's not my place... I didn’t mean to- sorry," Thor says, offering him an apologetic small smile, apparently thinking he stepped out of line with the comment about his mom. Because that's what obviously this was about.

"S'okay," Loki mumbles; he knows his mom wasn't perfect. Far from it, really. But Loki still loves her and he appreciates that Thor is careful about what he's saying about her. Loki shifts closer and snakes his arms around Thor, pulling him in a hug that Thor is quick to return, wrapping Loki in his arms, large palms gently rubbing his back.

"I know it's probably hypocritical for me to say this, since I left without even saying anything, but I really cared about both of you," Thor tells him, bringing a smile on Loki's face. He believes Thor, but even if he didn't, what really matters is that Thor's here with him now.

"I'm glad I met you then and I'm even more glad that I found you now," he whispers and Thor moves slightly away, an adoring, soft expression on his face, and pulls him into a kiss. Loki stumbles on his toes, so Thor doesn't have to keep his head tilted down, and sighs against his lips, threading his fingers through Thor's hair.

Thor rests their foreheads together when they break the kiss, pecking Loki's lips one more time. "How about we get inside now, because I'm starting to freeze?" he says and Loki nods, chuckling; the fool came out here just in his boxers. At least Loki put on a t-shirt! Not that it makes much difference, but still.

He follows Thor inside, but doesn't get to bed when Thor lies down.

"You're not coming?" Thor asks him, sounding a bit concerned.

"I- I don't think I wanna go back to sleep yet," he says and Thor immediately sits up. "Oh no no, it's fine you can sleep. I mean, you _should_ sleep! You got work tomorrow," Loki tells him but Thor ignores him, already getting up and grabbing a sweater to put on.

"We can watch a movie, if you want. I bet you'll be fast asleep before it even ends."

Loki laughs, rolling his eyes. "Shut up, it only happened once," he grumbles half-heartedly but doesn't protest when Thor comes to plaster himself on Loki's back, still hugging him as they make their way to the living room.

They choose a movie and settle on the couch, sitting next to each other, a blanket spread over their laps; neither bothered to put on some pants, after all, and it's a bit chilly even inside the house.

Loki leans close to him, head resting on Thor's shoulder, his hand slipping underneath his sweater so he can play with the soft hair on Thor's chest.

He feels much better than when he woke up, but he's still too restless to just sit there in silence and watch a movie.

"Wanna know a secret?" he says, biting down at his bottom lip to stop himself from giggling as he waits for Thor to answer.

"Mhm," Thor hums, his eyes still on the TV screen.

"I don't really like steak," Loki says and now Thor pushes him slightly away so he can look at him, reaching for the remote control to pause the movie.

"What do you mean you don't like steak?? I cook steak at least once a week," he says, his eyebrows drawing together in a confused frown and Loki grimaces sheepishly.

"Yeah, I know."

"But... I've seen you eat steak," Thor says suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at him.

"I didn't wanna seem rude or ungrateful. And it's not like I hate it! I just... really don't like it. "

Thor snorts and shakes his head in disbelief. "Kid... "

"Sorry," Loki is quick to say, for a moment afraid that Thor will be upset that Loki lied to him.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" Thor tells him and with a large hand on the back of Loki's neck he pulls him closer so he can place a kiss on his forehead; not upset then! "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, you know that, right? What do you actually like to eat?"

"Pretty much everything else, honestly. Oh, I love fish."

Thor gapes at him. "I've never cooked you fish," he says, as if it's truly the biggest tragedy ever and Loki can't help giggling.

"It's okay."

"I'll fix that," Thor promises and then hums, slightly frowning, looking deep in thought. "Wait a minute... Did you lie about my pancakes, too??"

Loki laughs, immediately shaking his head _'no'_. "No no, I love your pancakes, don't worry. Best pancakes ever," he says with a broad grin and leans in to peck Thor's lips, who nods satisfied, looking rather relieved.

"Okay, then."

"Oh, also, I haven't told you this, but sometimes you snore. It's quite loud but kinda cute, too."

Thor groans and fixes him with an unimpressed look that still seems to be rather fond. "Anything else in your Thor-is-insufferable list?" he grumbles, obviously jokingly, and Loki's grin only widens.

"Oh, yes! An important one, actually. You should definitely fix this or we'll have serious problems."

Thor raises his eyebrows expectantly. "What is it?"

"You don't kiss me _nearly_ enough."

Thor laughs, clearly not expecting this, now a broad smile spreading on his lips, as well. "Luckily I think I can start fixing that right now," he says and pulls Loki in a kiss, maneuvering him until Loki's sitting comfortably in his lap.

Loki giggles and then sighs happily into the kiss and wraps his arms around Thor's neck, eagerly parting his lips for Thor's prodding tongue. He guesses they're not heading to bed any time soon- at least not so they can sleep; the mood has obviously changed and he’s more than okay with that.

They pull apart eventually and Loki bites his lower lip, meeting Thor's gaze and looking at him coyly under his eyelashes; Loki has learned how to get to him. "Daddy..." he moans softly and Thor lets out a low growl that goes straight to Loki's dick and then connects their lips together into another kiss, this one more desperate and hungrier than the previous.

Thor tugs the blanket and tosses it on the other corner of the couch, his palms traveling up Loki's bare thighs. Then Thor's hands move underneath him and he gets up, easily picking him up and heading to the bedroom, their lips still attached together.

Loki can't help whining against Thor's mouth, the effortless way Thor carries him being as always a major turn-on, and he rocks his hips forward, trying to grind against Thor's stomach, his cock quickly swelling into full hardness. He gasps and whimpers when Thor gives his ass a firm slap - just hard enough to have Loki's dick twitching in his boxers - and then greedily squeezes the same asscheek in his hand, making Loki arch his back and push into his touch.

Thor tosses him on the mattress once they're there and climbs into the bed, pulling his sweater over his head as he shuffles toward him. Loki is quick to pull his own clothes off, looking more ungraceful than he would like to, but not really caring right now. Once they're both naked, he reaches for the half-empty tube of lube - he makes a mental note to remind himself to buy some the next time they go to the grocery store - and hands it to Thor, before getting on all fours.

They've fucked like this only a couple of times so far; at first Loki thought it'd be impersonal - that's how the previous guys always preferred to fuck him - and he was hesitant, but soon he realized that it had nothing to do with the position.

Because this is Thor and Thor always makes him feel loved and cherished every time they have sex.

So, now, he has actually come to love it; the way Thor grips his hips as he thrusts into him, how Thor doesn't seem to be able to stop touching his ass - always squeezing and kneading it, sometimes giving him playful slaps that have Loki clenching around him -, and how Thor lowers himself over him, his chest flush against Loki's back, pressed wonderfully together.

Not to mention that like this, Thor seems to go even deeper inside him, and Loki absolutely loves having every inch of Thor's glorious cock inside him.

His mind quickly comes back to the present when Thor circles his rim with two fingers, easing them in without much resistance. Loki moans softly, glad that his body is still relaxed and open from a few hours ago when they fucked before going to sleep.

It means he'll have Thor's cock inside him even faster and he whines impatiently, pushing back onto Thor's fingers to urge him to speed up.

Thor laughs, ducking down to plant an open-mouthed kiss on his right asscheek, still working his fingers in and out of him. "Just a little more, baby," Thor tells him and Loki turns his head so he can glare at him- or at least he tries to. It's not easy to glare at Thor when he has two thick fingers inside him and Thor is smiling at him like that; like he doesn't want to look at anything and anyone else ever again.

It's almost too much and Loki averts his gaze, lets his head fall forward, slightly panting as Thor keeps fingering him for a bit longer.

He feels empty when Thor finally pulls out, but tells himself to be a little more patient, knowing what follows now.

The bed dips under Thor's weight as he shifts, reaching to grab a condom from the bedside table.

"Don't," Loki blurts out before he can decide against it, and Thor's head snaps towards him, a confused frown forming on his face.

"What?"

"I mean- can we... _without_?" he mumbles, hoping that Thor will understand.

Loki has been thinking about this since the first time they've fucked, but he didn't exactly know how to ask Thor.

Until now, that is. He really hopes it wasn't a mistake.

"Oh. Are you sure?" Thor asks, looking a bit hesitant but definitely not displeased, and Loki nods firmly, chewing on his lower lip. "Yeah, okay," Thor says, now smiling, and he shifts closer to place a kiss on Loki's cheek, before settling behind him.

Loki can't help grinning, glad that he didn't ruin anything.

He lowers his chest on the bed and rests his head on the pillow, pushes his ass up as he arches his back, waiting for Thor to lube his cock up.

A moment later Thor is pushing into him and Loki breathes out, relaxing his body enough for the fat head to slip inside.

"Fuck," he gasps quietly and grasps the sheets beneath him, his fists clenching around the fabric as Thor slowly slides inside him, the sweet torture lasting more than a few moments as Thor buries himself in his hole inch by inch.

"You good, baby?" Thor asks, caressing his hip with his thumb, staying still as he waits for Loki's answer.

Loki exhales sharply and takes a couple of seconds to adjust to the intrusion, feeling as if Thor's cock is somehow even bigger now without the condom. Then he nods, turning to look at Thor as he says, "move."

Thor starts with slow, deep thrusts, the hold on Loki's hips tightening just a little, his fingers slightly digging into Loki's flesh.

"So hot... and tight," Thor says, grunting, and even though he doesn't increase his pace, this already feels overwhelming.

Thor is fucking him with smooth rolls of his hips, causing his dick to rub just right against Loki's inner walls, making him feel wonderfully stretched and full of Thor's fat cock.

His own dick is twitching and licking, probably having already created a wet spot on the sheets; he's pretty sure he'd only have to stroke himself a couple of times in order to come.

But he doesn't want to do that yet, so he ignores his aching cock, his fists clenching tightly when Thor brushes against his prostate.

" _Daddy_ ," he whines and Thor rewards him with another well-aimed thrust, grunting as Loki's hole convulses around him, almost as if trying to keep Thor's cock buried inside, refusing to let it slide out.

Thor lets out a groan from deep in his throat that has Loki shivering and the next thrust is a bit harder, the pace still languid. Thor now brings his hands to Loki's ass, amazingly large and warm and greedy to touch as much of Loki as possibly, kneading and squeezing the round globes.

"God, I love your ass, baby," Thor rasps as he spreads his cheeks apart, holding them like that as he fucks into him, and Loki can't help blushing, sure that Thor's looking at him down _there_ , watching the way his hole stretches around the thick shaft of his cock.

Not that he doesn't appreciate the compliment, of course. Thor has told him several times already how pretty _his sweet little hole_ is and even though Loki can't really understand how someone can be pretty there, he's more than happy that Thor seems to think so.

Loki tries to push back, urging Thor to go at least a bit faster, but Thor apparently has other plans because he simply continues fucking him like this, having Loki shaking and craving for more.

He whines when Thor's movements suddenly falter but his disappointment is short-lived because Thor is positioning himself over Loki, steadying himself on his elbows to keep his weight off him. Loki lowers himself on the mattress completely and spreads his legs, whimpering quietly as Thor settles there, right above him.

"Baby," Thor murmurs into his ear as he starts moving again, rolling his hips, immediately eliciting a moan from Loki. Thor brushes his hair away with a gentle hand and nuzzles his neck, pressing a kiss right under his ear, before mouthing down his neck, his jaw, his cheek, causing goosebumps to rise all over Loki's flesh.

Loki feels closer and closer to his orgasm with every deep thrust Thor delivers, managing to hit his prostate with precision, and it only gets worse - _better_ ; really fucking better - now that he has some friction against his dick as it rubs against the sheets with every movement. He tries to hold back, wants to finish with Thor, but he can't wait much longer.

"Relax, sweetheart," Thor tells him, probably feeling him tensing; it's only been a couple of weeks since they started being intimate in such a way and Thor seems to already know his body impressively well. "You can let go, Loki, come for me," he says and covers Loki's hands with his own, threading their fingers together.

It feels sweet and affectionate, almost too much but still absolutely perfect, and Thor's fucking him, taking his breath away, and Loki gives in, does as Thor asked him to.

He whines, body tensing and toes curling, his ass tightening around Thor as he comes, spilling on the sheets and all over his stomach.

"Good boy," Thor grunts and Loki tilts his head, still panting, silently begging for a kiss, feeling needy and hungry for Thor- somehow even more than before his orgasm. Thor immediately understands and catches his lips with his own, kissing him passionately yet gently, licking into Loki's mouth, sucking on his lower lip as he pulls away.

"You're so good, sweetheart, so fucking good," he says, slightly squeezing Loki's right hand in his own, and kisses the corner of Loki's mouth, then his cheek and his forehead, Thor's beard brushing over his skin as he does so.

Then without a warning, Thor maneuvers them until they're both lying on their sides, his back still pressed to Thor's board chest.

Thor holds him in his arms as he fucks into him, slow and nice and deep, Loki's dick already swelling in arousal again.

"Fuck, Thor... F- feels so good, daddy," he whines, trying his best to rock backwards, fucking himself onto Thor's cock.

"I love you so much, sweetheart. You're amazing- _perfect_. So perfect for me," Thor says and Loki's stomach tightens both with desire and affection. It's almost as if every word of praise from Thor fills something inside him; something that was missing and he has only found these past months; something he's been longing for all his life.

"You feel so good, Loki... God, baby, you have no fucking idea how incredible you are," Thor tells him, panting, his breathing coming out heavier, and he grips the back of Loki's thigh, pushing his leg up and against his chest, holding it there as he drives deeper into Loki.

Loki turns his head as much as he can, searching for Thor's mouth, even though the angle is anything but comfortable. "Kiss me," he pleads and Thor obliges, leaning closer so he can connect their lips together. Loki reaches behind him, bringing his hand on the back of Thor's head, burying his fingers into his hair as they kiss.

He can finally feel Thor's pace increasing, his movements now growing a bit harder, more desperate, his hold on Loki's thigh tightening.

"Stroke yourself, sweetheart," Thor tells him and Loki's hand moves almost of its own accord, obeying Thor's gentle command before he even thinks about it. He moans when he wraps his fingers around his dick, the sound dying against Thor's mouth, and he strokes himself with firm, fast tugs, matching Thor's pace.

"Getting close, baby," Thor tells him and breaks the kiss completely so he can start pounding into him in earnest, the sound of skin slamming against skin joining their moans.

Loki was sure it would take him a bit longer to reach another orgasm, but just the thought of Thor spilling _inside_ him, without the barrier of the condom, has his dick twitching excitedly in his hand.

"Just a little more, daddy. I- _fuck_ , I'm almost there," he whines, receiving a low grunt in reply. Thor speeds up his rhythm, rutting into him with fast, shallow thrusts, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of Loki's thigh.

They rock together like that for a bit longer, both moaning, their sweaty bodies moving smoothly together, until Thor lets out a loud growl and slams forward one last time, burying his cock deep inside Loki before he starts coming. Loki whimpers brokenly as he feels Thor's hot seed filling him up, finding the strange sensation even more arousing than he thought it'd be.

Just the fact that it's _Thor_ that's doing this, that it's him marking Loki in the inside as well, after all the sweet bruises and hickeys Thor has left on his skin, is enough to send Loki closer to the edge and he only has to stroke himself a few more times before he sobs out Thor's name and comes for a second time, making an even bigger mess of himself.

Thor lets go of his leg, now just caressing it softly, his breath hitting the sweaty skin of the back of Loki's neck, making him shiver as he tries to calm down. Loki closes his eyes and just breathes for a while, relishing the warmth of Thor's body pressed against his own, his lips twitching up every time Thor places a soft kiss on his neck or shoulder.

Thor is the first to move once they have relaxed, going to the bathroom to take a towel, knowing that there's no way they're showering now; Loki already started feeling sleepy again. Thor cleans him with the damp cloth as well as he can, starting from his hand and his stomach.

Loki has almost forgotten the mess inside his ass and he turns bright red when Thor tells him to turn around, asking him if he can push it out as he gently brushes the towel over his hole.

Loki hadn't thought about this when he asked Thor to fuck him without a condom. Next time he probably tell Thor to come _on_ him, instead of inside him. That sounds a bit more practical.

Thor cleans him up and then kisses his forehead, murmuring _good boy_ before taking the towel back to the bathroom and returning to bed.

He yawns as he lies down, covering them both with the blanket, and only now Loki realizes that Thor must have only a couple of hours of sleep left before he has to wake up for work and Loki can't help but feel guilty for not letting him go to sleep.

He shuffles closer to him, bringing his hand to Thor's face, cupping his chin as he strokes his beard. The way Thor seems to immediately melt into his touch makes warmth flood his chest.

Fuck.

Sometimes it's like he loves Thor so much that it hurts. 

Not that he would have it any other way, of course.

"Sorry for keeping you up," he says, offering Thor a small, apologetic smile.

"I think the problem would be if you couldn't keep me up, baby," Thor tells him, grinning and looking quite proud of his joke. It takes Loki a second or two to realize what Thor means and he laughs, nudging Thor's leg with his foot under the blanket.

"You're horrible," he says, still chuckling, the words sounding obviously too fond to be true. 

"And you're amazing," Thor tells him and Loki rolls his eyes, even as his cheeks heat up a little. He wonders if he'll ever get used to receiving praise from Thor or if it will always be like this; always make his stomach tighten and his heart flutter happily in his chest. It's still so strange that Thor offers all those words of praise so casually, so generously, sounding like he truly believes every good thing he says about Loki.

It's fucking crazy. In the best way.

Loki grins and snuggles closer to him, draping a leg over Thor's hips and nestling his head under Thor's chin.

"I love you," he whispers and Thor tightens his hold around him, kissing the top of his head.

"I love you, too, sweetheart," he says and pulls the blanket higher so it'll cover Loki's shoulders, making sure that he's nice and warm.

Loki smiles.

As if he could ever be cold, when he's in Thor's arms.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff, fluff, and more fluff!!🥳

Loki wakes up feeling warm and well-rested, a smile making its way to his face before he even opens his eyes as he feels Thor's body pressed against his back. A heavy arm is wrapped around him, keeping him close, and Loki shifts slightly, trying to bury himself in Thor's embrace as much as possible.

It must be really early, considering that Thor's alarm hasn't even gone off yet, but Loki doesn't feel like going back to sleep. He carefully grips Thor's wrist and turns his palm towards him, running his fingers over the lines and calluses there.

He loves Thor's hands. He loves how they look so large and strong and rough and able to hurt and ruin, but they have only ever been loving and gentle and careful with him.

He places his own palm over Thor's and he can't help smiling at how small and pale his own hand looks in comparison. He entwines their fingers together and gives a little squeeze, his smile growing wider when a deep grunt comes from behind him; someone's waking up!

Another sleepy groan comes from Thor and he tightens his hold around Loki, burying his face in the black mess that is Loki's hair.

"Good morning, baby," Thor rasps, the words - in that damn voice - going straight to Loki's dick. He was already half-hard when he woke up and he blushes when his cock twitches excitedly; all it took for Thor to arouse him was a good morning. It's ridiculous that Thor has such a strong effect on him.

"Morning," he mumbles back, shivering when Thor presses a kiss on the back of his neck. Loki wonders if Thor's little touches and sweet kisses are enough to slowly drive him to an orgasm; he honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point.

"I love waking up with you in my arms," Thor says, his voice still a bit drowsy, and slightly rocks his hips forward, eliciting a soft gasp from Loki.

He can feel Thor's cock pressing against his ass, still not very hard but definitely getting there. Loki rubs himself against Thor, eager to help him with that, and Thor sighs, mouthing at Loki's neck and down his shoulder, trailing any inch of skin he can reach with kisses.

"What time do you have to get to work?" Loki asks, hoping that he's not getting excited for nothing.

He can feel Thor shrug behind him, his lips still attached to Loki's skin as he replies. "Not yet."

Satisfied with Thor's answer, Loki turns around, so they're facing each other; as much as he loves having Thor grinding against his ass, he wants to be kissed, too, and their previous position didn't really allow that.

Thor's smile widens the moment their eyes meet and it's almost too much; being the center of Thor's attention, being looked at with so much love and affection, those breathtaking blue eyes fixed on Loki like he's the most beautiful thing they've ever seen.

Loki can only maintain eye contact for so long before he has to avert his gaze, so he leans in, closing the distance between them as he presses their lips together. Thor responds immediately, sliding his hand over Loki's side and then on his back, the warm palm resting gently there, causing goosebumps to rise all over Loki's skin.

Loki moans into the kiss and hooks his leg over Thor's hips, bringing their bodies closer together, his hand finding its way to Thor's back, blunt nails traveling up and down his spine. The kiss is lazy, deep but slow, and Loki relishes it, enjoying the feeling of Thor's warm lips pressed against his own, their tongues brushing together, their bodies flush against each other.

He loves these slow, gentle touches, but if he's honest he's not that patient; his cock is already hard and leaking in his boxers and judging by the erection nudging his hip, Thor is on the same page with him. He just happens to be much more patient when it comes to this.

It's frustrating sometimes that Thor is usually so in control and composed, due to his age and experience, even when he's aroused, but Loki would be a liar if he said he didn't like it; it's even more satisfying and exciting when Thor can't hold back and finally gives in.

Loki rocks his hips forward, eliciting a groan from Thor as their dicks rub together through the material of their boxers. They keep grinding against each other like that for a while and Loki uses his leg around Thor to keep them close together, not that Thor seems to have any intention to stop this.

Loki moans encouragingly, when he feels Thor's hand slipping inside his boxers, and he reflexively arches his back, his arousal growing stronger as Thor cups and squeezes his ass. Loki breaks the kiss and nuzzles Thor's bearded cheek, as he mouths his way lower, biting playfully at Thor's jaw and smiling when it makes Thor grunt.

He pays attention to his neck next, kissing and sucking and leaving faint marks there, nibbling on the flesh right under his jaw where he has learned Thor is quite sensitive, and indeed it draws a pleased moan from him, his hips rocking forward more urgently, his grip on Loki's ass tightening.

"Baby," Thor sighs, tilting his head up to give him easier access to his neck. Loki traces Thor's skin with his lips, his hands roaming greedily everywhere on Thor's body, kneading his sides, his pecs, the muscles on his arms. He doesn't think he'll ever get bored of touching Thor or being touched by him.

He drifts even lower, licking across his collarbone and pressing kisses to his chest, smiling as the soft hairs there tickle his lips. Then he reaches Thor's nipples and he sucks one of them in his mouth, flicking his tongue against it- admittedly, he hadn't known this felt so good, until Thor did it to him. He pays some attention to them, feeling the little nubs stiffen under his ministrations, and then he makes his way up, his lips stretched into a rather proud smile; he still can't believe that he is the reason Thor's breathing is growing heavier, that he can arouse Thor and make him feel good.

He can only hope he can give Thor at least some of the love and pleasure that Thor so generously offers to him all the time.

The moment Loki has resumed his position from before Thor pulls him into a kiss, and Loki gasps, eagerly opening up for Thor, granting him access into his mouth.

He doesn't know what Thor's plans are, whether he has any intentions to take this further or not, but Loki knows what he wants; he just hopes it's not too late and Thor has to go to work.

Even though, Thor rarely - almost never, really - tells him no.

"I want you inside me, daddy," Loki says, barely breaking the kiss, their lips still pressed together.

Thor groans, biting gently at Loki's lower lip, licking over it as he pulls back. "Yeah, baby?" he says and he squeezes Loki's ass, slipping his middle finger between his cheeks so he can tease his opening. "How badly do you want me, baby? Does your sweet, little hole feel empty without daddy's cock inside?" He asks, the filthy words bringing a deep blush on Loki's face, even though he loves it when Thor talks to him like that.

"Yes, daddy, please. Want you so badly," Loki whines, lips curling into a soft pout and eyes widening almost innocently, simply because he likes the way Thor seems unable to resist him when Loki looks at him like that.

"Okay, sweetheart, okay. Whatever you want. You know I can't resist you," Thor says, pecking his lips one more time, and then they both reluctantly pull away so they can remove their underwear, Thor reaching for the lube the moment he's naked. He slicks up two fingers and stretches Loki with patient, efficient movements, pumping the digits in and out, spreading the lube all over his inner walls.

Loki, unsurprisingly, isn't that patient, and he reaches for Thor's cock, moaning as he wraps his fingers around the thick shaft. He loves how it feels in his hand, hot and big and heavy, how his fingers can't even close around its base, how it throbs when he traces the thick vein on the underside or when he circles the head with his thumb. Thor's cock is perfect, just like the rest of him.

And Loki wants him inside him _now_.

"Thor, come on. I'm ready," he says urgently, wiggling his ass that's still stuffed with two thick fingers. They've been fucking often enough during these last weeks that he doesn't need to be prepped as thoroughly and carefully as in the beginning. Still, he can't say he doesn't appreciate how attentive Thor is.

Thor fingers him just a bit longer - obviously wanting to make sure he's well prepared - and then removes the two digits, before proceeding to lube himself up.

Loki moves his leg higher over Thor's waist and lets Thor guide him to his cock, whimpering weakly as the head nudges his rim, starting to push inside.

Thor grabs one asscheek and spreads it apart as he slowly slides in, eliciting a whine from Loki as his hole stretches widely around Thor's cock. There's now that sweet burn he always feels at first as Thor buries himself inside him, and he takes a few deep breaths, relaxing his body and welcoming Thor in. The kisses Thor is planting all over his face help, too.

"Are you alright, baby?" Thor asks and Loki nods, deciding to show him just how okay he is by grinding onto his cock, encouraging him to start moving.

They rock together like that, holding each other, their lips attached together into a messy, hungry kiss.

It's almost like every time they have sex it gets better; more sensual and hot and intimate. He supposes it probably makes sense. They learn one another's body, they know better now how to fuck and kiss and simply touch each other, and Loki knows that the longer he's with Thor, he safer he feels; more relaxed, more certain that he can trust Thor to not hurt him, less afraid to be vulnerable in front of him.

He hopes Thor feels he can trust him, too. Loki would never hurt him; definitely not on purpose!

"I love you," he says, suddenly overcome with emotion, and Thor smiles at him, leaning in to kiss the corner of his lips.

"I love you, too, baby."

Loki mirrors the smile Thor has on his face and cups his cheek, connecting their lips together into a soft kiss, pouring all his love into it, hoping that Thor can understand.

"I could get used to starting my day like this every morning," Thor says and Loki smiles again, nodding. "God, I love making you smile, you know that? You're even more beautiful when you look happy," Thor tells him and Loki's not surprised to feel his cheeks slightly heating up.

"I am happy. _You_ make me happy," he says earnestly and his heart does that funny thing it always does when Thor smiles at him, blue eyes looking at him softly, adoringly.

"That's all I want, kid. That's all I want," Thor says earnestly, kissing him again.

They don't talk much after that, focusing on just grinding together, Thor's thrusts into him growing harder as they keep fucking. Their moans only get louder, more desperate, and Loki tries to rub his dick against Thor's lower stomach, needing some friction. It's not much, but proves to be more than enough because Loki feels his groin tightening, his orgasm quickly approaching.

He warns Thor he's close and receives a nod and a grunt in reply, apparently Thor not being far behind either.

They reach their climax almost simultaneously, Loki grinding against Thor's stomach, spilling and making a mess of both of them, and Thor coming inside him, some of it dripping out of Loki's hole as he keeps fucking in.

They're both panting by the time they're done, staying silent and just breathing for a while, neither of them moving away. Loki closes his eyes, slowing relaxing; he kind of likes having Thor still inside him even after they have finished. Even though he knows he'll be a horrible mess afterwards.

"I think next time I want you to come on me. Maybe on my ass, or on my back. Oh! Or on my face- would that be weird?" he asks, letting his eyes flutter open, and he only realizes what exactly he said when Thor lets out a surprised laugh.

"Baby," Thor says, looking at him fondly and still chuckling, and presses a loud kiss on Loki's lips. "You're unbelievable, you know that? You can't just say things like that. I'm an old man, you might give me a heart attack."

Loki laughs, his cheeks turning pink even though he knows Thor is only joking. "Sorry," he says, anyway, and moves closer to him so he can bury his face into Thor's neck and hide.

"And to answer your question, no that wouldn't be weird. We can do whatever you want. I bet you'll look beautiful with my cum all over you."

"Yeah? Okay, next time on my face, then," he says determinedly, even though his cheeks are still on fire, and Thor laughs again but nods.

They don't get to say anything else because Thor's alarms rings then and he has to get up and start getting ready for work.

Which honestly sucks because Loki would love to just stay in bed and cuddle with him all day.

Especially cuddling with Thor's cock inside him would be great.

Another time!

He lies on his stomach, as Thor gets up, nuzzling Thor's pillow and smiling when he inhales his scent. He'll have to get up, too, soon to clean himself up but for now he's too lazy to move.

He frowns, when he sees Thor staring at his ass, smirking, and Loki’s eyes narrow suspiciously as he waits for an explanation.

"What?" He says and cranes his neck to see what has Thor smirking like that, only to roll his eyes when he sees red handprint Thor has left there.

Not that Loki doesn't like it, if he's honest.

"So fucking pretty, baby," Thor says and ducks down to plant an open-mouthed kiss on the red cheek, making Loki squirm and giggle.

"Go! You'll be late," Loki tells him, but he gladly accepts the kiss Thor now presses on his lips.

Thor goes to the bathroom after that and Loki is tempted to just continue being lazy in their bed, but he decides he wants to make breakfast for Thor. He doesn't get to do that a lot, since Thor is usually the one that takes care of most meals, so today is a great opportunity!

He cleans himself up with some wet wipes - shower will have to wait for now - and puts on his boxers and a worn t-shirt of Thor's, before heading to the kitchen.

He starts with the pancakes - Thor has shown him how to make the _fluffiest_ pancakes and now, not to brag, but his pancakes are even better than Thor's! - and then makes coffee, takes from the fridge everything else they might need.

He's placing the plates on the table when Thor appears in the kitchen, raising his eyebrows in surprise. Loki thinks Thor looks quite impressed and it makes his chest fill with pride.

"You didn't have to," Thor tells him as he shuffles towards him, and Loki shrugs, wrapping his arms around Thor's neck the moment he's close enough to do that.

"I wanted to," he says and leans in for a brief kiss. Thor cups his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb, his expression soft and loving when they pull away.

"Thank you," he says and he truly sounds grateful, which is honestly ridiculous if you ask Loki. Thor has done so much for him; making him breakfast once in a while is nothing in comparison.

"I'm really happy you're in my life, you know that?" Thor tells him, not for the first time, and Loki smiles, not quite able to maintain eye contact for too long, moving closer to kiss Thor's cheek.

"The pancakes will get cold," he whispers and Thor grins at him widely, thankfully not mad at Loki's inadequate answer, leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead.

They talk a bit as they eat - it's nice; domestic - but soon Thor has to go to work and Loki is left alone at home.

He can't help but smile at the word.

_home_

When he first moved out of his old house, he never thought he would find a home again.

To find an apartment or any place he could simply live in, sure. That wasn't impossible. But he was certain nothing would feel like home again.

He was obviously wrong because here he is, smiling and doing the dishes after enjoying his breakfast with someone he loves and loves him back.

Sometimes it's still hard to believe this is truly his life now.

He still misses his mom, of course, and some days are worse than others, but it's nice - more than nice, really - to have a home and someone that makes him feel safe and loved and happy.

The smile doesn't disappear from his face all day, staying there as he does some chores around the house, as he sits at the desk in his room and draws.

Not that he really considers it _his_ room, now. He hasn't slept there in forever! He still, however, likes to spend time in that room because he loves how sunny and bright it is, especially when he wants to draw. He loves being with Thor all the time, but he also appreciates having a place he can be alone and just draw and enjoy his privacy.

Privacy wasn't something he had the privilege to enjoy when he was younger, since even in his room it wasn't easy to block the voices coming from the living room or his mom's bedroom. So, now he really appreciates being able to just peacefully sit at his desk and draw and listen to music.

He spends most of his afternoon like that, eats a sandwich for lunch - hoping that Thor won't ask him because according to him _that's not enough food for lunch_ \- and decides to make pasta for dinner.

He starts cooking a bit late, not wanting the food to get cold by the time Thor is home.

He usually doesn't bother Thor when he's at work unless it's something serious, but he kind of missed him today, so he takes a selfie of himself, making sure the pasta and the tomato sauce are clear in the background and sends it to Thor.

**To: Thor** ❤️  
Waiting for you❤️

He doesn't expect a reply so soon, but it only takes Thor a couple of minutes to see the text and answer.

**From: Thor** ❤️  
Delicious

Loki grins and is about to reply but stops when he sees that Thor is typing something else.

**From: Thor** ❤️  
The food looks good too

That elicits a surprised laugh from him, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

_Absolutely ridiculous!_

Only Thor could make him laugh and smile and blush just with two texts.

**To: Thor** ❤️  
😇😇😇😇

Loki replies and can't help but giggle as he imagines Thor frowning, confused about the exact meaning of the emojis; he's not a big fan of them. Loki knows he won't be getting a reply - Thor will be home soon, anyway - so he places his phone on the table and focuses on finishing their dinner.

Loki has just finished cleaning the kitchen counter when he hears the keys at the front door. He quickly wipes his hands and literally runs to Thor, all but throwing himself to him.

"You're home!" he says excitedly, grinning when Thor easily catches him with a hand under his ass, his other one busy holding a grocery bag and his jacket.

Loki has been thinking about Thor the whole day and it might be completely ridiculous, but he really missed him.

"Hey," Thor says and laughs a bit incredulously, looking quite surprised at the enthusiastic welcome.

Loki snakes his arms around Thor's neck, legs wrapped securely around his waist, and kisses his lips, his cheeks, his neck, whining in protest when Thor tries to pull away.

"Baby. I fucking stink," he says and Loki laughs, shooting him a playful glare.

"No, you don't! Okay, maybe just a little," he admits, giving Thor a sheepish grin. "But I _missed_ you."

Thor smiles at him and lets the bag and his jacket fall on the floor, maneuvering him in his hold with both arms now, so they're more comfortable.

"Someone's really needy, today," Thor teases him and Loki shrugs his shoulder a bit self-consciously, averting his gaze downwards; he didn't want to seem too clingy and annoy Thor. "You know, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day. All I wanted to do," Thor says, tipping Loki's chin up with two fingers, making him look at him, "was to come home and take you to bed, so I could cuddle you and hold you and make love to you."

Loki's eyes widen at the words - it's one thing to think about it or simply do it, and another one to say it so casually -, a blush spreading on his cheeks and down his neck. "Shut up," he mumbles and nudges Thor's cheek with his own, smiling when Thor lets out a fond chuckle.

"The food's ready, by the way," he says, just to make sure they'll change subject, not sure if he can handle hearing Thor talk like that without blushing himself to death.

"What'd I do without you, hm?" Thor tells him and kisses his cheek, and Loki pulls away, looking at him with an unimpressed expression.

"Oh, please! You're the one always taking care of me."

"I beg to differ."

Loki rolls his eyes and decides to not insist - even though he's right! - not wanting the food to get any colder.

"Now put me down and go shower. And don't take too long!"

"Yes, sir," Thor says teasingly and does as he's told, pressing a kiss to Loki's lips before heading to the bathroom.

Loki tries to be annoyed when he sees that Thor has forgotten to take his jacket and the grocery bag that are still abandoned on the floor, but he's in a very good mood and he can't stop grinning, only shaking his head fondly as he ducks down to pick them up.

Half an hour later they're sitting on the couch, eating pasta and watching a movie. Loki finishes his food first - he had less than half of what Thor's eating, so that's not surprising - and places his bowl on the table, shifting slightly closer to Thor, who turns his head and smiles at him, both cheeks round and full with pasta. Like an adorable huge chipmunk.

Loki grins at him, before returning his attention to the movie. They're watching a comedy today and Loki's laughing as the main characters talk about the worst and most embarrassing dates they've been on, when he suddenly realizes something.

"Oh. I've never actually been on a date. Can we go on a date?" he blurts out the question before really thinking about it, and Thor looks at him surprised, mouth full of pasta.

Loki panics a little when he realizes what he said, but tries not to show it; he doesn't even know if Thor and he do dates. Are they actually officially together? Sure, they've said I love you - several times, so far, and they have sex - but does that make them official? Loki isn't sure how it works; it's not like he's done any of this before. 

Perhaps Thor doesn't want to be seen out with Loki- well, except for when they go to the grocery store and when he comes to pick Loki up from the diner, but that's obviously different; that's not a date.

"Sorry, that's stupid- I'm stupid. Forget it," he says, feeling embarrassed, immediately turning his gaze to the TV, hoping they can simply pretend he never mentioned anything. Why would he even say that?! If Thor wanted them to go on a date, he would have said so!

"Loki, baby. That's not stupid and neither are you," Thor says gently and places his plate on the table. "I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that," he adds and brings his hand on Loki's chin, encouraging him to look at him.

Loki glances at Thor and shrugs his shoulder, not sure what to say. "M'sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I just want you try to be kinder to yourself. Could you do that for me?"

Loki nods his head, even though he can't help frowning a little; that's a weird thing to ask someone.

"Good. Because you're amazing and you should know that, too," Thor continues and Loki just shrugs again awkwardly, but this time his lips twitch up into a small smile. Thor tells him he's good and amazing and worthy of love and other good things so often, that Loki has started to actually believe him, even though it's not always so easy.

"So, about the date-" Thor starts, but Loki immediately shakes his head, interrupting him.

"We don't have to!"

"Hey, we can go on as many dates as you want, okay, baby? It'd be a good opportunity for me to show you off a little," Thor says with a playful wink, his smile still soft and affectionate.

Loki chuckles, feeling giddy now; they're actually going to go on a date! And Thor wants to be seen with him!!

"So, where should we go for our first date?" Thor asks him and Loki chews on the inside of his cheek as he tries to think; he usually doesn't mind letting Thor take most decisions, but this is his _first date_ and he wants it to be perfect.

"Oh! Can we go to the movies? I haven't been in years!" he says excitedly and Thor immediately nods his head in agreement.

"We definitely can," Thor tells him and easily pulls him into his lap so Loki's sitting on his thighs sideways, Thor's arms wrapped around him. "You know I can never say no to you, anyway."

Loki rolls his eyes at him, even though he knows it's kind of true. He tries to not ask for much, or at least not anything unreasonable, but Thor rarely - if ever - tells him no.

"Does that mean I have you wrapped around my little finger?" he jokes and Thor chuckles but nods.

"Absolutely," he agrees, leaning in to kiss the corner of Loki's mouth and Loki is unable to hold back his smile. "My smart, beautiful baby," Thor murmurs as he peppers his cheeks with little kisses, easily making Loki's face flush pink.

"You're ridiculous," Loki tells him, still enjoying the kisses, and he can feel Thor's smile against his cheek.

"Maybe," Thor says and now kisses his jaw, making a shiver rush through Loki.

Loki licks his lips and glances at the bowls on the table, before turning his gaze to Thor.

"Do we have to do the dishes tonight?"

"Nah. We can always do them tomorrow."

Loki nods and shifts on Thor's lap so he's straddling him. "And what about the movie? Do we have to finish it tonight?" He asks cheekily, biting his lower lip as he looks at Thor.

Thor laughs, the deep rumbling sound sending a thrill of excitement through Loki, and he squeezes Loki's thighs, pulling him closer to him. "Definitely not."

Loki grins, leaning in to nip at Thor's lip. "Bedroom, please?"

"Please what?" Thor asks, both sounding and looking quite smug, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a little smirk.

_What an asshole!_

Loki loves him so much.

"Please, _daddy_?" He says and bats his eyelashes at Thor, letting out a delighted laugh when Thor makes a satisfied, deep, growling sound and gets up with Loki in his arms, taking them to the bedroom.

This day is about to get even better.

"Wanna sit on my face, baby?"

Loki squirms excitedly, nodding his head immediately; so, _so_ much better!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally the last chapter!! I really hope you enjoy it ❤️
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and bookmarks and lovely comments. I really appreciate it 🥰🥰

Loki is excited. And maybe a little bit nervous-

Or more like _really_ fucking nervous, but he thinks he's allowed to be, considering this is his first date.

And it's with _Thor_ , no less. Loki couldn't have dared imagine this even in his wildest dreams.

But it's real and it's happening and Loki's going to be late if he doesn't find anything nice to wear. Thor is already dressed and ready to go, waiting patiently for him in the living room.

Loki spent almost half an hour trying to tame his stupid hair - that for some reason decided to be curlier than usual today - shooing Thor out of the bathroom when Thor got worried and wanted to check if everything was alright, telling Loki that he's sure his hair would be lovely no matter what. Loki wanted to yell at him and protest - because his hair would absolutely not be lovely; he _knows_ it - but he appreciated Thor's words, his lips twitching up in a smile despite himself.

In the end he managed to make his curls look sort of cute, even though still annoyingly messy.

He thought that was the hard part of the process, but apparently he was wrong.

He had decided what he was going to wear almost since they had made the plans for their date, but when he actually put the clothes on earlier today, everything was just... _fucking awful_.

And okay he knows he's being quite dramatic, but things really are serious! For a moment he even considered canceling the whole thing. Of course, he immediately shook that thought out of his head; he would go on a date with Thor today, even if he had to go wearing his pajamas!

He lets out a defeated sigh and looks around his room, grimacing at the mess of clothes on the bed. He rummages through the pile of clothes there, pausing when he sees a pair of black skinny jeans- the ones Thor really seems to like, having pointed out a couple of times how delicious they make Loki's ass look.

Loki nods his head determinedly; okay, these will do.

And perhaps this is the right time to finally ask Thor what he's been meaning to ask him for a while now.

He quickly makes his way to the living room, grimacing a little when he sees the time. "Hey, Thor," he says, drawing his attention, and Thor raises his eyebrows at him questioningly, probably because Loki's still wearing his pajamas. Thankfully Thor doesn't tease him or makes any comment about him taking so long to get ready. "Uhm, yeah hey, can I borrow something to wear from your clothes?"

Thor looks a bit confused now, as if he thinks he didn't hear right or something - understandably so; they definitely don't wear the same size - but then he nods. "Uh, yes, sure. Of course you can."

"Yeah? Thanks," Loki says excitedly and rushes to Thor, planting a kiss on his cheek, before all but running to Thor's room. He rummages inside his closer, already knowing what he's looking for, and makes a triumphant sound when he finds the white-grey-black plaid shirt he was searching for.

He's quick to go back to his room after that, changing into his skinny jeans and a white plain t-shirt, before putting the flannel on. It's obviously too big on him, as he was expecting, but it looks oversized in a quite cute way, if he says so himself. Besides, it smells like Thor and Loki really loves wearing his clothes and practically swimming in them, so he likes it well enough. He just hopes Thor finds it nice, too.

He checks himself in the mirror one last time before _finally_ deciding he's ready to go; it's not what he imagined for their first date, but it'll do!

"I'm ready," he yells, as he puts on his shoes, and then heads to the front door where Thor is already waiting for him.

He can see Thor's eyes shamelessly roam all over his body as he approaches and he pointlessly tries to fight the blush he feels creeping up on his cheeks.

"Like I said, _lovely_ ," Thor tells him and cups his face in a large hand, gently tilting Loki's head up so he can press a kiss to his lips, before pulling away again. "My shirt looks much better on you."

"Maybe I'll keep it," he says teasingly, grinning, his cheeks still bright red.

"You should."

Loki will definitely not; he prefers stealing Thor's clothes from his closet so they smell like him.

"We should go, we'll be late for the movie," Thor says then, grabbing his denim jacket and his keys.

It takes Loki a moment or two to realize what Thor said, too busy being lost in Thor's eyes- because apparently that's a thing that happens; or at least it does when you have Thor right in front of you and looking like that. The light blue shirt he's wearing brings Thor's eyes out even more and it's almost impossible to look away.

"You're beautiful," he blurts out, eliciting a surprised laugh from Thor. The truth is he doesn't usually give Thor compliments, not exactly sure how to do that without dying from embarrassment, even though he spends hours every day thinking about how perfect and hot and amazing Thor is. It's just hard to put it into words, but he’s been trying lately.

"I'm only trying to keep up, baby," Thor tells him smoothly and winks at him - and that should _not_ be that sexy -, holding the door open for Loki.

It makes Loki's heart flutter excitedly, his grin widening.

He's not an expert on dates or anything, but he thinks this is definitely a good start.

Half an hour later they have gotten their tickets and are waiting in line to buy some popcorn. Everything seems to be going well, but Loki's nervousness is only getting worse since they left the apartment, no matter how hard he tries to relax.

The fact that he feels like everyone's looking at him - at them - judgmentally, doesn't help either. It's just that it's their first time being in public _together_ and Loki doesn't really know how to act and he can't fucking stop chewing nervously on his lower lip, his hands fidgeting. He probably looks awkward as fuck.

He lets his gaze wander around the room, trying to convince himself that people are _not_ staring at him, and he frowns a little when he notices a woman looking at them, or more like at _Thor_ \- because she doesn't even seem to have noticed Loki standing beside him - eyeing him obviously in interest.

Loki's stomach clenches with something ugly and bitter that he's pretty sure is jealousy; he knows they don't really look like a couple, doubts anyone will see them and think they're in a relationship, so of course the woman is looking. Loki won't be surprised if she comes to talk to Thor any time now-

And okay, Loki can't have that.

Thor is his and _only_ his and Thor also told him he wanted to show him off, so there's no reason why Loki can't just plaster himself to Thor's side or lean in for a kiss.

So that's exactly what he does.

He stumbles on his toes and presses a sweet kiss to the corner of Thor's lips, smiling when Thor looks at him with a fond, slightly surprised expression. Then Loki wraps an arm around Thor's waist and tucks himself under Thor's arm, feeling safe and at home again, some of the tension leaving his body.

"You okay, baby?" Thor asks a bit cautiously and Loki doesn't like that he sounds worried; they're supposed to be having fun! He gives Thor a big grin, nodding.

"Mhm. This is exciting," he says - it's not a lie, after all -, determined to not let anything ruin his mood.

His reply earns him a wide, fond smile from Thor and a kiss on the top of his head that absolutely makes him swoon inside, his cheeks going pink again.

They finally get to buy their popcorn after waiting for a few more minutes and Thor pays for everything - both for the tickets and the snacks -, even though Loki insists it was his idea and he should be the one that pays. Thor, of course, ignores him.

The auditorium is mostly empty when they get there, so Loki guides Thor to the seats in the back, ignoring the number of the seats on their tickets- and Thor's questioning look.

They don't have to wait long before the movie starts - they did get there kind of late, after all - and Loki can't stop grinning, feeling giddy and restless, too excited to even eat his popcorn.

"This is so fun," he whispers to Thor's ear, pressing a kiss to his lips when Thor turns his head to smile at him. Loki snuggles closer to him and nuzzles his shoulder, inhaling Thor's scent; he always smells so nice, Loki loves it. It's a combination of cologne and Thor's natural scent that just does _things_ to Loki.

It also makes his mind immediately wander to what he's been thinking about the last few days. It had sounded silly at first, but right now he's kind of horny - and okay that's the case most of the time when he's around Thor, but still - and he really wants to do it. Besides, the movie looks good, but not good enough to distract him from Thor.

He leans a bit closer to Thor, so he can whisper to his ear again, feeling himself blush even before he speaks. "Is it now that I'm supposed to give you a blow job?"

He can't help but grin when Thor almost chokes on his popcorn, has to cough a few times and clear his throat before replying.

"Jesus, kid, you're gonna kill me one day."

"It was a genuine question, Thor," Loki tells him, offering him a playful, innocent smile. 

"Baby..." Thor says warningly, fixing Loki with a serious look that Loki would find absolutely intimidating two months ago, but now it just makes his dick twitch in interest.

"Yes, daddy?" he replies sweetly and only hesitates a moment before slipping his hand between Thor's legs, pressing it against Thor's crotch; he can feel his dick through the denim, slowly starting to harden. "I just _really_ wanna suck your cock, daddy," he continues, pouting at Thor; his cheeks are on fire but _God_ , this is fun!

He'll honestly be very surprised if Thor tells him no after all that.

"This isn't fair, you know," Thor says, his voice sounding rougher now, and Loki giggles quietly, keeps rubbing Thor's cock over his jeans.

"Pretty please, daddy?" he asks and has to wait only for a moment before Thor finally gives in and nods his head. Loki grins triumphantly and gives Thor a kiss on the cheek as he works his jeans open, hearing Thor's breath hitch when he finally manages to get his cock out.

He ducks down and doesn't waste any time before taking the head in his mouth, suckling on it languidly while running his tongue around it. Thor is still only half hard, his dick twitching and hardening rather quickly now as Loki keeps sucking and licking.

Loki loves this; loves how Thor's body reacts to him, how he can feel him swelling up inside his mouth, how thick and heavy and perfect Thor's cock feels against his tongue.

It's not long before Thor is fully hard, precum leaking from the tip. It makes Loki all the more eager to take him deeper and he only barely manages to stop himself from moaning when Thor's hand finds the back of his head. Fingers thread through his hair, gently tugging at it, and even though he already knows his hair will be a mess afterwards - when he spent _at least_ half an hour to tame it - he absolutely doesn't give a fuck about it. If he's honest, he would love to ask Thor to pull a bit harder, but he doesn't trust himself not to moan out loud the moment his mouth isn't full of cock, so he'll just settle for this right now.

He builds up a steady pace, bobbing his head up and down and hollowing his cheeks as he sucks on Thor's cock, doing his best to breathe through his nose when the fat head hits the back of his throat. It makes his eyes water and he has to try to not choke on it, but he relishes the way Thor fills him up so completely, loves making Thor feel good, likes knowing that Thor has to hold himself back so he won't lose control and just fuck his mouth and take what he wants.

It's a heady feeling and Loki feels another wave of arousal rush through him, his hard dick pressing against the zipper of his jeans. He ignores it and instead just focuses on Thor, sucking and licking, increasing his pace as Thor gets closer to the edge. He uses one hand to stroke the rest of Thor's cock that he can't fit in his mouth, the spit dripping down the thick shaft making the slide up and down easier.

Thor is breathing heavily, almost panting now, and while he always talks when they're having sex - unless his mouth is busy of course - right now it seems like he's simply trying to stay quiet, which is probably not very easy if his stifled, low grunts are anything to go by. Loki misses hearing Thor's words while he does this - Thor always tells him how amazing he is, how well he's doing, how sweet his mouth is and how pretty he looks with his lips wrapped around his cock, how beautiful and perfect he is, made just for Thor - but he likes knowing this has such a strong effect on Thor, even without having to hear the words.

He can feel Thor tense now, his hips bucking up just a little, his grip on Loki's hair tightening. Loki pulls off completely to breathe for a second or two, looking up at Thor through wet eyelashes, before resuming what he was doing, redoubling his efforts.

He works the tongue around the head and the shaft, just like he knows Thor likes it, feeling him throb inside his mouth. He lets himself go completely pliant in Thor's hands as Thor starts to guide his movements, pushing Loki's head onto the hard length and feeding him his cock, making him swallow him deeper every time he rocks his hips upwards.

Loki hums quietly in pleasure and does his best to match the movements of his hand with the pace Thor sets, happy to let Thor take over and use his mouth however he wants, trusting Thor to not give him more than he can handle.

It's only seconds later when Thor pushes in one last time before stilling, his cock pulsing inside Loki's mouth as he comes, spurts of hot cum sliding down Loki's welcoming throat. Loki keeps suckling on the head, ignoring the aching of his jaw, and stops only once he has milked him empty, swallowing everything and pulling away when Thor starts softening.

"Fuck, You're _beautiful_ , baby. Fucking amazing," Thor says once Loki has settled back on his seat, still a little breathless, his voice raspy and low and really fucking sexy. Loki has to press his thighs together to stop himself from spilling in his boxers; it's ridiculous what just Thor's words and voice can make him feel. He smiles when Thor gently cups his face and runs his thumb over his lower lip, wiping the spit off. Loki kisses the tip of Thor's finger, wonders if his lips look as swollen and used as they feel, if Thor loves seeing him like this, mouth red and puffy, cheeks flushed and tearstained.

It makes Loki feel pretty in a filthy, naughty way and he likes it.

"Want me to return the favor, sweetheart?" Thor asks, now his hand curled gently around the side of Loki's neck, his thumb caressing Loki's jaw.

"I don't think that would be very good for your back, daddy," Loki says teasingly, chuckling quietly when Thor makes an offended expression.

"Little brat. My back is just fine," he huffs but Loki shakes his head, leaning closer to capture his lips in a soft kiss.

"That was just for you," he explains and continues immediately when it's obvious that Thor is ready to object. "I'm good, really. But you can definitely return the favor later, when we get home."

"Okay, baby. Whatever you want," Thor agrees, pulling him in for a kiss and wrapping his arm around Loki as they both settle back in their seats.

"So, any idea what's happening in the movie?"

Thor laughs, probably louder than he intended to, but thankfully they're watching a comedy, so the sound doesn't earn them any disapproving looks. "Perhaps you should have paid more attention, baby," Thor tells him and Loki rolls his eyes, his grin widening; he's sure Thor has no idea what's going on in the movie, either.

"Sorry, got distracted," he says with an innocent shrug, giggling when Thor shakes his head, his expression turning into that fond and amused one that says _'you're a brat and I love you'_.

He sighs happily and leans against Thor, resting his head on his shoulder. He spends the rest of the movie snuggled up to Thor, annoying him with random questions about the movie and welcoming the popcorn Thor feeds him.

They decide to go for a walk and ice cream afterwards- well, Loki suggests it and Thor of course says yes. It's still quite early and Loki doesn't want their date to end just yet. He knows it's a bit ridiculous, considering that they live together and he'll still be with Thor when they get home, but this is nice and he's having fun and he wants it to last just a little longer.

And he also _really_ likes walking with Thor's arm wrapped around him while eating his delicious ice cream- his _and_ Thor's.

"Hey, I wanna try yours, too. Gimme," he says, fluttering his eyelashes sweetly as he looks up at Thor.

Thor rolls his eyes, as if annoyed but quite obviously fond, and then offers Loki his ice cream. Loki grins and leans in to lick some of the chocolate goodness, only to yelp in surprise when Thor pushes the ice cream to his nose.

" _Ugh_ , Thor!" he shrieks, grimacing, and he tries to glare at Thor but it's really hard to do so when Thor looks so carefree, laughing and grinning at him, apparently quite proud of himself. He looks genuinely happy; Loki loves this look on him.

Loki stays still as Thor reaches to clean him with one of the napkins the ice cream store gave them, smiling when Thor leans in and places a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"So sweet," he murmurs and Loki giggles and nudges him with his shoulder.

"Stop it," he whines, but doesn't pull away when Thor starts peppering his face with little kisses. He's pretty sure his heart will explode from too much happiness and love. "My ice cream is melting," he grumbles, mostly just to be a brat, but also because his fingers are actually starting to get sticky.

Thor makes a displeased noise but pulls away, wraps his arm around Loki again so they can keep going. "You owe me some kisses later," he says and Loki grins, nodding eagerly.

They walk silently for a while after that, finishing their ice cream and simply enjoying their time together.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Thor says some minutes later and even though his voice sounds pleasant and calm, Loki's first instinct is to panic.

Isn't that what people say when they're about to say something bad?

"Hey, no no. It's nothing bad, baby. At least, I don't think so," Thor says immediately, probably sensing his worry, and Loki nods, but his frown doesn't disappear; that didn't sound very reassuring.

"Thor," he says quietly, asking him to continue.

"Yes yes, right, sorry," Thor says quickly, giving him a warm smile, before continuing. "So, here's the thing. A friend of mine has an art gallery and I saw him a few days ago and I talked to him about you. And before you say anything, I know your art is something very personal to you and I don't want you to feel pressured by this or anything, but he generally supports and promotes new artists, and he would love to see your work, perhaps even put some of your drawings on display at his gallery. If that's something you'd like, of course," Thor tells him and Loki looks at him with wide eyes, trying to processes everything he heard.

"I know I should have asked you first, but I wanted it to be a surprise - a good one, I hope - and I didn't want to tell you and get your hopes up before talking to him."

"It- it's okay," Loki says quickly because even though his brain is still trying to catch up with everything, he knows for sure he's not mad at Thor.

Still, he doesn't know how to feel about all this. He knows it's a great opportunity but he's not sure if he's ready. He shared his drawings with Thor because he trusts him, but the thought of showing them to a stranger makes him uncomfortable and nervous. What if his work isn't good enough and Thor's friend regrets offering to help?

"Fuck," Thor mutters and stops walking, turning Loki to him so they're looking at each other. "I shouldn't have talked to him without telling you first, should I? Shit, baby, I'm really sorry. I thought it was a good idea-"

"No no, Thor, it's fine. You didn't do anything wrong," Loki says and it really _is_ fine, but at the same time it isn't, and he tries to find a way to explain this to Thor, worrying his lower lip with his teeth as he usually does when his thoughts are being a complete mess.

"I don't mind that you talked to your friend about me, it's actually very sweet, _really_. I’m not mad at you or anything. But I... I've never shown my drawings to anyone else other than you. And I do believe you when you say you really liked them, but you liked even the horrible one I did ten years ago, so you're not the most reliable-"

" _Hey_ now!" Thor says, as if offended, and Loki offers him a sheepish smile before continuing.

"So I'm just- I don't know, Thor. I guess I worry because... what if they're just not good enough? What if _I'm_ not good enough?" He finally confesses, feeling too vulnerable and exposed and unable to meet Thor's eyes.

"Baby, you're _amazing_. And I'm not saying that just because I love you. It's simply the truth," Thor tells him firmly and cups his face, gently making Loki look up at him again; unsurprisingly, the words don't fail to bring a smile to Loki's lips. "And actually my friend also told me about some classes you could take, if you're interested. Absolutely no pressure, of course. I just want you to know that you have options, okay? Take your time, think about it, that's all. Can you do that for me?"

Loki nods, his smile widening a little, the tension slowly leaving his body; Thor always knows what to say and do to soothe him. "Yeah, okay. I can do that."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Thor says, his warm gaze and the pet name spoken so fondly immediately making Loki's cheeks heat up. Thor smiles at him and then pulls him into a soft kiss, easing Loki's worries even more. He still feels a little overwhelmed but he tells himself he has time to think about it; no reason to worry about it now.

He can still enjoy the rest of their date.

They start to slowly walk back to the car after that and Thor makes jokes and teases him and presses kisses to the top of his head, obviously trying to lighten up the mood, which he manages to do rather successfully, because less than a minute later Loki is smiling and laughing again.

"This was an amazing first date!" Loki says when they're approaching the car, earning a beautiful, broad grin from Thor.

"I'm glad you had fun, baby. What do you wanna do on our next date?"

"Oh! We'll go on _another_ date?" He asks, excited, somehow not having considered that this was a possibility.

Thor chuckles, nodding his head. "Of course. We'll go on however many dates you want."

"Really? Thank you!"

"Sweetheart," Thor says in that voice he usually uses when he's about to gently scold Loki about something; it makes Loki grimace a little. "You don't have to thank me. This is for both of us. I'm having fun, too, you know that right? I love spending time with you," Thor explains and Loki nods, chewing on his lower lip; he hadn't thought about it in this way before, but he supposes Thor has a point.

"Yeah, okay."

"Good boy," Thor tells him and leans in to kiss his forehead, making Loki's heart flip happily in his chest. "So what do you want us do on our next date?"

Loki thinks about it for a few seconds, deciding what he'd like quite quickly; he hopes that's okay with Thor.

"Uh, can it be a surprise?" He asks hesitantly.

He likes the idea of them organizing a date together, but he also loves surprises and he would really like it if Thor planned something for them; it's exciting and sweet and he knows he'll love it no matter what Thor decides to do.

"Of course it can, baby. But you'll have to give me some time to think of something good. I want it to be the best surprise ever," Thor tells him and Loki grins, nodding his head eagerly.

"Deal! Just don't plan anything with steak and I'm gonna love it," Loki teases him, chuckling at Thor's disappointed expression.

"Damn. There goes one of my ideas," Thor jokes and Loki laughs, shaking his head fondly, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much.

"I love you," he says once he's stopped laughing, the words slipping easily from his lips after all this time. It feels nice to be able to say it so effortlessly and to know that he's loved back.

"I love you, too, sweetheart. _So_ , so much," Thor tells him and Loki feels weak at the knees when he sees the way Thor's looking at him, soft and loving and full of fondness and affection. He basks in it, pressing even closer to Thor.

It's strange how even now that they're out and just walking on the street Loki feels at home, simply because Thor is right there with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading 😀💖  
> Kudos and comments are truly appreciated ❤️


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